Trashed Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 okay... i've posted about this guy before here.. and lets just call him bob. things have kinda gotten f'd up i guess. and i really like this guy sooooo much... gahhhh ok so, bob and i met thru the yacht club that we both go to. i've talked with him quite often after some of the cruises we take to catalina and such. and we're good friends, but i'm giving him time because he doesn't want a relationship with me right now on account of the fact that he and i live about 45min.-1hour away from eachother and we don't have cars yet. it's the long distance thing, and i agree with it b/c it really wouldn't last. i don't picture my dad driving me down there every weekend for the day... no way... so.. anyways.... things are pretty good with me and him... but the problem is, my ******* ex also goes to the yacht club thing. and that sucks major for me. so, my ex treats me pretty badly. he was spreading rumors about me and i was getting pretty fed up with it. so i confronted his faggotyassed self in a polite but assertive way... then he just kept on being a **** to me.. and i couldn't take it anymore.. all of the anger... horrible memories of emotional and mental abuse... the sadness.. the brokeness i have suffered so much from this ******* came out of me... i f'n attacked the bastard. i started punching him and his gay ass fell over.. but somehow he got on top of me but he was trying to restrain me... but that wasn't working... oh... and mind you that there was his current girlfriend there, his bro, and his friend... and they were just watching me kick his sorry ass... my ex HAD to tell his bro and friend to help him... which is sad.. and i ended up pulling out chunks of his hair and him having a nasty headache and total shock that i attacked him. soo.. the bad thing is... bob is friends with my ex... (thru the yacht club) and i really like bob... soo.. that weekend was horrible mostly because i had to come out and tell my dad what happened... and then i also admitted to that pat (ex's dad) was sexually harrassing me by calling me and saying inappropriate things... and doing inappropriate things... and mind you this has gone on for almost a year. disgusting pig. so... my weekend was shot... worrying about john not liking me anymore... pat the pedofile... my ex... rumors... bull****... everything... i ended up punching down lots and lots of smirnoff and champagne... fun fun... soo... i come home... and bob texts me and asks why i was starting **** with my ex... i messaged him on myspace and told him everything... and he understood... but i still have a feeling he's on my ex's side... not so much mine... but i thought he took my word and he decided to trust me... but then something odd happens... mary... (my ex's current girl) gets a random message about my ex and how he treated his girlfriends and ex's... it said that my ex would beat his gf's, emotionally/mentally abuse them, and would just be a prick after sex... and he'd be really ****in mean. supposedly he sent one girl to a psyche ward. and that was some scary ****. a lot of it matched up to me... except for the beating. and bob is the one that told me and even asked me if i wrote it.. i said no because... hell.. i didn't.... soo bob wanted me to give him every detail about how my ex treated me, and wanted to understand... and i tried soooo hard but it was near impossible b/c my ex killed me. and my body would physically hurt when i retold the story of our "relationship". i just don't know what to do about this ****.. i want bob to be on my side with this and say **** you to my ex... but i dunno if it will happen. i want to trust that bob may have good intentions.. and i have a gut feeling he does... and i hope he wants to know what happened because not only to satisfy his understanding... but to help me get it out and vent and just... feel better and BREATHE. bob is so sweet and very nice to me. he pretty much talks to me everyday... but i'm afraid he looks at me differently after that fight with my ex... and i feel like he thinks i'm nuts... he's only known me for a couple of months... but he seems like he's putting up with my psychoticness.. no, more than putting up... actually trying to help me and be supportive and caring and helping me figure it out... but i want soooo much more just can't explain why. i want him near me. i want him everywhere i am. i want him to see my heart and how i feel. i don't want him to see the worst of me... like beating up an ******* ex.. i don't want him to be scared of me... i don't want him to avoid me (he doesn't tho).. i dunno what i want... i guess i just want him... but it wont work right now... i wanna know if there's any chance for a relationship from him ever in the future? and if possibly maybe he'll realize my ex is a crazy mofo and wont talk to him? or wtf man??? geeeeze. like i said... bob is very sweet and nice to me... and is my advocate so far in a lot of my problems i've had.. i mean.. this guy knows more about me than i think some of my friends that have known my wayyy longer than he has.. and i don't want to lose him... he means a lot to me... i'm afraid he'll take my ex's side... and bail on me... or he's too embarrassed of me.. or i dunno... sooo many questions... gahh... helllppp.
Walk Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 "Bob" didn't bail after he found out, and he would've been gone already if he didn't think you were telling the truth. His actions say he wants to help you. I have a couple of suggestions though. It's always a bad idea to beat ex's up. You end up looking like an idiot, sympathy sides with the person who got attacked and you lose credibility. I strongly suggest you talk to your school counselor about the emotional abuse that you went through with your ex. Or ask your counselor to set up an appointment with someone who can help you sort through everything that happened.
Author Trashed Posted July 24, 2006 Author Posted July 24, 2006 thank you. i appreciate the feedback walk... but is there anybody else that can also give me feedback? i need some... and mostly about "bob".
BareGoddess Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 Bob is going to judge you by your behavior with your ex. Do you really think you conducted yourself in an appropriate and classy manner? What do you think he thinks about the fact that you beat up your ex? Get help to control your temper. No good man will want to be with a woman who beats up men.
Author Trashed Posted July 24, 2006 Author Posted July 24, 2006 honestly, i kno i was REALLY REALLY stupid for doing that to my ex... and honestly... it's not in my nature to be violent. PERIOD. i explained that to bob because i was worried about the same thing, but he's okay because i poured out all my frustrations that i had with my ex, and all the pain he's caused me with the abuses... and he understood.. and i never gave off the impression that i was violent... more happy and energetic and sometimes calm. iono.. but thank you very much with your opinion.. and i am seeing someone about my anger... thank you =]
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