Guest Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Hi well I'll try to make this short and simple. Well I met this girl and we have been talking for about a month. We only hung out for a weekend and she had the most amazing time with me and so did I. I'm going to be home for good in about 6 days. The problem is I'm not sure if I'm her rebound or not. But she brought it up before saying she doesn't want that. She just wants to take things really slow. I'm hoping once I go home I will get her mind off of her ex and we can have a good time together. We talk every night. Today her ex got her new number and she was argueing with him. So she had mix feelings about me and everything.. like she just needs a friend.. but hours later it seems like everything is ok.. I dunno what to do.. do you think everything will be ok once I get home and we start hanging out again.. it seems like she is really into me but this breakup is really hard on her... I really want to be with this girl :-(
tearful_soul22 Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 seems to me she is at that stage of rebound and still may be extremely vulnerable at this point. if you're tempted to enter into a relationship this quick, consider the consequences first and the damage you might do to her, emotionally. if you really want to be with her, then be patient and give her time to get over her ex..in a normal manner. don't rush into things cause that will almost always end poorly. good luck to you!
Javelin Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Tearful gave awesome advice and I will just follow-up on it. She just wants to take things really slow. Yeah, take her word for it! In this situation, nothing will be instant. I really want to be with this girl Play your cards right and she'll be in your arms in no time.
nicki Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 You are getting great advice from everyone. I'll add my two cents. Been on both sides of this issue. A few things that might help: 1. Don't give up your whole heart to this girl all at once. She isn't fully emotionally available yet, and neither should you be....keep things equal. You don't want your heart broken if she goes back to the ex. 2. Be fun, supportive, etc....but DON'T let her go on and on about her ex. You want to be the fun, new guy who isn't associated with the other guy. Keep the focus on you and her, and new memories. Otherwise, she could get stuck on the other guy. If she talks about the ex, nod and say "wow, that sucks (or had to suck)" then change the subject....or kiss her, whatever. 3. Make sure she isn't talking to him. You don't want to find out six months down the road that not only is she sending him emails and calling him, but she isn't sure YOU are the one for her. Don't be the back up guy. He needs to be out of the picture and not available in any way....that means no contact....tell her YOU are uncomfortable dating a girl who is in contact with a recent ex....she will agree in the early stages of dating. It's harder to get that promise later, especially if she doesn't want to let him go and is waiting for him. Good luck. Just have fun dating her and showing her a good time. Be casual and take things very slowly. Pace HER if SHE moves too fast, too. Make sure it's all real. Sorry so long. Been where you are several times.
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