anton2006 Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 Just over 2 and a half months ago I split up from my ex. We had been going out for 6 months and everything was great up to then. I was a little insecure at times, because of past relationships, but I tried my best to keep it in check. I found out 2 weeks before we split up that she went out one night got drunk and met up with a male friend and took him back to her place, I found this out cos I had gone around to hers to make sure she was ok, cos she doesn't handle her drink to well and I was concerned. I went round to hers the next day and told her that I did not want to be with her anymore cos I could not trust her any longer, she denied that anything had happened and that they were just friends and begged me to come back to her, I told her that I would need time to think about it and went back to my home. Her mum called me up later that day and said that my ex had been on the phone to her and didnt want it to end and that I should give her a second change as it would never happen again. 2 weeks passed, during which time things weren't that easy, then suddenly one day my ex called me up and said that she thought we had nothing in common and that we should split up. I did a bit of begging to which she got angry, then I changed my attitude and agreed to split up. The day after I asked her to leave some of my stuff that was at hers outside my door. She did so but rang the door bell instead of just leaving it. I didnt answer the door. She had forgotten to bring all my stuff back so I text her again to ask her to drop the rest off, she did that the next day, and again rang the door bell, I didnt answer. A couple of weeks later, I text her again to ask if she could drop a tool I needed off at my place and leave it in my letter box (I had left it at hers, cos Iwas doing some work on her home before we split) she said that she wouldnt drop it around but would give it to me on Monday at work ( I work in the same office as my ex and see her everyday) That same night she turned up with the tool and this time I answered the door. Everything was civil. A few weeks passed, and I was told by a friend that lives near her that the friend that she took back to hers when she was drunk had been going around to hers. I text her to tell her that I knew and wished her all the best, I was nice in my texts, but she accused me of stalking her! I told her that I would never do that cos it is illegal and that as we live on a small Island gossip was always flying around. Anyway since we split up my ex has been stomping around the office and never even acknowledges me when I see her, even tho I always say hi. She just recently went away for 2 weeks on holiday , so i thought it would be a good opportunity to get my head sorted and hopefully when she came back she would not be so angry and that the atmosphere in the office would be better. I was wrong when she came back she was in a worse mood and it has started to effect my colleagues. I text her again just to say that she still seemed angry for some reason and that I thought we should talk about it to clear the air for the sake of our colleagues. She started to get angry again and said she had moved on and when I asked why she was angry she said it was because I was constantly pestering by texting her and was stalking her and if it didnt stop she would call the cops! I said that if she had moved on she wouldnt be angry and that I was not stalking her and that I had only sent a few texts and they werent threatening so the cops would not be necessary and if she had a problem with the texts she should have said before. She got really angry and told me to stop texting her and leave her alone. I replied saying that I would respect her wish and leave her alone. Finally I will get to the point, I dont understand why she is angry Ihave only text her a few times in 2 and a half months, I have not been stalking her! Does she still have feelings for me? I know I should move on, but cant even after this long I still miss her so much, and trying to date anyone else is not what i want. Her emotions have been up and down since we split and even when I did leave her alone she still was in a mood with me, what should I do? - Sorry its so long
trebon Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 It sounds like you should just move on. I hate to say that to people becasue I dont want to myself, but it doens't seem like this will get better, especially when your contact has been spurrned like that. She must sort herself out, and whether that means be with you or not, it is out of your hands and you cant wait for her to suddenly become nice and ask to try again. You must take care of you and give yourself as much space as possible. You dont have to dive into new relationships but do go out a lot and have fun with other friends and distract yourself. NC would help but in such a close work enviroment I dont know it that would be possible, but outside of work it should be implemented fully - It is the best survival plan and will slowyly clear your head. Good luck
Author anton2006 Posted July 22, 2006 Author Posted July 22, 2006 Thanks for the advice, but I keep on getting mixed messages from her at work, she seems to get jealous everytime I woman talks to me. So that makes me think she still wants me.
trebon Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 I can understand that, but if she is unsure of what she wants she may see you as pressuring her whne she doesn't need it. I had this trouble and it caused many arguments. All I had to do was give space and time for her to sort her head out. In the meantime I was friendly and helped her out when I could. Nasty situation, I hope you get through it ok.
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