what do you make of this?

[Bill]

My girlfriend about a month ago, stop seeing me for 2 weeks, said she was busy etc. Later, 2 weeks later, she said she had broken up with me. This hurt me tremendously, we talked for about 2 weeks more. I felt that she would never see me again, and she was telling me she just needed time. It's been almost a month and a half now. 1 week ago, I decided not to contact her anymore. This hurts me so much not contacting her, we were very close. We had been going out for 2.5 years. I feel that I'm a fool if I keep trying to talk to her, when it's obvious something is bothering her. I've talked to some people, who say she is probably too young for a serious relationship. I'm 19 she's 17. She has been emailing me saying that she loves me. She emailed again saying that she misses me. She posted pictures of herself looking sad on my webpage. I still refuse to talk to her. I do this because I know that if I message her nothing will get accomplished. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be with her. I love her so very much, we had something very special. I know she would not date anyone else, and is not dating everyone else. I would not either, even though a girl from my past wants to date me. I could not do this, I am still wishing, that somehow we will get back. When I had to leave another girl, it did not feel like this. My girlfriend that just left me, emails me and tells me how she cries at night, thinking about how we used to sleep together (sleep as in sleep ZZzzZZz). I mean, we hugged and went to sleep that way, it was comfortable, for both of us. She emails me about crying thinking about all the other stuff we did. I think she may want to get back with me, but something is holding her back. I know she said something, when I was talking to her, about her parents saying that if this was her decision that it should be final. Weird thing is, they liked me. They used to give me presents and all this other stuff. I will keep waiting, if it was meant to be, she will come back. What do you think of this?

[ParadiseMan]

Bill,

 

Here's the situation. She's dating someone else and don't want to hurt your feelings.

 

I had this same situation happen to me so I know the signs and what they mean.

 

You are doing the right thing by not contacting her. You should also block her address in your email.

 

Date this other woman from your past. It may turn out to be somthing more special.

 

You see, women of her age group play games as in head games.

 

If you only slept with her and didn't have sex then this could also be what is going on. She may really love you in her own way, but she's found someone to have sex with. Women need to be pleasured and have their needs met. If you are only sleeping with her and not having protected sex then you are only her friend that's sleeping with her.

 

You are probably a "nice" guy. This will get you many women as friends. They need to know a man will take care of them financially and physically as well.

 

Sorry to burst any bubble you may have been holding about her.

 

She probably seems like a "nice" girl. She probably is. She let you sleep with her and you didn't touch her so her friends told her that she needed another man to give her pleasure. She is very impressionable at her age.

 

It's NOT you, it's her.

 

Relax and go out with this woman from your past and enjoy yourself.

 

There's always the future to get back with this girl. Just be glad you didn't get her pregnant.

[yes]

I agree that it's very likely there's another guy.

 

It happened to me, too when i was 18. I was dating one guy, and then another one asked me out and i wanted to break up with the first one. Well - the break up turned out rlly hard, and i did those lil things, and i said im just confused and i need time - basically everything yr ex-girl is doing. She is simply hurting. But she will not come back to u. Even if she does now, she'll leave later. For a lil while after breaking up, i hated the guy who asked me out n caused the break up (possibly so does she?)... but once i healed, i went for the other guy...

 

It's not necessarily whats happened with yr girl, but very likely. SHes only 17 - cmon! She needs to date around ...

 

Just stop contact altogether. Make it a clean break-up. It'll gain u some of her respect and help u both to move on already...

 

That's my point of view.

My girlfriend about a month ago, stop seeing me for 2 weeks, said she was busy etc. Later, 2 weeks later, she said she had broken up with me. This hurt me tremendously, we talked for about 2 weeks more. I felt that she would never see me again, and she was telling me she just needed time. It's been almost a month and a half now. 1 week ago, I decided not to contact her anymore. This hurts me so much not contacting her, we were very close. We had been going out for 2.5 years. I feel that I'm a fool if I keep trying to talk to her, when it's obvious something is bothering her. I've talked to some people, who say she is probably too young for a serious relationship. I'm 19 she's 17. She has been emailing me saying that she loves me. She emailed again saying that she misses me. She posted pictures of herself looking sad on my webpage. I still refuse to talk to her. I do this because I know that if I message her nothing will get accomplished. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be with her. I love her so very much, we had something very special. I know she would not date anyone else, and is not dating everyone else. I would not either, even though a girl from my past wants to date me. I could not do this, I am still wishing, that somehow we will get back. When I had to leave another girl, it did not feel like this. My girlfriend that just left me, emails me and tells me how she cries at night, thinking about how we used to sleep together (sleep as in sleep ZZzzZZz). I mean, we hugged and went to sleep that way, it was comfortable, for both of us. She emails me about crying thinking about all the other stuff we did. I think she may want to get back with me, but something is holding her back. I know she said something, when I was talking to her, about her parents saying that if this was her decision that it should be final. Weird thing is, they liked me. They used to give me presents and all this other stuff. I will keep waiting, if it was meant to be, she will come back. What do you think of this?

[Ed]

It probably won't make you feel any better, but this happens to the majority of teens that date and "fall in love". It's almost a requirement, a right of passage, in learning how live in the real world. Learning that not everything is permanent and learning how to let go of situations you have no control over are two of the best tools to carry with you from now on.

 

You are doing the right thing by not contacting her. It is in your best interest. You don't have to hate her or dislike her, just don't communicate with her. If you happen to run into her by accident, be cordial, keep it short and say goodbye. You need to let some time pass to let your feelings die down before having any kind of friendly contact with her. Don't IM, email or talk to her on the phone. Ignore her submissions to your website. Delete them without reading or viewing them.

 

Whatever you do, don't "keep waiting". Waiting will serve no useful purpose for you. If your feelings have any mature substance to them, moving on with your life will not hurt anything. Moving on with your life will eventually make you feel much better and will help you get rid of any feelings that you no longer have any practical use for.

 

Sitting around thinking about her and hoping things will work out WILL NOT make things work out. The only thing that will make things work out is for you to move on!

 

Find something else to do with your time. Occupy yourself with family, friends, hobbies or other interests. If you end up occupying your time with a friend of the opposite sex, like the girl from your past, so be it! Worse things have happened.

 

There is a whole lot more to life than love and "her". The sooner you find that out the better off you will be. No one can ever take that from you.