i need help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[caligirl]

ok well me and my boyfriend have been together going on 9 months now and he has a little bit of a problem, my boyfriend well i dont know how to come out and say it but he doesnt last very long when we are having sex. I also cant seem to have an orgasim i mean its not just with him, its with previous boyfriends. My boyfriend has tried useing his finger on my clitoris but its like its too intense for me to handle. It seems to me he doesnt like eating me out very much, i just dont know what we can do about our problems i need advise. It doesnt really bug me but once in awhile i wanna know what it feels like to have an orgasim. and when he tried rubbing my clit he got so fusterated because he was tring for atleast a hour anda half please i need some advise thanks

[Tony T]

Are you able to give yourself an orgasm during masturbation? If not, there may be a physiological or psychological problem that will need to be dealt with professionally.

 

If you are able to give yourself an orgasm during masturbation, then you know you are capable. It then becomes merely a question of relaxing sufficiently during sex and experimentation to make sure just the right stimulation is administered.

 

Foreplay is extremely important. Perhaps you need to spend more time on that aspect of lovemaking. If someone is aroused visually and sensually over a period of time, orgasm becomes much easier.

 

Get yourself checked out to be sure this isn't a problem that must be dealt with by professionals.

[helphere]

well, I learned the hard way about this, being a shy kid. My girlfriend forced me to eat her out, I got sick the first time. She was so sorry, she never meant it. Anyway, you need to be open with him, ask him to do what you want. You can also show him how to do it, don't let him decide. Sometimes you will be too sensitive, just try to relax, and don't do direct contact onto it. After time it will begin to feel better, and not too sensitive. Sometimes he may feel that you are not doing something to him, so why should he do it to you? I realize that some girls are NOT comfortable with that at all, and if you are not, DO NOT do it. You need to talk with him about that, if that is the way you are. Tell him it turns you on if he does that to you, he may just get the hint. Also, he may be nervous, if you say that he's having timing issues. Mood can put a serious damper on time, or make it WAY too long. He may take time to get used to all this. If you want to have an orgasm, he must do something oral to you first, then have sex. That way, you will have not only a clitoral orgasm, but also a normal one. Just having sex may feel good, but it is unlikely you will have an orgasm unless he does something first. It does happen, but it's not common. Time will make you both better at this. Communication is the key. Also, your enviroment you are in when you do this is also a concern. Get something that you won't be interrupted, something that will not make both of you nervous. And please, use protection at all times. You may hear that there is sperm inside pre-ejaculate, but there is NOT. I can comment on this because I'm in the medical profession. However, accidents happen, predictions on his part could be wrong. I wish you the best of luck. Just remember, it takes time to learn about each other!

[boo boo]

relaxation is definately the key to success in orgasim but also you need to feel that he really wants to perfom oral sex on you. There is nothing more of a turn on when you sense or are told how much he wants to give oral. Its as much a physical thing as a mental thing. After all attraction comes from visual, behavioural mannerisims, verbal and much more. If there are no serious health or mental problems here then i suggest you take a fresher perspective on oral and sex in general try massage with oils or even food!! make sex fun and the relaxation will follow naturally.

 

Has this advice been useful at all??

well, I learned the hard way about this, being a shy kid. My girlfriend forced me to eat her out, I got sick the first time. She was so sorry, she never meant it. Anyway, you need to be open with him, ask him to do what you want. You can also show him how to do it, don't let him decide. Sometimes you will be too sensitive, just try to relax, and don't do direct contact onto it. After time it will begin to feel better, and not too sensitive. Sometimes he may feel that you are not doing something to him, so why should he do it to you? I realize that some girls are NOT comfortable with that at all, and if you are not, DO NOT do it. You need to talk with him about that, if that is the way you are. Tell him it turns you on if he does that to you, he may just get the hint. Also, he may be nervous, if you say that he's having timing issues. Mood can put a serious damper on time, or make it WAY too long. He may take time to get used to all this. If you want to have an orgasm, he must do something oral to you first, then have sex. That way, you will have not only a clitoral orgasm, but also a normal one. Just having sex may feel good, but it is unlikely you will have an orgasm unless he does something first. It does happen, but it's not common. Time will make you both better at this. Communication is the key. Also, your enviroment you are in when you do this is also a concern. Get something that you won't be interrupted, something that will not make both of you nervous. And please, use protection at all times. You may hear that there is sperm inside pre-ejaculate, but there is NOT. I can comment on this because I'm in the medical profession. However, accidents happen, predictions on his part could be wrong. I wish you the best of luck. Just remember, it takes time to learn about each other!

[caligirl]

well is there any kind of ideas you can give as far as what kind of stuff to do. and i asked him if he is ever nervous and he said no. so i dont know what the deal is. Do you think it would be easier for him if i tried giving myself one. I have never actually tried to , but i dont know exactly what to so i can give me more advice i would appreciate it thanks

 

well, I learned the hard way about this, being a shy kid. My girlfriend forced me to eat her out, I got sick the first time. She was so sorry, she never meant it. Anyway, you need to be open with him, ask him to do what you want. You can also show him how to do it, don't let him decide. Sometimes you will be too sensitive, just try to relax, and don't do direct contact onto it. After time it will begin to feel better, and not too sensitive. Sometimes he may feel that you are not doing something to him, so why should he do it to you? I realize that some girls are NOT comfortable with that at all, and if you are not, DO NOT do it. You need to talk with him about that, if that is the way you are. Tell him it turns you on if he does that to you, he may just get the hint. Also, he may be nervous, if you say that he's having timing issues. Mood can put a serious damper on time, or make it WAY too long. He may take time to get used to all this. If you want to have an orgasm, he must do something oral to you first, then have sex. That way, you will have not only a clitoral orgasm, but also a normal one. Just having sex may feel good, but it is unlikely you will have an orgasm unless he does something first. It does happen, but it's not common. Time will make you both better at this. Communication is the key. Also, your enviroment you are in when you do this is also a concern. Get something that you won't be interrupted, something that will not make both of you nervous. And please, use protection at all times. You may hear that there is sperm inside pre-ejaculate, but there is NOT. I can comment on this because I'm in the medical profession. However, accidents happen, predictions on his part could be wrong. I wish you the best of luck. Just remember, it takes time to learn about each other!