nips5050 Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 What do you guys do when you miss someone you used to date but you know you can't be with them?? I find myself missing my ex a LOT (which is why it was off and on for two years - I'd miss him and call him up and we'd start it again but this time I had to permanently end it). I want to call him all the time cuz I miss him (for many reasons) but I know that I deserve better. What do you do when you miss someone but you know you need to stay away?? How do you deal with those feelings?? Keeping busy is the only thing that has helped me!
trebon Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 That sounds like the best Idea if you can manage to keep busy. I cant focus long enough and if i do I get a text message and the tone gives me butterflies, I run over just incase, its not her and I sink so you could say im in the same boat as you really! Friends could be useful if he wont be there as they give a realy good distraction and support if you do have a sad moment. NC is harsh and doesnt work for me but a lot of people say that the time it gave them allowed them to think within themselves and get through this difficult barrier. I hope you get through it, tell me how u manage it so I can give it a try! good luck! Keep me posted.
Pyro Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 Keeping busy is what will help you. Go hang out with friends, go out on the town, try new things. Anything to keep your mind occupied and not thinking about your ex, along with time is what will make you feel better. Good luck to you.
Author nips5050 Posted July 21, 2006 Author Posted July 21, 2006 if i do I get a text message and the tone gives me butterflies, I run over just incase, its not her and I sink so you could say im in the same boat as you really! I SO hear you on this!! I do the same thing!! I seriously am starting to loath text messaging because not only do I hope that when my phone goes off, it's him but it is so easy for me to send him a text (especially if I've had "one-too-many").
trebon Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 I do it with my MSN and even cars outside to. Even if I know its not her I have to check just incase - It drives me crazy! As well as coming on here to talk, I am keeping a journal. It started as a draft of a letter for her but now its a 30 + page monster! It helps me rant when I am really low and i can scribble and jab the pen into the paper if words dont help, and becasue its not on the laptop I cant send it to anyone on a whim! The other thing ive done which ive mentioned on here before was make 2 cds. One to help me deal with NC and another for when I have a bad couple of hours and I resign myself to wallowing and crying. If they are made well they can both really help, and I dont know if it is me but finding the songs was quite a therapy for an afternoon. Hope this helps! Good Luck!
Author nips5050 Posted July 22, 2006 Author Posted July 22, 2006 I The other thing ive done which ive mentioned on here before was make 2 cds. One to help me deal with NC and another for when I have a bad couple of hours and I resign myself to wallowing and crying. If they are made well they can both really help, and I dont know if it is me but finding the songs was quite a therapy for an afternoon. Hope this helps! Good Luck! You know what song has really helped for me?? "Goodbye My Lover" by James Blunt....here are the lyrics...they are so powerful for me and it helps me so much...I know they arent just about breaking up but for me, that's how it touches me...it expresses my feelings so well..... Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won. So I took what's mine by eternal right. Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care. You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. And love is blind and that I knew when, My heart was blinded by you. I've kissed your lips and held your head. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I am a dreamer but when I wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bear my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 What do you guys do when you miss someone you used to date but you know you can't be with them?? I find myself missing my ex a LOT (which is why it was off and on for two years - I'd miss him and call him up and we'd start it again but this time I had to permanently end it). I want to call him all the time cuz I miss him (for many reasons) but I know that I deserve better. What do you do when you miss someone but you know you need to stay away?? How do you deal with those feelings?? Keeping busy is the only thing that has helped me! Bang your head against something very hard till all you can focus on is the pain....takes your mind off another pain...nah just a bit of wierd lightheartedness there... Just fill your time up with socialising work hobbies and goals...seek a new love interest?
Mollyanna Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 Thank you for posting those lyrics, Nip. They were just what I needed right now. I just hung up the phone with my guy and then read this. Made me cry, but in a good way.
Author nips5050 Posted July 22, 2006 Author Posted July 22, 2006 Thank you for posting those lyrics, Nip. They were just what I needed right now. I just hung up the phone with my guy and then read this. Made me cry, but in a good way. That is how it effected me too. You should hear the song....the music is beautiful too. (if you have myspace it's on james blunt's page) Touches me every time i hear it. It reminds me of memories that I miss, tho and that can be hard sometimes. Like the first time I saw him cry. or how at home I felt in his bed (i miss that) and how I loved to watch him sleep. Or the other day I smelled someone that smelt just like him and it made me miss him terribly.
trebon Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 Great choice of song. - It was the first one I thought of for my cd. That second verse is so haunting and heartbreaking. It just has so much imagery of the things I had taken from me. Im welling up just thinking abut her. I wish I could just turn off the pain for five minutes Other songs I chose include; The one I love by David Gray Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol My Immortal by Evanesence The River by Bruce Springsteen Walking By by Something Corporate Starcrossed by Ash (We got engaged at the reading festival and met the band by chance and told them so they dedicated it to us in front of 50,000 people - happy times ) Who knew - Pink (that last chorus gets me every time) Nobody loves you by Reuben Boy by Reuben - (WOW) Tearjerker - fenix tx Hold you in my arms - Ray Lamontagne (or 'shelter', or 'trouble', or 'burn') The Blower's daughter - Damien Rice Luv - Travis (the most heartbreaking song ever) Only one - Yellowcard Ocean avenue - Yellowcard La cienega just smiled - Ryan Adams When a man loves a woman - Percy Sledge (one of our songs after we had rowed and then watched the film of the same name, we realised how good our love was and how stupid the argument was) I wont post lyris for space reasons but do check them out. Some of the others songs were a little more personal and prob wouldnt help as they are more triggers for my memories but hopefully you guys can get something out of these songs.
blind_otter Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 I believe I tend to spend a lot of time on LS when I miss that immature, arrogant, self absorbed, egotistical, crude, dirty, unempathetic bastard.
Sonic_chaos Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 At the moment Im very much the same. Some of the songs mentioned above can just kill me thinking about her. Some of the songs i know she has on her laptop i also have and ive tried to avoid them to be honest. Deleted her of msn, of my phone so i have no temptation at all. Its only thing i can do.. Still miss her tho. But on a positive note, she was the reason i signed up to LS and she is the reason im now writing here now as its keeping me busy reading thro other peoples problems/lifes/situation and its stopping me thinking about it indirectly even tho i am thinking about her im not. If that makes any sence at all. As i can relate to most of you with the things..
Author nips5050 Posted July 23, 2006 Author Posted July 23, 2006 UGH! I am going crazy today!! I havent missed him this much in a while!!! I think it's cuz I had a lazier day and I'm not busy enough to be distracted to not think about it!! I'm going to try journaling to get my mind off of it. And watch my favorite movie, stand by me - there is NO romance in that movie to get me thinking about it and, well, and it's my fav movie. Seriously! LOL
dominsane Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 At the moment Im very much the same. Some of the songs mentioned above can just kill me thinking about her. Some of the songs i know she has on her laptop i also have and ive tried to avoid them to be honest. Deleted her of msn, of my phone so i have no temptation at all. Its only thing i can do.. Still miss her tho. But on a positive note, she was the reason i signed up to LS and she is the reason im now writing here now as its keeping me busy reading thro other peoples problems/lifes/situation and its stopping me thinking about it indirectly even tho i am thinking about her im not. If that makes any sence at all. As i can relate to most of you with the things.. My ex is also the reason i signed up for LS..and I keep finding myself doing things to just try to not remember all the pain...but then I constantly find myself thinking about why exactly I'm doing these things, and it's all because of him...and then I just think of him..and how he left... It does make sense though...
fatty Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Great list of songs. The song "My immortal by evanesence" always makes me cry no matter how many times I listen to it. Best advice I can give for you is anytime you feel sad, go to one of your closest freinds and tell them to just shut up and listen. You don't want any feedback but just tell them to listen to your story. I always felt the greatest releif when I poured out my story or how I felt to my freind. I just felt a weight had been lifted from my heart and would feel better afterwords. After a while (for me a thousand times atleast) I realized that my relationship is now just stories and not a reality anymore. I have to make my reality and keep believing that you will find someone that will treat you the way you need to be treated. I am still not over my g/f yet, its been a year and a half. We still talk sometimes over the phone, and I always end up feeling insecure about myself in anyway. I always thought I can't be good enough for her, but I am still onthe road to figure that out. Best of luck. P.S. keeping yourself busy to helps. I just think if you do not address your feelings at the moment, they will come back 10 folds. Allow yourself to grow from these feelings and make sure you acknowledge them. Do not put them in a vault and forget about it.
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