lil_angel Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 so i suppose its completely impossible for a straight guy w/ no problems to be in a long relationship and not sleep w/ his girlfriend....*rolls eyes*
RecordProducer Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 so i suppose its completely impossible for a straight guy w/ no problems to be in a long relationship and not sleep w/ his girlfriend....*rolls eyes*I wonder how some people don't get some disease due to rolling their eyes too often. Rolling eyes means only one thing: "OMG, you're so dumb and I am so smart!" It also means you can't express your opinion properly, because you're not able to eloquently elaborate your thoughts; all you can do is roll your eyes as in 'it's so obvious you know nothing... unlike me ." You're a student, right? Keep learning! Will keep you off the streets. Who said it was "impossible"? This guy has obviously slept with half the town (not that it's a big town, but still... ) and isn't into this no-sex-before-marriage crap. The girl WANTED to have sex with him; it's HIM who said he couldn't. By the way, the whole idea about not having sex prior to marriage comes from the old times when no contraception was available and a woman would get pregnant every time she sleeps with a guy. Nowadays it just doesn't make any sense.
Outcast Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Rolling eyes means only one thing: "OMG, you're so dumb and I am so smart!" Nope. It means 'yeesh'. By the way, the whole idea about not having sex prior to marriage comes from the old times when no contraception was available and a woman would get pregnant every time she sleeps with a guy. A lot of people follow the tenets of their religions and many relgions frown on premarital sex. For example, this one time we had this amazing day (a few mths of amazing days, really) and then I went to work for like 4 hrs,came back to his house and he was like, "Im not good enough for you. You deserve better." He did this a MILLION times. OP, the guy is a MAJOR head case. It is immaterial if he loves you or doesn't love you or respects you or not; he can't manage to conduct a relationship without fleeing like a rabbit. His own family and he himself all say he has issues. I say forget about him, wish him well, and go find someone that is not as messed up as that dude.
Starr1 Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Who said it was "impossible"? This guy has obviously slept with half the town (not that it's a big town, but still... ) and isn't into this no-sex-before-marriage crap. The girl WANTED to have sex with him; it's HIM who said he couldn't. By the way, the whole idea about not having sex prior to marriage comes from the old times when no contraception was available and a woman would get pregnant every time she sleeps with a guy. Nowadays it just doesn't make any sense. Thanks for disrespecting mine and I'm sure other people's religious AND personal beliefs. Good to see you are very accepting of different views, opinions and ideas. As other ppl have said dude, this guy does sound like he has issues and it probably was a very good move to end the relationship. On the other end of the coin, just remember if a guy doesn't have straight out sex with you at the right time or avoids it, unless you know his background very well like you did this person, don't think he is a loon and dump him straight away
Author nips5050 Posted July 23, 2006 Author Posted July 23, 2006 Nips, I read all your posts and now I definitely realize what the whole situation is about - he loves you and respects you as a friend, likes you sexually, but not enough to be in a relationship with you. The mom thing only makes things complicated for him, but nothing in this world would have stopped him from sleeping with you if he were really into you 100%. He just didn't want to hurt you. Stop analizing things so much and forget him. When you're over him, when you fall in love with someone else, you can be friends with him. Some day you will see that I was right. Yea...I totally hear what you are saying. He was in a relationship for 3 years with a girl he loved very much and she cheated on him and I know he hasn't healed from that completely which is why I know he's afraid of a relationship. I just remembered one detail I forgot! Last time we messed around he said, "We can't have sex but I want to pleasure you" so he gave me great oral sex. Yea, I know he didnt want to hurt me...I appreciate that. HE also knew how big of a deal I think sex is - I dont think it's a casual act and that any guy who just tries to get me in bed will be highly disappointed because it isnt gonna happen and I told him that the first day I met him. I think that might have stuck in his mind too. But yea, I'm not really worried about it and I'm moving on better this time than anyother time I've had to 'move on'. His actions just confused me sometimes
Author nips5050 Posted July 23, 2006 Author Posted July 23, 2006 I guess I express my thoughts and concerns not because I want anything to do with him, I am just the type that likes to UNDERSTAND things. Without understanding, for me anyway, there's confusion. With confusion, it's hard to heal!! I wanted to share one last incident and see if anyone has any insights: Back in May, when he was trying to get back into my life, he knew I'd be at this sportsbar dancing with my friends. Well he showed up, got absolutely smashed, and had no way to get home. So my friend and I told him we'd take him home (he got kicked out of the bar). The entire way home he told me how he was in love with me and how I was the only woman he has known (since the woman he was wiht for 3 years) that he would want to marry and then he asked me to marry him. Then I told him he was drunk and to shut up (I had a HUGE guard up cuz he hurt me pretty bad a few mths before). But he kept on going "I love you" "I'm in love with you" "I've been such a jerk to you but I love you so much". I dropped him off at home and he passed out on the couch. The next day he called to thank me for bringing him home and asked him if he remembered what he said to me the night before and he said a little bit and then I told him and he said, "Oh, i was just drunk". And I believe that cuz it was so not like him to be 'mushy' like that. So I have had guys tell me two things: 1. Guys say stuff when they are drunk that isn't true 2. Guys express their deepest feeligns when they are drunk....what do you GUYS say. Like I said, it doesnt really matter either way...just curious!!!
Author nips5050 Posted July 30, 2006 Author Posted July 30, 2006 So I got stupid and talked to my ex last nite...this is our conversation- I feel like a total fool!!!! He has a girlfriend!! WTF!!!!! Me: Whatcha doin? J:whatching tv Me: Fun j:Why do you keep texting me at like 2 the last couple nights? Me: Cuz im not as busy that late and ive been thinkin bout you j:Well u could try a more reasonable time Me: Sorry J:It's not that big of a deal james, it just seems like your drunk and lonely, kinda sad actually. Me:Not at all actually...call me if u dont believe me j: cant do that my girlfriend wouldnt like that too much Me: I bet not J: I hope all is well james you take care Me: Oh gosh sorry 4 bugging u j:Your not buggin me, it was agreed I wouldnt talk to ex's that's all. me: Wow that makes me feel like a pile of **** J: Why's that? Me: Ud let someone else love u but not me J:It's not like that Me: Yes it obviously is Me: Well its good 2 know how u really feel and that I wasted my feelings on u J: Feelings are never wasted. Besides you know how I felt, otherwise we would have been in together. Your drunk, go to bed. Me: I havent been drinking...besides ur actions and words never matched up J: I never said **** ,good bye Me: Whatever J: Jamie its over, let it go. I don't want to hurt you more than I already have. Im sorry for the way things worked out. Me: Thats fine i can do that just as well as u obviously can. Wish u coulda longer ago. Not sure what she has that I dont. That hurts a bit J: Jamie we havent talked in months, your fine. And she isn't like you and your not like her. Your awesome Jamie! Just not for me. Me: Never said I wasnt fine. Just wish u wouldnta messed with me the way u did...that wasnt right J:Didnt mess with you i'm going to bed Me: U knew I was in love with u and u took advantage of that...whatever bye J: Yea sure did...I even had sex wiht ya. (which we havent) Whatever Jamie, good bye. Take care. YEP!! I feel so retarded for getting all emotional and honest and ****. I AM STUPID GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess everything that happened meant nothing to him. Makes me feel like crap.
basscatcher Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 Nips.. From your convo it sounds like he is playing with you. If something goes wrong with his current gf he will run to you for booty or whatever so he doesn't have to feel alone. By you contacting him you allowed yourself to reconnect with him. You allowed yourself to be vulnerable to him and with him by your own submission. As I am doing and others it would be best for you to go NC with him. The last parts of your conversation he seemed to be attempting to hook you in as a backup if things should fall apart with his current gf. Don't play this game with him. You opened a door that could now get you hurt. Even when you THINK you are strong enough to encounter him your heart isn't and it just pulled you back. Hearing his voice and hearing his game stirred emotions in you. Look at this as a lesson. You can't have contact with him. It will pull you back into his spell.. I too will be tempted later on. (I'm hoping not...) It's only been 4 days for me since I told him (Charlie) NC.. He has respected it so far. I have also. I know the temptation will be there and I plan to fight it.. No matter which side starts it. I have felt a sense of freedom and relaxation I haven't felt in a long time since the NC was placed. I asked him to respect it and so far he has. Your Xbf still affects you, you found that out the hard way or you wouldn't feel like a 'stupid girl'. So STOP beating yourself up and feeling terrible. Look at it in the positive light. YOU learned something... YOUR HUMAN, YOU HAVE FEELINGS, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE CONTACT WITH HIM OR HE WILL PULL YOU BACKWARDS... We all need to test ourselves once in awhile the point in it is to learn from the experience and your experience showed you are still emotionally vulnerable to him. He may have talked rudely or sarcastic towards you during the convo, but some of the words he may have used may have had a undertone of hooking you in as a backup girl if you allow it to affect you. Time to get your backbone and not be less then you are. You deserve better, you are better then what he gave you, don't take scraps when you deserve the Fillet Minion with all the fixings.. So pick yourself up, brush yourself off, hold your high and raise your standards just a little bit because you learned something new... *** HUGS ***
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