NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 All yesterday i was out and all evening i was out.... THEN at 2am my recently unblocked on msn EX text me saying this :- ******** I know it's late, but i pressume youre awake! Just wondering why you haven't been online...I know it's wierd, and i'm sorry, but i just wondered how you are. Sorry x ********* Which I replied - ******** I'm great, out with mates in town....and yeah, that was a wee bit wierd of you...... ******** I remember while i was with him i devoted myself to him 199% and when i wasn't with him i sat around thinking about him because i had no one else to be with and nothing much to do....and he knew this....but whenever i rarely left the house for a night or day with friends when they were free...he'd get all funny on me clingy...and scared...- is that what he's doing now because we haven't spoken in 4 months and now he's unblocked on msn he can see when i'm in and when i'm not....and the second im not in i get text messages like that...even though we've barely spoken on msn apart from a bit of small talk.
KittenMoon Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 Hon- if you need to twist the knife a bit on him to get some of your own back, go ahead, but be quick about it and then move on. From what you've said this guy doesn't exactly sounds like a winner. And look how good your doing by going out and having fun w/o him! Let him stew wondering about the new you.
2020vision Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 You need to drop this guy. He knows how to push your buttons and he will continue to do so until you completley cut him off. Why did you block him and why did you respond? I remember while i was with him i devoted myself to him 199% and when i wasn't with him i sat around thinking about him because i had no one else to be with and nothing much to do....and he knew this....but whenever i rarely left the house for a night or day with friends when they were free...he'd get all funny on me clingy...and scared...- is that what he's doing now because we haven't spoken in 4 months and now he's unblocked on msn he can see when i'm in and when i'm not....and the second im not in i get text messages like that...even though we've barely spoken on msn apart from a bit of small talk. This sounds EXACTLY like my ex. If I were you, I would run away as fast as I can. Do not confuse his shallow attempt to check up on you, as a form of affection or confuse it with him actually loving you. He just wants to see if you are still his little puppet on a string. And guess what, you just proved to him that you are. Do not accept this crap from him, you deserve better and I think you know you do. But, only you can make your life better and you have to want to first. -2020
trebon Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 This guy has nothing of merit to give to you. It seems you are over him and so don't give him the oppertunity to hurt you again. If you feel the need to get back at him, enjoy it and then dont just block him again - delete him for good! Let him have what he deserves and make him pine after the new you!
bendit Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 Nights, how would you like us to react? Are you hurting? Venting? You don't sound like you are hurting, nor in much of a need-to-cope plight. You sound intrigued actually, and aok with this new piece of drama that's come about. You're pleased as punch that he has taken a renewed interest in Nights. Umm, what exactly are you saying to us with this post? To me, it looks like a person who really can't be "without" a special someone in their life, and when things get "dull" you unblock him, and get your "fix". Now you have an unfolding drama stream pouring into your life. Wala! No more boring! Nights you say "it's started". Are you surprised? You shouldn't be. You started the ball rolling with your contact and now you are getting contact returned. This sounds like the natural course, no? I believe you got what you wanted: Renewed contact with X. Am I being harsh in my commentary? From your vantage point sure; but not from mine. Its just honest. I don't think its valuable to "support" people who willingly go in a direction they know could be painful (they were warned over and over). Why support "wrong" behaviour? And why would you broadcast the events of his contact to the community, as if him returning contact is somehow "newsworthy"? Its not. Its physics. For every Action there is a Reaction. You know exactly what you are going to get here because a number of experienced copers told you what to expect. You were warned the stove is hot. But you want to touch it anyway because you can't resist "touching" it. For anybody following along. This is what happens when someone is Addicted to another, only they think its just a "game". It gets rather Silly seeing someone plunge in despite all warnings. Especially when it all hits the fan. As it will. regards
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 21, 2006 Author Posted July 21, 2006 Nights, how would you like us to react? Are you hurting? Venting? You don't sound like you are hurting, nor in much of a need-to-cope plight. You sound intrigued actually, and aok with this new piece of drama that's come about. You're pleased as punch that he has taken a renewed interest in Nights. Umm, what exactly are you saying to us with this post? To me, it looks like a person who really can't be "without" a special someone in their life, and when things get "dull" you unblock him, and get your "fix". Now you have an unfolding drama stream pouring into your life. Wala! No more boring! Nights you say "it's started". Are you surprised? You shouldn't be. You started the ball rolling with your contact and now you are getting contact returned. This sounds like the natural course, no? I believe you got what you wanted: Renewed contact with X. Am I being harsh in my commentary? From your vantage point sure; but not from mine. Its just honest. I don't think its valuable to "support" people who willingly go in a direction they know could be painful (they were warned over and over). Why support "wrong" behaviour? And why would you broadcast the events of his contact to the community, as if him returning contact is somehow "newsworthy"? Its not. Its physics. For every Action there is a Reaction. You know exactly what you are going to get here because a number of experienced copers told you what to expect. You were warned the stove is hot. But you want to touch it anyway because you can't resist "touching" it. For anybody following along. This is what happens when someone is Addicted to another, only they think its just a "game". It gets rather Silly seeing someone plunge in despite all warnings. Especially when it all hits the fan. As it will. regards Yeah you're totally off the mark just a wee bit there love. Firstly after the split he acted like nothing happened he dumped me but still treated me like his girlfriend....messed me up....i said friendship wont work and went off my own way said my goodbyes etc. He persuaded me to give friendship a chance...i said ok but not yet and we tried NC but him and his mates didnt leave it alone and put me on numerous guilt trips....the other night on my birthday i finally gave in when they were all getting to me about it while i was supposed to be having fun well screw me over - I guess i have a heart!...so i unblocked him. No i'm not 'pleased as punch' bendit everytime this guy shows the slightest bit of affection towards me i was to run off curl up in a ball and cry nor am i completely over him no matter how much i try to convince myself i am. How would i like you to react? Well huni for starters i dont expect a reaction....i expect nothing...and at the time i was angry and having a vent. This is the first time i've unblocked him i do not play games with people. You are quite a nasty piece of work arent you bendit. Cheers for making me feel loads better! ''Nights you say "it's started". Are you surprised? You shouldn't be. You started the ball rolling with your contact and now you are getting contact returned. This sounds like the natural course, no? I believe you got what you wanted: Renewed contact with X.'' For the past 4 months you do NOT know the guilt trips i have had to endure from him and his friend about the fact i had him blocked. Just who the f**kin hell do you think you are anyway saying all this you have no clue about my life my ex the relationship we had and you know sod all about me iiiiiiiiiim thinking that i remind you of...your ex maybe lets get started on analysing you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ''I don't think its valuable to "support" people who willingly go in a direction they know could be painful (they were warned over and over). Why support "wrong" behaviour? And why would you broadcast the events of his contact to the community, as if him returning contact is somehow "newsworthy"? Its not. Its physics. For every Action there is a Reaction.'' ITS CALLED VENTING YOU INSENSITIVE P***K ITS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO TALK TO I DIDNT ASK FOR SUPPORT FOR F**KS SAKE WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO SOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 21, 2006 Author Posted July 21, 2006 Hon- if you need to twist the knife a bit on him to get some of your own back, go ahead, but be quick about it and then move on. From what you've said this guy doesn't exactly sounds like a winner. And look how good your doing by going out and having fun w/o him! Let him stew wondering about the new you. I've unblocked yes but not to twist the knife...but to be friends...not for a quick jab and run....what am i supposed to do though when he's checking up on me everytime i leave the computer...need to keep him at arms length...
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 21, 2006 Author Posted July 21, 2006 Nights, how would you like us to react? Are you hurting? Venting? You don't sound like you are hurting, nor in much of a need-to-cope plight. Oh dear, guess i'm sprung here no, i'm not over the guy! Yes i am hurting as i've found out he's sleeping around a few days ago....well didn't you bugger up that judgement! I spend every minute of every day and night thinking about him and knowing no matter how much i love him i cant go back to him even if he wanted me back because all he ever does it just hurt me. Oh but cheers though - you just wiped the smile of denile right off my face!
the_alchemyst Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 Aw, don't get angry, Nights! Anyone who applies physics to emotions is silly. And you know--I know exactly what you mean. After a rather long time of NC, receiving contact from the X really does stirr you up, if you're not completely over them. If you are, then you probably will feel nothing, but if you are not, receiving contact from them after you are there by yourself trying to stay strong--AH! It's like they kicked you all the way back to square one. It makes you angry, sad, confused, and just unloads the whole bundle of emotions you've been trying to keep at bay, hoping to ship them far away soon enough. Eesh. I hated when my exbf did that to me. I'd be here minding my own business--if I was happy or pinning it didn't really matter, so long as HE didn't know--and poof! Contact. And then you proceed to ask and think of so many questions and sure enough--you're going crazy again. They really shouldn't do that. I mean, if they were the dumpers, then f*** off!! It's like they take freaking pride in jabbing your heart. Bastards. Anyways, keep posting, Nights! I like reading your posts cause I can sympathize with a lot of them. PS: Maybe you should consider blocking him again. Maybe you're still not ready to be friends with him. It's for your own good, after all.
2020vision Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 Yeah you're totally off the mark just a wee bit there love. Firstly after the split he acted like nothing happened he dumped me but still treated me like his girlfriend....messed me up....i said friendship wont work and went off my own way said my goodbyes etc. He persuaded me to give friendship a chance...i said ok but not yet and we tried NC but him and his mates didnt leave it alone and put me on numerous guilt trips....the other night on my birthday i finally gave in when they were all getting to me about it while i was supposed to be having fun well screw me over - I guess i have a heart!...so i unblocked him. No i'm not 'pleased as punch' bendit everytime this guy shows the slightest bit of affection towards me i was to run off curl up in a ball and cry nor am i completely over him no matter how much i try to convince myself i am. How would i like you to react? Well huni for starters i dont expect a reaction....i expect nothing...and at the time i was angry and having a vent. This is the first time i've unblocked him i do not play games with people. You are quite a nasty piece of work arent you bendit. Cheers for making me feel loads better! ''Nights you say "it's started". Are you surprised? You shouldn't be. You started the ball rolling with your contact and now you are getting contact returned. This sounds like the natural course, no? I believe you got what you wanted: Renewed contact with X.'' For the past 4 months you do NOT know the guilt trips i have had to endure from him and his friend about the fact i had him blocked. Just who the f**kin hell do you think you are anyway saying all this you have no clue about my life my ex the relationship we had and you know sod all about me iiiiiiiiiim thinking that i remind you of...your ex maybe lets get started on analysing you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ''I don't think its valuable to "support" people who willingly go in a direction they know could be painful (they were warned over and over). Why support "wrong" behaviour? And why would you broadcast the events of his contact to the community, as if him returning contact is somehow "newsworthy"? Its not. Its physics. For every Action there is a Reaction.'' ITS CALLED VENTING YOU INSENSITIVE P***K ITS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO TALK TO I DIDNT ASK FOR SUPPORT FOR F**KS SAKE WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO SOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG We all are just looking out for your best interest here. If you don't do something to stop this, you will drive yourself insane. It is frustrating to give advice to someone in pain, and watch them ignore it. It is within your best interest to look at the advice that is being given to you, and absorb everything you can from it.
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 22, 2006 Author Posted July 22, 2006 We all are just looking out for your best interest here. If you don't do something to stop this, you will drive yourself insane. It is frustrating to give advice to someone in pain, and watch them ignore it. It is within your best interest to look at the advice that is being given to you, and absorb everything you can from it. I agree....it can be frustrating - but Bendit was totally out of line and i'm not impressed. I have re blocked him and mailed him explaining why....i shouldn't allow people to pressurise me into things i dont want to do and that make me unhappy. Alchemist - hey hunni, how've you been! I know what you mean...i feel back at square one all over again...all the NC i've bit my lip and worked so hard at keeping has just been trashed....i was just drunk and it was my birthday and his 2 best mates were there and it wasnt like talking to them on msn i couldnt just walk away or leave the convo...and they got to me and then 'he' started texting me till 4 am...and it just got to me... lets stay strong from now on eh
Chinook Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 lets stay strong from now on eh Indeed young lady! And if you're in Manchester UK, you should be in bed (where I'm going) Uh, that didn't sound right at all. Anyways, um... no contact the Chinook way... for healing. ** Block and delete contacts on MSN & YM & AIM & Skype & Trillian etc etc etc ** Block and delete email addresses at home and work. ** Get rid of mobile phone and/or change number. ** Change home number of landline and install answer machine. ** Delete all bookmarks to web blogs and references to friends of ex. ** Add sites to 'restricted sites' on net nanny or browser options. ** Drop all friends and/or acquaintances associated with ex (easy for me as he didn't have that many). ** Inform ex that only contact he has is by post or in person and if he violates it, you will take out a restraining order. Simple. If you want to heal you got to have willpower. Whilst holding out hope, none of this level of NC will work. I have literally pared down my life to be stripped of everything from the 10 years we spent together. I will not compromise my future and my healing to have him f**k it up. Nighty night!
alphamale Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 ******** I know it's late, but i pressume youre awake! Just wondering why you haven't been online...I know it's wierd, and i'm sorry, but i just wondered how you are. Sorry x ********* This guy sounds like a pathetic fool. I'm glad you dumped him NIWS.
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 22, 2006 Author Posted July 22, 2006 This guy sounds like a pathetic fool. I'm glad you dumped him NIWS. I didn't, he dumped me...twice
alphamale Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 I didn't, he dumped me...twice oh, sorry. I just assumed you did it. Usually the women do it
KittenMoon Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 I didn't, he dumped me...twice Why does HE keep contacting you? Is he working on a third time?
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 22, 2006 Author Posted July 22, 2006 Why does HE keep contacting you? Is he working on a third time? I dunno, maybe he wants to push the knife a little deeper and give it a good ole twist. Maybe he hates the fact i'm moving on with my life without him. Maybe he still doesn't want me to move on even though he doesnt want me. That's why i got so angry when i got that text the other night, when he was checking up on me to see why i wasnt online when he hardly said to words to me when i was online. Lots of things have change since i last saw him, i now have a life of my own away from him which i never had before....and i'm now single...and not allover him like a bad rash stroking his ego...it's probably a little hard for him to swallow that im not head over heels in love with his 'perfectness' anymore.
KittenMoon Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 I dunno, maybe he wants to push the knife a little deeper and give it a good ole twist. Maybe he hates the fact i'm moving on with my life without him. Maybe he still doesn't want me to move on even though he doesnt want me. That's why i got so angry when i got that text the other night, when he was checking up on me to see why i wasnt online when he hardly said to words to me when i was online. Lots of things have change since i last saw him, i now have a life of my own away from him which i never had before....and i'm now single...and not allover him like a bad rash stroking his ego...it's probably a little hard for him to swallow that im not head over heels in love with his 'perfectness' anymore. Ok- so you say all this and it sounds good. Now to hell with him! Ignore him and let him find some other girl to pine and stroke his ego.
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