toonicegirl Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 my ex broke NC so we're staying in a LC right now (he broke up with me 3 month ago, we were together 6 months)...usually he initiates contact now.... he started posting comments on my myspace blog...then sending me messages on myspace....they all are kinda short, funny, ironic (so do my responses).... lately he started sending me messages about something from myspace but on my cellphone(!?)...he could leave me a message on myspace, i dont know why he textmessaged me two days in a row... then next day message on myspace about some guy we both know (ironic one)... i responded next day and he sent me message right away... i sent back ironic one also and then a long message from him about something that happened in his life lately, something important that he achieved.... im wondering why he wanted me to know it...
In Sync Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 my ex broke NC so we're staying in a LC right now (he broke up with me 3 month ago, we were together 6 months)...usually he initiates contact now.... he started posting comments on my myspace blog...then sending me messages on myspace....they all are kinda short, funny, ironic (so do my responses).... lately he started sending me messages about something from myspace but on my cellphone(!?)...he could leave me a message on myspace, i dont know why he textmessaged me two days in a row... then next day message on myspace about some guy we both know (ironic one)... i responded next day and he sent me message right away... i sent back ironic one also and then a long message from him about something that happened in his life lately, something important that he achieved.... im wondering why he wanted me to know it... Your ex is using you to boost his ego. By maintaining LC which flat out contact allows him to do so. These text messages with ironic banter eventually lose their luster. First it keeps you on a string and does not allo you to move on and heal. I mean if he's still contacting you he's STILL on your mind. Is this LC fulfilling for you?
Author toonicegirl Posted July 21, 2006 Author Posted July 21, 2006 Your ex is using you to boost his ego. By maintaining LC which flat out contact allows him to do so. These text messages with ironic banter eventually lose their luster. First it keeps you on a string and does not allo you to move on and heal. I mean if he's still contacting you he's STILL on your mind. Is this LC fulfilling for you? it boosts my ego too...cause i know that his new relationship is not perfect... when i was in new relationships i didnt care what my exes were doing, i didnt wanna talk to them, etc... he broke nc after 2 months so i had time to heal (not quite but i dont need him to make me happy)
Love_the_Loni Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 First, your message is barely coherant, but I'm going to give this a shot anyway. I assume this guy is still in contact with you and letting you know about his accomplishments for 2 reasons. 1) He still likes you whether he admits it or not--there is still something there in some capacity. 2) He wants you to know how you would have been better off with him and that you will ultimately miss out by not being with him. Trust me. That is the only reason we do weird stuff like that.
In Sync Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 Uh I disagree...your ex does not like you. And the longer you take that point the longer you will stay in a silly exchange of text messages and blog messages and equate that to "he still likes you." ormake excuses that he feels he made a mistake. If he regrets breaking up with you he's had plenty of opportunity to say...simple word. "I'm Sorry." or "Can we give it another try." Why hide behind all this juvenile text messaging? Don't get suckered into trivial bs and thinking it's gold. If you want a relationship with him say what are we doing.. Bring it up. But maybe this is enough for you..only you know that. But guessing the motives of an ex and assuming their meaning is pointless because you are just as much in the dark as before.
Author toonicegirl Posted July 21, 2006 Author Posted July 21, 2006 i kinda agree with both of you... after break up he started dating a new girl like right next week, they are still dating although they are having problems... he broke up with me saying that we were too different (i knew that: different country, language barier, me college graduate, no smoking, no drinking, never used drugs...he: bad boy but on the good way.... he didnt change for me, i met him clean...he only stopped smoking cause of me..and still doesnt smoke)...my sister says that maybe before he felt like he was not good for me, like i reminded him that he didnt achieve anything ih his life...and now he wants me to know that... i know that his new girl would be pissed knowing that we are talking...it looks like he doesnt care what she thinks about it...and the thing is that she was more like him, they have more i common, but it looks like grass isnt always greener...and this is what makes me feel good... i dont know if i want him back... i think that his messaging me shows that he misses me at least a little
In Sync Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 i kinda agree with both of you... after break up he started dating a new girl like right next week, they are still dating although they are having problems... he broke up with me saying that we were too different (i knew that: different country, language barier, me college graduate, no smoking, no drinking, never used drugs...he: bad boy but on the good way.... he didnt change for me, i met him clean...he only stopped smoking cause of me..and still doesnt smoke)...my sister says that maybe before he felt like he was not good for me, like i reminded him that he didnt achieve anything ih his life...and now he wants me to know that... i know that his new girl would be pissed knowing that we are talking...it looks like he doesnt care what she thinks about it...and the thing is that she was more like him, they have more i common, but it looks like grass isnt always greener...and this is what makes me feel good... i dont know if i want him back... i think that his messaging me shows that he misses me at least a little Listen I'm not trying to be harsh with you, it's just that if being blunt makes you to reflect and step back that's a good thing. I wish I had as much bluntness or before I found LS before I got suckered into nonsense as well, a.k.a text messageing and e-mails. (yeah my ex before the final break up sent me messages too and I equated it to he really regrets his decision.) That's a nice little lie we tell ourselves to nurture our egos...in the meanwhile he's still with the other girl you say! Ah come on. His messaging shows you that he respects neither one of you. The thing about all this cyber texting and writing..he could be doing it to you her and another.And believe me, when he gets replies it boosts his ego. It's like look I got this one writing me, and that one...In the meanwhile is he actually spending quality time with YOU?
Author toonicegirl Posted July 22, 2006 Author Posted July 22, 2006 If you want a relationship with him say what are we doing.. Bring it up. But maybe this is enough for you..only you know that. sometimes i think to do this...like ask him...kinda joke about him missing me aparently...but im afraid that it's gonna get worse...i dont need to rush...i dont feel like i need
In Sync Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 sometimes i think to do this...like ask him...kinda joke about him missing me aparently...but im afraid that it's gonna get worse...i dont need to rush...i dont feel like i need What I'm getting from this staement is you want to prolong the contact. You aren't rushing anything (I suspect you are buying time in the hopes he'll come to his senses dump that girl and come back to you so you put up with the crumbs he tosses you)..since he was the one who broke it off and now he's dictating the terms of this pseudo text message relationship. It's already worse because he knows he's got you available and in the meanwhile he's got still involved with the other relationship. And why do you believe what he says about what's going on with this girl. What do you think he's telling this girl about you..the truth? Block his text messages and find yourself a guy who wants to be with you in the flesh.
Author toonicegirl Posted July 22, 2006 Author Posted July 22, 2006 And why do you believe what he says about what's going on with this girl. What do you think he's telling this girl about you..the truth? we dont talk about us or him and her...i know that they are having problems from myspace cause she shows her moods there all the time... we keep our messages around his succesful project... he wanted to know my opinion... you know i feel that you're right...but sometimes you just got to give it a shot to see how it's gonna end with my previuos relationship i had a 2 weeks break... everybody was like: it's not guy for you, he's an idiot, etc...but i was so in love...i gave it another shot...after few months i broke up (he did something i couldnt forget and forgive)...and now i know how stupid i was being with him...right now im single and this previuos ex was trying to be in contact with me...i was mean, and i said no...i couldnt imagine talking to him, seeing him, he was a loser... now i know everything people were telling me was truth, but it was my own decision in 100%...so with this ex (my last relationship) i feel like i need to be 100% sure too....that's why i stay in touch i guess
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