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Posted

My boyfriend and I have been dating around 9 months and recently I have become overly insecure about who he hangs out with. Trust has never been a huge issue with us so my recent insecurities are really frustrating for both of us. I constantly worry and ask him who's he's been with, who's he going to hang out with, and who's he talking to (online). I feel like a crazy possesive jealous girlfriend! I hate it! I blame a lot of it on this time of the month but it's really getting ridiculous. I do not think he will cheat on me and I do believe that he loves me but why am I so afraid that of being hurt and betrayed? I need to figure this out before I run him off! Being a jealous crazy girlfriend is not something I enjoy being. Help!!

Posted

i say you are on the right path by knowing yourself.

so if you didnt ruin it yet chances are good for you.

go right NOW and tell him you are sorry for being so insecure and that you are going to go for a walk and work out your issues.

GO TELL HIM SORRY GO FOR A WALK,EVERYTHIG WILL BE OK IF YOU JUST FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF EVERDAY.

 

just sounds like you have a previous security issue but that you are on top of it and as long as you take care of you you guys will be fine right!!

  • Author
Posted

Thanks for replying and for the very nice advice. I talked to him early and basically said that I was sorry for being insecure and that I was trying to deal with it and he said that he would help me through it as long as he knew I was trying. So right now, things are looking up. If I could just realize that love is not something you can always protect yourself from and that in order to enjoy my boyfriend and our time together I have to take a risk and put myself out there and trust him. Ugh! And yeah, I kind of got burned in my last relationship so I'm sure that's not helping this trust thing. Anyway, thanks for the advice!

Posted

Has anything happened recently that is causing you to question him? Have you been like this in other relationships? Do you have trust issues with your friends or family? Have you ever cheated on anyone? Are your friends telling you not to trust him? How is your relationship with him otherwise: is he affectionate, does he call you when he says he will call, does he show up on time, does he do the things he promises he'll do?

 

You can't own people or their thoughts and friends. Unless someone has proven themselves to be less than trustworthy, you have to give them enough respect not to question them constantly.

  • Author
Posted

No, nothing has triggered this intense insecurity. Yes, I was very untrusting of my last boyfriend. I have fears about losing close friends but I generally trust by best ones. No, I have never cheated on anyone. My friends are very supportive of me and my feelings so they basically say what I want to hear (that's a good and bad thing) but no they do not tell me not to trust him. He is affectionate when we're together, he always calls when he says he will, etc. but he does have issues with opening up about his emotions and how he really feels about things.

 

He is a very nonemotional unexpressive person in all aspects of his life not just our relationship. I need to learn to give him the benefit of the doubt. Just because my last boyfriend cheated on me and I chose not to go with my gut then doesn't mean my current boyfriend will screw me over the same way. It's easy to say/write that but it's hard to just stand by and not protect yourself. Thanks for the advice.

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