CollDoll Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and we recently moved out together. We have in the past broke up a few times for a short period, but never anything serious. Everything in our relationship is great. He treats me good, and he has a heart of gold. One day I tell myself this is the guy I should marry, and the next I'm thinking otherwise, and that reason being the ONE BIG problem in our relationship. I have never been able to really enjoy sex with him. Due to the enormous size of his penis, I am unable to really enjoy sexual things with him and be comfortable. SOunds funny, but its a hard time. I'm a sexual person and it's frustrating not to be able to do certian things with him. Just recent, maybe going back to MArch I cheated on him, with a friend of mine whom I've onced dated but never slept with. I haven't had good of sex ever!!!! I have slept with this person 3 times since March. I know it's horrible and I know I'm a horrible person to be doing this when I go home to a great guy every night. So I know I can't have my cake and eat it too. I can't talk to any of my friends because they are all friends with my boyfriend and they'll just get upset, so I can't ask them for any advice. I've been thinking that I need to figure myself out, and was thinking about moving back home with my parents, but at the same time I have a fear of losing him forever. I know I can be faithful if I wanted to and Marryhim and spend the rest of my life with him, but am I really ever gonna be truley happy?
norajane Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 K, so first of all, sex isn't just about the penis, right? Does he try to give you orgasms with his hand or through oral sex? Maybe using vibes? He can please you in so many ways without even using his penis at all. And you can give him pleasure without any penetration, but with your hands and through oral. Then, when you're having sex, have you tried using lubricant? That can really help things slide better with less pulling. He can also use shorter strokes when he's inside you if he's hitting your cervix. There are also certain positions where there's less penetration, like with both of you lying on your sides facing away from each other and him penetrating you from behind. You can try experimenting being on top, which gives you a lot more control. Have you ever talked about this with him? I'm sure he'd want to make sex good for you, but you do have to tell him what's going on. Otherwise, you really need to stop having sex with this other guy. Cheating is never the right answer, IMO. If you ultimately decide you can't be with your boyfriend, break up with him first before you hook up with other guys...it's the only fair thing to do.
Bryanp Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 Let me understand this. He is a great guy your boyfriend who treats you like gold and you live together. Because his penis is a little big for your comfort, you decide to cheat on him behind his back with someone else and put his health at risk for STD's? This is what he gets for treating you great? How would you feel if the roles were reversed and he felt you were just a little small for him so he cheats on you with an old girlfriend 3 times and puts your health at risk for STD's? Clearly you have very little respect for him and your relationship. I suggest you be honest with him and tell him the truth. This is the least that you can do for him. This will allow him to decide if he wishes to work on recovery of your relationship with him. What you have been doing to him is so very cruel. Tell him the truth and let him decide how he wishes to live his life and decide if he wishes to find someone else who can truly love and respect him and respect the meaning of a committment because clearly you are not that person.
Kengne Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 Yes as norajane suggested you def should try other things sexually *lube, different positions, manual stimulation, oral sex* before totally giving up on the idea of having pleasurable sex with your bf. But if after all of THAT you still aren't feeling it - then girl it's time to get out. Because you've already cheated once due to sexual dissatisfaction. Marrying him won't change the size of his penis, nor will it give you the strength of will to NOT cheat again. It doesn't work like that. A marriage is only as good as what you put into it. And right now, you're not putting too much good stuff into your rel'ship by cheating. My advice is to break it off with your bf if ultimately, the sex continues to be a problem. I don't think you should mention the cheating, because it will only hurt him furthermore on top of everything else. Good luck, and keep us posted! K.
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