Jammoo Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 I'm 18. She's 16. We were going out for almost 11 months but we spent much more time together than a normal couple. We're in highschool and it was both of our first relationship. I'd be with her at school, after school untill 11 and every weekend and over night if it wasnt a school day. It's not like we were alone all the time though, we went out with my friends and they became her best friends too. We'd spend a lot of time with her family too, I actually got closer to hers than I am to mine. Because it was my first relationship I didn't know too much about what's right and wrong in dating and I made a lot of mistakes. But every one of them I learned from and became a better boyfriend because of it. Before I got my drivers license we used to do a lot of things with one of my close friends, and she started to like him a bit. I have never set any rules with what she can and cant do because she wasn't a very happy person when I met her but I was changing that. We kept doing things with my friend even after I found out because it made her happy and I was able to be even better to her than I was before and didnt loose her. She got over him and we were closer than ever after it. A few months later....about 2 months ago, an older friend of mine got back from college and we spent a lot of time doing things with him, again she started to get a crush on him but I knew I had to change the way I was treating her to keep her this time. I had a huge breakthrough and thought of so many ways to make her happy with me, I was going to sell my motorcycle and save up a couple thousand dollars to make our 1 year aniversary the best day of our lives. I started looking at rings, and found the perfect one. My family was going on vacation to Virginia so I had to go for a couple weeks. This was only about a week after I had the breakthrough and was only starting to change things. I left and she was so sad the last time I saw her and she told me that she will always love me and we are going to have an awsome summer when I get back. A few days into my vacation she told me that she wanted to try dating my friend and that we were broken up. I tried to talk her out of it but when she thinks she wants something she can't be convinced otherwise. I talked to my friend and he promissed me that he wouldnt do anything with her and he'd try to help us get back together. But he lied to me and it hurts so bad to loose her to him. My entire vacation was torture after she told me that, My whole life was changing and I was helpless to do anything about it. When I got back they were dating and half my friends hated me and were my EXfriends side and didnt like me, and the other half hated my exgirlfriend and my exfriend for doing this to me. So now I dont have her, I dont have a lot of my friends, Everything I do is so different to what I did before and im so confused as to what to do. There are a lot more details to the story but if I told you this would be 3 times as long. I dont know what to do, I love her so much and I want her to be happy.
MrPot Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 You have no choice but to cut off all contact with her. Seriously. Study up on No Contact (NC) on this site as much as possible. Stay away from her completely. It doesn't matter that you still love her. Think about what she did to you. If you stop talking to her, she might come back, and that's the only way she'll come back. You have to show her that you have a spine and that you won't stand up for this ****.
Guest Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 I keep trying to give her space but I still want to be friends If we can't be together. I want to be with her so much more than I want to be friends but I think I'm ruining our potential to be friends by trying to get back with her. I just want whats best for her, and I think she is going to regret some of the choices she's making now in the future...not the choice to leave me, but she wants to move with him after the summer when he goes to college. She is leaving her family, friends, and her entire life behind. Her dad is in the hospital and might not make it much longer, and her leaving might either make him die, or he'll die for another reason whill she's gone. She says that she doesn't want to not do something just because her family doesnt want her to and that she has done that enough. But I know how much it will hurt her if that happens and I dont know how to convince her not to go. She's only 16, she shouldnt be moving out with a guy that she will have only been dating for 2 months. I want whats best for her, but I dont know how to give it to her anymore now that we aren't together.
unfinite Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 I keep trying to give her space but I still want to be friends If we can't be together. I want to be with her so much more than I want to be friends but I think I'm ruining our potential to be friends by trying to get back with her. I just want whats best for her, and I think she is going to regret some of the choices she's making now in the future...not the choice to leave me, but she wants to move with him after the summer when he goes to college. She is leaving her family, friends, and her entire life behind. Her dad is in the hospital and might not make it much longer, and her leaving might either make him die, or he'll die for another reason whill she's gone. She says that she doesn't want to not do something just because her family doesnt want her to and that she has done that enough. But I know how much it will hurt her if that happens and I dont know how to convince her not to go. She's only 16, she shouldnt be moving out with a guy that she will have only been dating for 2 months. I want whats best for her, but I dont know how to give it to her anymore now that we aren't together. I just wish that it wasn't this way...I would much rather have her single than with another person, she is never going to realise that she misses me if there is always someone there to chear her up. A lot of people dont realise how much she means to me, and think that letting her go will be a good thing, but the last 2.5 weeks have been the worst of my entire life. I dont want this to be such a big deal but it is. I dont know what to do.
unfinite Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 I'm not sure if NC will work. I can see how it would work if she was single, but being with abother guy, she can only get closer to him and further from me. I need someone to tell me how it could ever work between us. I dont want to just stop, I love her too much to be able to stop. She says that she notices little things he does that I never did. I'm hoping that she will start to notice things that I did for her and he doesnt do. But I fear that will take a long time and I will have moved on by then.
trebon Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 This is so similar to my story and so I really really get where you are coming from. I cant do NC for exactly that reason but shes resenting my contact so I dont really have a choice, but its doesnt work if she's hardly in touch anyway! I cant see a way out just yet, but be patient, sort yourself out and move on as much as you can and if she does come calling when it all falls through (at her age it sounds like impulse) she will need someone. If you are that someone she will apprecitae it and you could become good friedns again, BUT if at that point you are still attatched that is when the NC will come in. Its tough but hopefully the guys on this board will help you deal with it. Good luck, sincerely. please keep me posted.
unfinite Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 whops...i logged in as the wrong account. i didnt want to use this name incase someone i know googled unfinite and found all this stuff im saying...too late now though i guess I'm Jammoo too, i made that account so i wouldnt use a name everyone connects me to.
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