Guest Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 I've been dating this guy for a couple of weeks. I'm concerned because my brother and I swap "war stories" and he told me he thought things were moving way too fast, and that I needed to date around. I find he's always had good advice to give (he's 3 years older). In those couple weeks, we've had lunch together several times (we work in the same building), seen a couple movies, had dinner together several times, hung out with his friends, etc. We've slept together once. Neither of us really expected it, and he offered to wait...my bad. We just really seem to click so far. I knew him several months before we started dating. We'd eaten lunch together, platonically, and chatted it up. He's four years older than I am, so I wonder if he's maybe looking for a commitment faster than I am? I've never been the kind of person to rush into things (dated last guy for five years, was STILL hesitant to move in together). He's gone for a couple weeks on vacation. Does this constitute slowing things down? Should I be trying to slow things down? And if so, how do you go about doing that? Am I just worrying too much? I really like the guy, and both of us, apparently, had been eyeing one another since we've met. I'm just concerned about one or both of us getting our feelings trampled on.
Tony T Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 If the poor guy is out of town and on vacation and not able to see you, I would hardly call that "slowing things down." Give the guy a break! I don't see any problems here at all. Hey, you've already gone to bed with him so there's not a whole lot more to anticipate than emotional closeness. If you're enjoying yourself and having fun, keep on going. Of course, I don't think you should join him on vacation...wait until he gets home. As far as getting hurt is concerned, there is no way you can prevent this regardless of how you pace a relationship. There is always going to be some heartache when you care about somebody. This should not be a factor in enjoying the present. If you want to avoid hurt in romantic relationships, become a nun!
Heavenseventeen Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 I agree 100% with the above. I don't have one myself, but I thought brothers don't like their sisters boyfriends. Maybe he's just worried because the guy is 4yrs older. As long as he doesn't push you beyond your limits, I don't see what the problem is.
Guest Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 Oh dear. I wasn't trying to imply that I thought he was trying to slow things down. I guess I was wondering if his time away on vacation could substitute for the whole slowing things down thing? I mean, it's certainly giving me time to think things through. And yikes! I wouldn't join him on vacation. I'm not clingy. My brother isn't really the stereotypically protective older brother. He did think the last guy didn't deserve me, but he LOVES my younger sister's boyfriend. He's more like a really good friend. My siblings and I are all very close. It's not anything he has against this guy in particular (he hasn't met him or anything), he just thinks that we're moving too fast. Thanks for the feedback. I guess I just want to make sure I'm not making a huge mistake.
Recommended Posts