crzyblndstar Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 I was just wondering if anyone ever remained friends with their fwb after they stopped with the benefits part of the friendship. I was friends with a guy for a while and we decided to have a fwb relationship. It was going fine for a while, but now I think we have both developed feelings for each other, but neither one of us are ready for a reltionship. I think it would be better if we ended the benefits part of the friendship before one of us gets hurt, but I would really like us to remain friends. The problem is, is that we have become so accustomed to the benefits part of the friendship, that I don't know if we could be *just* friends again. Anyone have any experience with going back to being *just* friends?
Author crzyblndstar Posted July 21, 2006 Author Posted July 21, 2006 Anyone with any experience with this? Anyone?
Sonic_chaos Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 i dont envy you at all in your position. I know mates that became friends with some other friends and started dating. There no longer together and no longer close friends like they was before. 99% of people just cant turn there feelings off and on like a switch so it starts getting complex, which sounds something like that now. Havent had that experience, but i found it awkward to talk to my best mates girlfriend for a while after she set me up with a date *her best mate* cool with her now ike, but it took time. Maybe just take some time away from each other as friends then just give him a call out the blue like "hey how are you?" depends how close friends you are i guess. close as in every day or 3 times a month if that before you had the FWB's side of it..
CaterpillarGirl Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 After such intimacy, it may be hard to transition back. Here's a few tips: 1) Make sure that both of you want this. If one of you is still holding onto feelings or hopes of a relationship, this needs to be resolved first. 2) Meet in public settings for a while until you are comfortable with spending time together and not involving sex or intimacy. If you find that even a public setting is too difficult to keep your hands of each other - involve other friends. 3) When you are able to spend time alone together in a private setting, make sure that you are aware of each other's space and have a focus for your meetings that is not romantic - i.e. watching sports, playing a boardgame, weeding the backyard. 4) If you feel yourself slipping back into the fwb stage, take some time away from each other and focus your energy on improving yourself or helping others. Hope this helps!
Author crzyblndstar Posted July 24, 2006 Author Posted July 24, 2006 Hey, thanks for the advice. We haven't talked in about a week, and I think it is for the best. I would like to eventually be friends again and be able to hang out, but it will take time. I really feel that we are just toxic to each other. If we had a relationship, it would not be healthy for either one of us, and that is why I want to end it now, before it is too late. Thanks again.
Recommended Posts