fabulousgal Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 I was single for YEARS before my last bf. I loved every minute of it. I didn't seek relationships, or guys period. Just never met anyone in those yrs I felt a spark with, now I look at myself post breakup, and while I am nowhere near the black hole of hell I was in awhile ago, I'm still upset. I miss things, I still hurt inside. I'm always seeking to be around guys (but I don't hook up w them at all) bc I'm lonely. I always have my friends sleep over (platonically) bc I hate going to bed alone. If I have to, I sleep on the couch. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!!! This isn't me!
Diver012 Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 I was single for YEARS before my last bf. I loved every minute of it. I didn't seek relationships, or guys period. Just never met anyone in those yrs I felt a spark with, now I look at myself post breakup, and while I am nowhere near the black hole of hell I was in awhile ago, I'm still upset. I miss things, I still hurt inside. I'm always seeking to be around guys (but I don't hook up w them at all) bc I'm lonely. I always have my friends sleep over (platonically) bc I hate going to bed alone. If I have to, I sleep on the couch. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!!! This isn't me! Your going through the exact same thing I am it seems. You got comfortable in a relationship. Thats gone now. You liked the closeness. You want that back, not necessarily from your Ex, but from someone. When your heart is ready, reach out to someone new and embrace them. Remember how wonderful it felt to have someone special in your life, and allow your heart to give someone else a chance. It will be scary, but well worth it. The book that I have been reading, "No more My Nice Guy", has forced me to realize that the reason I was single for so long is because I was scared. Fear of rejection, fear of being hurt or nobody liking me for who I was. Now Im just scared of being scared, and im starting to reach out again, for better or for worse. Im not scared of being hurt anymore. Im scared of being alone.
AriaIncognito Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 I was the same way, Fab. I broke up with my ex of 4 years, back in 2001. I didn't date a single person for 3 years. Not really because I wasn't over my ex, but because I was happy with my life as it was. I was single, going out and doing stuff, and I think I was generally happy. Matter of fact, when I met the guy that broke that dry spell, i was really unsure about dating becauswe I didn't want to become that woman that "needed a man" again because I had finally gotten myself to the point where I was feeling fine without one. Unfortunately (well, not really) I did cave and dated him for a year. We split in Dec 2005 and i didn't really spend much time pining over him, but i also didn't assume I'd find another relationship too soon. I wasn't even looking for another one, but then I met my now most recent ex, end of january 2006 and we started dating. We broke up a month ago, and well, I'm finding myself being the woman i didnt' want to be. Wanting a relationship so desperately. I know most of it is probably the companionship/closeness. I miss that terribly. I miss the person my ex was, but I don't miss the fact that I was always wondering where i stood with him, since he wouldn't commit. Breakups are just difficult, however we slice it. Keep doing what you're doing, have friends come over and hang, keep busy, you'll eventually move on to a better place. Unfortunately these things happen in their own time frames, not in ours... Jennifer
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