wump Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 I've been having problems understanding this girl for months now. I'm not sure if it is becuase of the age difference. I work with this girl, who has only been in the city for a couple months now. There is an age difference between us of about 7 years and i'm her boss. Now I don't get involved with co-workers but there was something different about her. We got along instantly and we were soon flirting openly for weeks. We'd joke with each other, wrestle and we were very touchy with each other. It was blantantly obvious to the rest of our co-workers that something was up between us. However, whenever I asked her to go out with me alone she would say "no" and her excuse was that she didn't know anybody and was uncomfortable to go out alone but she said that I could come out with her and her friends. This seemed valid since she won't go out with our staff at all and since she is a girl in a new city. So, that night when i arrived she had gotten extremley dressed up which I kinda hoped was for me, but when we got to the bar and many drinks later I might add, She was flirting and dancing with a bunch of different guys which I took as a sign as she wasn't intereseted. However, the next few weeks we continued to flirt. She would tell me that she didn't want to work with anybody else and she would go wherever I would go. I told her when we joking around and she mention that we weren't friends anymore that I didn't want to be just her friend, and i did things for her that I think most people would take as signs of interest, such as puting my hands on her waist, touching her arm, calling to see if she needed anything when she was sick, and she even wanted me to put a bandage on her finger after she cut herself even though someone helped her earlier. So I tried asking her out again on several occassions only to be turned down and told that I could come over to her place. Once, again I decide to take her up on one of her invitations and we have a few beers and talk but she sat away from me and after sometime decides to tell me that she has invited some guy she met at the bar the night we went out, who she can't remember much about. So, I take this as a sign that we are just friends after she gets a phone call from him, and becuase I don't want to watch her flirt with some guy, I tell her I have to leave? So we continue to flirt at work but i tried to keep our friendship since she doesn't seem interested and we work together. I ask her about the guy that was coming over and she tells me he never showed. Then everything seems to get even stranger. We sort of had a disagreement one night at work because she seemed to be trying to atagonize me. she called me the next day before her and her friends were leaving for the weekend and told me she was sorry and that she was worried I would be done with her. she asked me if I wanted her to call when she got there and I said "yes", but she never phoned. Since she has gotten back things have been different she seems really edgy towards me and hasn't been very nice. It all started when she mentioned that she had talked to a guy from her hometown, who she says she is going to marry. So I asked her how her man was doing and she said he was not he man. From this point on in the day she won't really look or joke with me at all. When I have asked her what was wrong she tells me its nothing, she doesn't want to talk to me, and that it has nothing to do with me yet she is being really bitchy towards me. she says that this is her knew personality and not everything has to be about me. What is going on is she playing me? have I not done something she wanted me to do and now she is done with me?
gfto Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 whenever I asked her to go out with me alone she would say "no" That means she isn't interested in you. the next few weeks we continued to flirt. Flirting means absolutely nothing. i did things for her that I think most people would take as signs of interest, such as puting my hands on her waist, touching her arm, Huge mistake. Although it's a moot point in this case, from now on let the woman initiate that kind of stuff. I decide to take her up on one of her invitations and we have a few beers and talk but she sat away from me and after sometime decides to tell me that she has invited some guy she met at the bar the night we went out, who she can't remember much about. A woman with high interest in you would not say something like this. Look, this girl knows you're crazy about her. And, you sound like a "nice guy." She'll take full advantage of that, and toy with you for her own amusement. And, given that you're her boss, she's probably also thinking "promotion." I'd suggest that you cool off on this girl and keep it strictly professional. Get some new phone numbers.
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