wintercs Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 Some of you are going to slap me, but whatever, I'm working through this. I just checked out the ex's myspace and this dude that I think she might be hollering at...couple pics of them on her pics page, left a comment on his page. Now here's the thing...this saturday is her older bro's wedding in Florida...her girlfriend was going to be her "date" because she's in the wedding party and she told me when we were dating that she didnt want to bring me (as her date) because of all the commotion and what not, plus this would probably be the last chance for her to bring a girlfriend of hers to the wedding. Well super, I had no problem with that, and I understood where she was coming from, no problem at all. Well, on this dude's profile, my ex's other friend (not the one that was going to be going to the wedding with her) makes the following comment: you have too much fun making her mad!!! Have fun this week! Catch you when you get back Now I don't know who this "her" is, but I'm thinking it is my ex...bc she posted the following comment a day earlier: you only come to myspace when you have a comment huh? so here's my comment... change your damn profile!! One last thing....I believe that my ex left for Florida on Monday, she had last logged into myspace on the 16th...I'm not sure when the last time that he logged into myspace, but they both show that they last logged into myspace on the 18th - yesterday. My ass is on pause right now but in about 3 seconds Ima bout to hit play and explode. To be real, I really don't think that he would have went along to Florida with her and her family, especially due to the occassion. And hell, I only have circumstantial evidence that there might be something going on between the two. Sometimes I am very cynical, especially when I don't know what's going on, and this might be one of those things. On the ohter hand, maybe there is something going on - which would really piss me off - because she told me that she didnt want to be someone's other half right now...hmm, that didn't take long, 3 weeks after me. Maybe, just maybe she'll realize by attending this wedding what true love really is and that she'll think of her and I standing up there instead of her brother and her sis-and-law. I know you can't tell this, but this whole thing tooke me only about 5 minutes to write because I'm so fired up right now at this whole thing. Gimme something, anything, to help me out... Thanks a bunch
laRubiaBonita Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 STOP checking up on her is the BEST advice there is.
Guest Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 STOP what you are doing. I'm beginning to be a little fearful for your ex and her new boyfriend. Maybe she was right to leave you, considering you are now stalking her. She . . . moved . . . on. You should too. And the ONLY way for you to do that is to FORCE yourself not to keeping spying on her. You obviously think that you need more answers, but more answers will only make you crazier. Let me tell you, there is never "closure" with this sort of thing. Get a hobby, go for a run, focus on school. Do absolutely EVERYTHING but what you are doing now.
Guest Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 Did anyone watch the episode on 'Felicity' where Noel had a crush on Tyra Banks (a fellow college student) and he managed to get her e-mail password and kept finding out all sorts of information about her? She eventually found out and it didn't end well - at first. I think that love causes you to do crazy things. Even if you know they are wrong you can't help yourself. You just need to have some sense of control over the situation. I understand where you are coming from though. But I think that you already know that you absolutely have to stop doing this! You are going to drive yourself crazy and hurt yourself more!
trebon Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 This will make everythign so much worse. It may be your only connection to her but it is not going to help anyone and will only fuel paranioa - especially as she is not with you anymore. You must distract yourself from it. If she is not with you you cant do anything. simple and painful as that mate. I know its hard becasue im in a similar boat, I didnt check up but I stayed in distant contact and it made it so much worse. Just have a shower and a cool off. Then try and focus on something, anything other than her. Believe me, if she was to ever come back and found out about this she would be gone agian before you blink. Give yourself space. fight the temptation. Good luck
Love_the_Loni Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 Dude, wow. You have to chill. No matter what she told you when you split (not ready to be serious, not wanting to be with anyone right now, too busy, whatever)--bottom line, SHE IS JUST NOT INTO YOU! Move on. If she feeds you some line like that and is hanging out with someone else that means whatever she told you was easier than the truth. I'm sorry man. Its a bummer, but it happens to all of us at some point.
Author wintercs Posted July 21, 2006 Author Posted July 21, 2006 Just to give everyone an update, I'm much "cooler" right now and my original post was just a breakdown that I just kind of threw on her. I'm not like stalking her every day or whatever, I had just went to her myspace, saw everything, and the next thing you know, the "worst case scenario gremlins" started to fill my head. For all I know, it's just innocent. I still haven't talked to her in a while and that has helped. I still miss her like crazy but I try to kick that out of my head when I do feel that way. I konw that we won't be NC forever, and I guess I'll be ready to talk when this all subsides, but for now I'm holding steady. Hopefully resting up for this evening, going out, and hopefully finding some charming ladiessssssssssssssssss
Mollyanna Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 I've done the email checking thing and the website checking thing. All it did was keep me emotional and not ready to move on with my life. I was obsessed and to me that addiction felt like love. It was only after a few emails absolutely broke my heart and threw me into a dangerous depression - only then could I stop. Don't get to that point. There is nothing to gain from watching her every move. All you are doing is putting your own life on PAUSE to watch her's.
gfto Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 Some of you are going to slap me, Consider yourself slapped. she told me that she didnt want to be someone's other half right now...hmm, that didn't take long, 3 weeks after me. What she meant was that she didn't want to be YOUR other half. But, you can be sure that by that time she was already taking applications from new guys. Maybe, just maybe she'll realize by attending this wedding what true love really is and that she'll think of her and I standing up there instead of her brother and her sis-and-law. probably not. Seriously, all this myspace analysis is going to destroy you. Leave it alone and focus on meeting those new ladiessssssss you were referring to!!
dominsane Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 I must confess that I'm guilty of checking my ex's myspace too... He's deleted all my comments(although we're still talking) and his status is now 'single' (i think that was the hardest one to overcome) and the picture he had of us is gone. I'm not in his top 8. And some other girl(who I thought he might be cheating one me with) is 'in my place' so to speak. I decided that yesterday, I would stop checking his myspace. And I wouldn't talk to him as much either... But it's just those brief moments...usually at night, when he's online...that I feel as if everything might be ok. Then I sign off, go to sleep, and feel horrible the next morning. But really, if she said that she didnt want to be with you...or she doesn't need to be 'the other half' of somebody, give her her space...which you did. and that's good, now I just have to learn how to give my ex some space...so he can not feel claustrophobic. Anyone else need to attend a Stalkers Anonymous meeting?
bextreme1 Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 They call it an EX for a reason. You have no rights here, you don't own her and she can do whatever she wants. Time for you to move on and forget about it. Grow up and come back to reality. I don't understand men wanting to keep checking on their exes. What's the point?? There's nothing you can do about it but cause trouble. Focus on yourself and you will be a better person.
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