Tammy Posted December 9, 2001 Share Posted December 9, 2001 Boyfriend and I have gone through a few breakups in the past and we've always managed to get back together. This time I think the ball has dropped for the last time. I still love him alot and I know he does as well. We moved together after dating only a month and I feel that this move may have accelerated our downfall. We just seem to argue way too much. Is this normal in relationships? Especially when you're co-habitating? I love this guy and want him back. What can I say or do at this point? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted December 9, 2001 Share Posted December 9, 2001 You were far too vague for me to be able to guess whether you're dealing with a serious problem or one that could be more easily fixed. What are you arguing about? Is it always one of you who initiates these arguments? Do they get resolved? You're probably right though, that moving in together after only dating for a month was very premature and may be contributing to the friction. People are often far too blasé about moving in together. Sure it's economical and it makes spending time together easy -- in fact it's guaranteed. But it means shaking up the tiny facets of your daily life, eliminating personal time & space, surrendering decisions about what to watch on TV, how often the bathroom should be cleaned, etc. To try to do that with someone you've only known for a month would be especially difficult. My guess would be: if you want the relationship to last, one of you needs to move out. If you can't afford to live on your own, get a roommate. Living together is a nebulous state at the best of times and if you're not both sure that your relationship is going to last (and how on earth could you be sure after only a month?) the fact that you've effectively thrown in your lots together will only be an added burden to your relationship, not a benefit. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 9, 2001 Share Posted December 9, 2001 I agree with you. You moved in together long before you knew him well enough to know whether or not you were compatible. I agree that this move accelerated your downfall. So if you were not meant to be together, may as well find out sooner than later. No, excessive arguing is not normal in relationships that are healthy. Learn proper conflict resolution techniques to work out the rough spots. If there are too many rough spots, why waste the time when there are so many others you wouldn't have to go through that with. Lessons learned. Link to post Share on other sites
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