frag111 Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 I am new to this site but have found myself in the situation where i have no body to talk to and dont really know whats going on. I met my boyfriend 5 years ago .....it wasnt love at first sight but i guess we grew to love each other. Any way 3 months later i fell pregnant with my little boy ...who is now 2. My boyfriend got into some trouble and when my son was 2 months old he went to prision for 7 months. In that 7 months i travelled evry weekend to let him see the baby and i stood by him even clearing his flat out when he went inside for him. His family dont help they are very 2 faced ...nice to your face slag you off behind your back. Any way on to the break up i last saw him on a saturday when he told me he loved me and we were planning our first family holiday. He was supposed to be coming to see his son the following sunday but never showed up. then he wouldnt answer his phone until he texted me on tuesday saying we needed to talk he then called me and said we were over he hadnt been happy for a while and he wants to be friends. The phone call lasted a total of 56 secs. What i dont understand is how it all changed so quickly one week hes fine the next hes not it annoys me that ive stood by him through alot and it just doesnt seem to matter. Now im scared about whats going to happen with my little boy although my ex didnt mention anything about him when he called. How do i cope with all this. Im 28 wanted more kids and stuff but now im the one who feels like a kid whos way out of my depth. Please if anyone can give me any advice it would be greatly appreciated. Frag111
Dadubwa Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 Okay...first off... It's not the end of the world...although the situation totally sucks, you still seem like a really great person, and a very good mother (bringing him to see his father every weekend and such). It might be better this way for your son. When he grows up he will understand and support the fact that it's not good to be with someone who might not love you the way you may have loved them. You WILL move on. If it's meant to be, he'll come back. If it's not, you can't force him to. You're angry/upset/feel used/maybe even hopeless now to say the least...what he did was WRONG. He was a father and he walked away with no warning. Not only that he got in trouble with the law, I know I wouldn't want to surround my child with a man who walked from a relationship with no warning, no real reason, and who doesn't seem so clean. Not only that you spoke roughly of his family being 2-faced....your child doesn't need that in his life, nor do you. You seem much better than that. You deserve a man much better than him. Just think about that the next time you're upset. That you're the better and bigger woman.
Author frag111 Posted July 19, 2006 Author Posted July 19, 2006 Thanks for your reply its greatly appreciated. 1 more question when he said i still want to be friends what does that mean is it to do with our child or with me ?
Dadubwa Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 I think his full view maybe has to do with his child. Obviously he still wants to keep an "open friendship" between you and him, but I believe it's mostly for the child, and for the fact of no hard feelings. So I'd say for both, maybe mostly for the child
Author frag111 Posted July 19, 2006 Author Posted July 19, 2006 Thanks for that ....i know i have to move on its just hard only happened tuesday just hard when you dont really know what happened but im gonna come back from this for sure. Thank you
Guest Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 When I went through a break-up it helped me to write out a list of all of their negative points and in the end why it would be difficult to spend a lifetime with them. His spending seven months in jail should be at the top of your list. He obviously has problems and would not be a good role-model for your son. Trust me, you can do better!
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