Guest Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Hello there, i really need some advice on this.. here's the thing. I've been in a LDR, for 3 and a half years now.. im 22 yrs old and so is he, we see each other like once or twice a month, since we both go to college, we study during weekdays, so we have weekends to be together, he thing is that i wants to get a job, like a part time thing to earn some money for summer VK, so i started to work in this restaurant, on weekends. Seeing this, of course the first person I asked about this, was my boyfriend, i always take in consideration his oppinons, specially since this was an issue that affected both of us, our relationship, cuz you know, me working on weekends now, and those are the days we see eachother.. so, we would have less time to be together, of course i told him i just wantes to work for about 2 months, 3 months tops.. the thing is he agreeded.. he told me i should really do it, and that we would still find a way to see eachother no matter what. I've been working for 2 weeks now.. and i only work with men!!.. guys my age, you know.. i have a really gerat time there, they are really nice and, somehow.. im a very flirty girl.. i've never ever cheated on my boyfriend, im love with him, so i could never do a thing like that.. but still, i just cant help it..nad there's this guy from work , that flirts back to me.. i know it's probably cuz, since they were only men, and suddenly i came in, they all act different now.. well am I doing wrong? is it wrong to flirt??? what do you think
Butterflying Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Flirting is okay as long as you aren't dating, exchanging personal information, and spending time one on one with them.
lil_angel Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 personally i dont ahve a problem w/ flirting at all. i can be a HUGE flirt. i know many guys find me attractive and i totally play it up. there's also a very close guy friend ive had for a number of years and we often have been known to flirt back and forth (i have no feelings for him, its all just joking around and stuff) however, i dont hide the fact that i do this from my boyfriend, and i dont lead guys on. if i sense theyre actually taking a serious interest in me other than casual flirting, and attempt to pursue that interest over time, i make sure to let them know i already have a boyfriend, and i stop any flirting with them. so dont hide it from your boyfriend, and dont lead anyone on, but other than that, no harm in flirting as long as it doesnt mean anything and doesnt lead to any intimacy or cheating.
chryssy83 Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 In my opinion, it's only okay if you would do the same thing in front of him. I'm big on maintaining that if my boyfriend were with me all the time when we're apart, he wouldn't object to any of my relationships or behaviors. I think that just goes to show that it truly is innocent. Here's the clincher, though...if the boyfriend thinks some things aren't appropriate and you think that they are (for example, you say you just have a flirtatious personality), then maybe you need to evaluate things. If your personality trait is just setting him up to be really unhappy, then you need to keep in mind the fact that this may become an issue, and sinc eyou can't change your personality, it's one you might not be able to resolve. Just something to think about.
magichands Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 In my opinion, it's only okay if you would do the same thing in front of him. I'm big on maintaining that if my boyfriend were with me all the time when we're apart, he wouldn't object to any of my relationships or behaviors. I think that just goes to show that it truly is innocent. I totally endorse what you're saying here. I think it sums up things perfectly. With the only caveat, of course, that you're probably going to get far fewer flirtatious signals coming in your direction when your boyfriend is right next to you, then when he isn't.
Sally00 Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 Flirting opens up new doors. You might end up liking the guy you're flirting with..... The guy could take the flirting as a "LET'S GO DO IT" sign (you know how the male mind works). Flirting = baaaaaaaaad.
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