Smung Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Ok, I have been in NC and avoiding all contact with the ex. The problem is that she works in an office that I need to go into in order to get my teeth fixed. I had transferred to another dentist but the dentist is on vacation and the back up it my old dentist which my ex works for. Ugg! So how should I handle this? Avoid talking at all costs? We are still on good speaking terms (well, until I went NC) but I am moving on and really don’t want interaction with her. To complicate matters, my new girlfriend knows about my ex and is not going to be happy. She is kind of jealous (I know red flag). I would avoid contact if at all possible but my tooth is hurting. Please help me decide how I should approach this!
Chinook Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Surely there aren't just two dentists in your area..? (Not sure how you guys do things there for dentistry).
bendit Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 treat her as you would someone you know, but not too well. keep things impersonal. don't get dragged into talking about the past, or what you are doing now. don't ask her questions! just be detached. Good luck. regards
Author Smung Posted July 18, 2006 Author Posted July 18, 2006 I wish there was another dentist I could go too, but my dentist is a special cosmetic dentist (special field). Benit, yes I agree... impersonal is the best way to go! I'll let you know how it goes.
fabulousgal Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 wow i can't believe the swami and all knowing didn't pound you for not going to a dentist outside a 500 mile radius of your ex!!!! Hee......Happy Tuesday everyone
GW7147 Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Hi Smung, I would hope your ex would display enough professionalism at her place of work where she would not get into any personal conversations with you. I think if she choses to confront you, you could simply say, "This isn't the time or place". Not to mention, it's tough to talk when the dentist has his fist in your mouth!! I would be cordial and keep it impersonal. Hope your tooth feels better. Regards, GW
alphamale Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 i'm sure there are more than two dentists were you live...
whichwayisup Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 but my dentist is a special cosmetic dentist (special field). There has to be more than two special cosmetic dentists. Do you live a really small town? If so, go to another Town close by. That's what I would do.
KittenMoon Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 I vote for the "sucking it up". I mean, is finding a new dentist, esp with a particular special field, worth it just to avoid you ex for a few min? She can't be that horrid to be worth navigating all the :lmao:doctors, insurance, etc crap!!!
bab Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Just be polite but reject any actual conversation. Continue NC afterwards. You are bound to run into her one day unprepared. Think of this as a practice run. Just be polite and professional. Also, it's bad news if your new gf can't accept that you had a past before her.
Author Smung Posted July 19, 2006 Author Posted July 19, 2006 Ok I went in late, and the my ex and her friend were sitting at the desk. I said hello to the work mate and from the corner of my eye could see my ex doing the. I'm madly looking around the room like I'm doing something! I was invited to go back and sit in one of the chairs and waited for my dentist to come in. I was able to not talk to her at all! I'm very happy about this. It proved to me that I am able to move on! Question: In my view if my ex truely wanted to keep a friendship alive, I would have thought see would at least say good morning. Because she did not have a two theories. 1) She is still feeling guilty about the breakup and because I am in NC with her she is unsure as to what is going on and how to act. 2) Not being polite shows that she has been trying to manipulate me and she now figures that she has recieved everything she can from me and there is no more need to communicate. Anyway, happy about the outcome and MOVING ON!
riobikini Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 re: Smung: " Question: In my view if my ex truely wanted to keep a friendship alive, I would have thought see would at least say good morning. Because she did not have a two theories. 1) She is still feeling guilty about the breakup and because I am in NC with her she is unsure as to what is going on and how to act. 2) Not being polite shows that she has been trying to manipulate me and she now figures that she has recieved everything she can from me and there is no more need to communicate. Anyway, happy about the outcome and MOVING ON!" Or it could be that she has *really* 'moved on', as well. In any case, it doesn't merit a whole lot of time for thought from you , anymore -now that you've *both* moved on. Right? (Smile) Take care. -Rio
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