Mollyanna Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 If you don't mind, here is my story as quickly as I can possibly relay it: Dated hot and heavy for 4 months. I have met all of his friends, practically live with him every weekend, talk on the phone everyday. I am too clingy because I met him just after I moved here and I only know 3 other people in Florida besides him and his friends. THEN my parents come into town. The night before they get here, he tells me he wants us to see other people, take some time apart and switch this back into First gear. I decide I can't live with waiting for him to call, so I put the power in my own hands and say we can't have any contact at all. We have this long beautiful emotional goodbye. And I tell him I am not sure we can ever be close again if he is out there F*ing every girl in town and expecting me to join the team in a few weeks. He says he needs the time to get his life together and that I need the same - that we have been too involved in our relationship to take care of our individual needs. He says he needs to be selfish and for us to just not date right now, but we can talk. He tells me I can call him anytime. I know I freaked him out and he needs space so I don't think talking on the phone is going to help at all. But I miss him already. It is only Day 2 and I can't wait for the NC to end. How long do I self-impose this time? I forbid him to contact me. I told him that it hurt too much to hope and wait for a guy to call. But me calling him everyday is probably what scared him away anyway. Sorry this is so scattered but I am very confused.
Outcast Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Some people seem to confuse 'dating' with 'transplanting another person onto your hip'. You need to spend time alone to learn how to be alone productively and not to glom tightly onto guys as though you're a barnacle. Pull the batteries out of your phone if you have to but leave him alone and work on yourself.
Author Mollyanna Posted July 18, 2006 Author Posted July 18, 2006 Everytime the phone rings, I hope it is him and then get disappointed when it isn't. I told him not to call, so I shouldn't be so surprised, right? I do know I was being too clingy now, but at least wish he would have given me a warning before just saying "I need some space, a break for a while". And he has put it up to me for when I can contact him. He is one the who needs the space. How do I know when it is OK to call? I understand I need time to work on myself but it would sure make it easier if I could look forward to some point in time.
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