AriaIncognito Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 So let's see. I'm almost 2 weeks no contact. We broke up 6/21, had contact on (and this is gonna be scary but i'll remember the dates) we talked on 6/25 i think, then on 7/1 and on 7/5. All our contact was online, nothing in person or on the phone. On 7/5 he told me that he thought we were "too similar" and that we wouldn't work out. He always told me i was a great person, that he had a great time with me, that i made him feel great, etc. However he felt our relationship wasn't one that he saw going down the aisle (we dated for 4 months but he's future thinking). Since he told me that on 7/5 I figured I'd just let it go. Stop contacting him. I know that there's nothing I can say to change his mind, that if he were to change it, it would be on his own. I've been trying to get out and keep busy and do things for myself. I've started working out. I've been trying to meet people by going out. However, I still find myself missing him. I'm to the point now, though, that i'm wondering if it's HIM or the idea that he represented. The relationship I so desperately want. The marriage I want. The love I want. Etc. I'm hoping that with more NC, I'll come to a conclusion on all that. However, amidst this all, I still feel so down. I miss him. He became such a good friend, a best friend even, over the time we were together. I felt like the yin to his yang. I felt such a connection with him. I just don't know how to let that go, and to believe I'll find it again. I'm not really sure what advice i'm seeking. I'm not really thinking about breaking NC, though I'm dying to talk to him. I know it won't get me anywhere. I just want to feel happy again. Ugh! I miss the happiness i felt, knowing I had found something really special. Jennifer
Teacher's Pet Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Jennifer, You know my situation, and it's almost identical to yours. I feel the same way about my ex, I miss her MADLY. For a while, I thought I was really getting over her, but the last several days, I've really slipped backwards. Tomorrow and Wednesday, we had tickets to see Bon Jovi (yes, BOTH shows!) I bought the Wednesday tickets, she bought the Tuesday ones. This past weekend I sold my tickets to a friend of mine. I'm not a big Bon Jovi fan, so I have no reason to go. I bought them for her as part of her birthday present (her birthday was 4 days before we broke up)..... I, too have had such a hard time coping, and now tomorrow night I'll be thinking about nothing but her being at the concert, having a great time...and I have no idea with whom. My instinct tells me she's going with a friend of her's, not a "new boyfriend", but since I don't know for sure, I KNOW I'm going to be dwelling on it all night. Of course, I'll be thinking about her on Wednesday night, too, but since I sold the tickets, I know she won't be at the show, either! Doesn't make me feel any better, but at least my friends that got my tickets will get something out of them. I wish I could just come over and give you a bearhug right now. I know we are both hurting. I'm here for ya, sweetie. I mean that. Your pal, -tp
burning 4 revenge Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 i see that both of you are in new jersy. hmmmmm.....
johan Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Yeah. You could rebound off of each other. A little cheap sex. Think about it.
Author AriaIncognito Posted July 18, 2006 Author Posted July 18, 2006 Thanks for the not so useful advice burning and johan. :-P TP and I have already met in person and are friends. Neither of us are gonna be using anyone else... Back to the topic. I feel crappier today. Woohoo. Probably because he was away for 4 days so I didn't wonder about if he was online and whatnot. Last night he was back online and of course that just stirs up all kinds of feelings in me. Who's he talking to? Did he find my replacement already? Why isn't he msging me? Does he even think of me? Etc. I know I should just remove him from my IM list. I just haven't gotten myself to that point yet. This sucks. On the bright side, I'm starting to hate him. Hate what he's doing to me (without him even knowing it). Hate how he's making me feel. People really are right when they say you should just pretend that your ex died. Not thinking there's a shot and not looking for them ever, will help. I just haven't gotten to that yet. I'm getting close though, as I can't stand feeling this way for much longer. Ugh. Another sh*tty day, coming up. Jennifer
Teacher's Pet Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Jennifer, I was just thinking the same thing. My ex is still on my IM list, in fact, she's online as we speak. It's so tempting to IM her... but what would I say? To be honest, I don't even KNOW how I really feel about her anymore. It's a combination of love, hate, frustration, curiousity, jealousy, and God knows what..... Tell you what. If you remove your ex from your IM list, I'll remove mine. -tp P.S. Thanks for the advice guys, but I don't think ANY woman will want to put up with me, the way I feel these days, and "a little cheap sex", something I don't do anyway, would just make me miss the "good times" with my ex even more. And trust me, we had plenty of it. I've very happy with making new friends and realizing that I DO matter to people!
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