PandorasBox Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Is there such a thing as a safe friendship? Meaning if there is married man and a married woman, that are friends, can they be just that? Nothing more nothing less? My sister recently confided in me, (shes married) that she has a friend (male who is married) and they have been friends for about 3 years now. He has never said anything out of the way to her, or done anything nor has she. They are friends and thats it. Her home life with her husband seems fine and she doesn't hang out with this friend much but on an occassion. I have asked her if her husband knows about this, she has told me yes he does and he doesn't seem to think much about it, she said its called trust and she hasn't done anything to make him worried otherwise. Here is the kicker about her married male friend. He is her Pyschcologist! She says she doesn't know if his wife knows when they talk, becasue its usally at his office for her appointments, and with confindentailty I doubt he tells his wife of his pateints or when he has an appointment with someone. She says they talk about whatever problems she is having but they also talk about other things as well, just life in general. She did say that he told her before that out of all the people he talks with she is the one he has talked to the most, and shared things with her as in usuing examples for his life about things etc. It used to be that when she first started going to him to talk, he would call her frquently and check on her to see how she was or just to chat. Then after awhile that came to a halt. He didn't call anymore. She will call him occassionaly if she needs to speak to him about something. IMO, I think maybe he felt he got caught up a little to much in her life, and relaized what he was doing, and got himself back on track. Which is a good thing. She said she thinks of him as her "safe friend" I guess meaning she doesn't feel threatned by him to cross the line? And that even though he is her friend she feels thats all there is and that he wouldn't do anything to jeapordize that. So do others feel there can be a "safe friendship" between men and woman?
Maria33 Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 I would say yes. I was friends with a man that I worked with for several years, nothing else. We tried to keep it professional even though we became good friends. We never spoke about the troubles we were having with our spouses though. He loved his wife very much and I knew that. We were friends like brother and a sister would be. The trouble starts if you are both loney and having trouble at home. Maybe you're thinking about leaving anyway. This can get very tricky. I would say that if their relationships with their spouses are okay, they should be able to be just friends. They should also have some boundaries set to keep things from getting to close.
norajane Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Yes, of course you can have a platonic relationship between men and women. However, the big red flag I see here is the he is her doctor. There are very strict rules about doctor/patient relationships...I realize they haven't crossed the line, but it's not a good idea to be friends with your therapist.
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