Blind Illusion Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Before I came to these boards, I thought that most of the extramarital activities that go on, were of two married people involved with each other, but married to other people. That was my situation, anyhow. I see now that there are all kind of variations. Single women involved with a MM seem to be just as common. (although I don't see many posts about a single man involved with a MW) I know the obvious common denominator-that cheating is cheating. Aside from that, I am curious what people think is the difference (if any) when both parties to an affair are married? Are the dynamics different? Is the affair different? Does the relationship go on longer, are certain things more acceptable, in terms of the affair partners, is it easier/more difficult to end, etc?
stillafool Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 The difference is 2 people are being betrayed, lied to and cheated on rather than 1. Basically it is double the pain and danger.
scarletletter Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 If both parties are married it seems to be a mutual secret and therefore I guess they feel safer. I think the safe feeling comes from not having the fear that the single party will end of telling the spouse because he/she is fed up with being the other woman/man. I really don't know if there is any benefit to either situation. Both situations are dealing with pain and emptyness of not having the one you really love with you at all times. Just my thoughts.
Author Blind Illusion Posted July 18, 2006 Author Posted July 18, 2006 I guess, Scarlett, you are right about it seeming "safer" . I also used to always wonder if expectations were less on the other affair partner but, over time, I see, the feelings grow just as strongly. (as do desire & expectations, sometimes as well)
makerm4me Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 In my a we are both m. It does seem safer. We both know we go home to others, and that we both have other lives. Does it last longer, I have no clue about that. The dynamics would seem different to me in that there is not one person, single, wanting more of a future with the attached partner, Becuase you both understand and know there is no future. But it is still cheating and it still has its hurts.
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