Jakris Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 How well does no contact work in terms of trying to get back together with your ex? My ex fiance and I broke up 5 weeks ago. Every time I would tell her how much I really wanted to try to work things out and get back together and how much I really loved her it just didn't go anywhere with her and was unsuccessful. She is adamant about not getting together again but has given me many mixed signals. When I stopped calling her altogether after we had a serious discussion on the phone and how she told me that things will probably never be good between us (we argued A LOT!) and that she just can't try working things out with me then I just decided that I can't continue to pour my heart out to her with nothing in return and lose my dignity. As soon as I stopped calling she has been making a couple of calls to me for obviously stupid reasons. It seems to me as if by me not calling her anymore that it may have made an impression on her that she may in fact lose me if she's not really 100% sure on this. Problem is, is that a lot of the damage has been done and I think she knows that, which will make the idea of ironing this out a difficult one to foresee as "doable" for her. I think that's one of the underlying reasons she's not so quick to try to get back together with me. She's already done the damage by making me out to be the bad guy with her family and friends and if she gets back with me they will have no respect for her and support her if ever she needs them... at least I'm pretty sure that's what she's probably thinking. That being said, how can I use this "no contact" tactic to my advantage. In other words, knowing when it's appropriate to utilize it and when it's not. Because I don't want it to backfire on me. I'm afraid that if I give it too much time in between our last conversation that it might make it easier on her to move on. I KNOW she still loves me but she makes a good point that our relationship was very hard to live with. I even felt that way myself. But I didn't want to end us over it. If anything we could work on it together. But she's very firm on not getting back. But the thing is, is that when I stopped calling her, she's been calling me a lot more now and for obvious reasons. Is there any hope that this tactic can bring her to miss me and think things through clearly by giving her the time and "space" she needs to make her mind up? And if so, which ways should I utilize this strategy so that I pull it off? All I'm looking for here is to use no contact as a way to get her to "feel the love" again and get her to a point where we can start to rebuild this relationship and think about it, not just throw the thought of it out the window. That's all, nothing more nothing less. I can take it from there . Any advice and shared experience with doing this is greatly appreciated.
jorgeajorge73 Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Don't beat yourself over the lost of this relationship. You did your part in calling her and trying to work things out. Now it's up to her as far as were she wants it to go. We as men know that women are difficult to understand. It seems that no matter what we do, sometimes it's never good enough. Stand back, let her come you. All you can do is reflect on the relationship and pinpoint the things that went wrong. Work on those things if you happen to get togther again and/or don't make the same mistakes on the next. Avoid contact, live your life as if though she moved on. Do your thing, if she comes back great, if not, at least you know that your living life. It's time for you to the things that you've been putting off. This way, you at least keep yourself occupied. Keep a journal on how you feel and everytime that you think of her, this way you can express that to her when she re-enters your life. She'll appreciate that.
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