Guest Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 I am a happily married man in the medical profession with 3 daughters and a loving wife. I came here from the fitness forum as a guest because I can see from what I have read that the women here only accept other's opinions who are or have been in the same emotional state as themselves. You are right about coming here for support, you are definately getting it, but only from those who are telling you what you want to hear and agree with your opinions. Yes my opinions may sound harsh and forward but my wife agrees with me that I have made some valid points. You are unable to answer to any of my questions because your mind is so fogged by your negative emotions towards your husband. You automatically think that any opinion other than your own or those who agree with you is from someone who has been the OW. My wife and I have many friends from high school that have gone through similar situations and it is the same story almost every time, the ex-wife tries bitterly to do anything she can to prove that the ex-husband is an unfit father or otherwise. They some how think that court is like the day-time court programs where they can stand up and tell their whole story. It rarely ever happens that way. You go, your lawyer gives your case and visa versa, the judge makes a decision and it is done. I have seen many times when the ex-wife continues to try and cause problems and dad decides he can't take it anymore and voluntarily drifts from the picture, then the ex-wife says "he just abandoned you" The truth is, I don't know you or your ex, (and I can say ex because he is your ex-lover isn't he? ) and he may be the biggest a hole ever, but from countless experiences I have seen among friends, it is usually the same story in the end. You shouldn't view my opinions as negative, just from an outsider who is able to see over the box. If you get support here from others like you, and it helps you that is great, but keep in mind that opening your mind to any and all opinions and the ability to see others opinions without being judgemental is called counter-arguments and is important for any big decisions being made. Your made quite a contradictory statement in your first thread here when you said "it kills me to think of my son with other women", then you state you have fully accepted the other woman to be in his life??
Author sickinside Posted July 20, 2006 Author Posted July 20, 2006 Guest, Is that what you do at night, get off on reading others peoples hardships and problems? Why don't you take your own advice and get off this website and get a life. You are a nasty piece of work.
Ladyjane14 Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 I am a happily married man in the medical profession with 3 daughters and a loving wife. I came here from the fitness forum as a guest because I can see from what I have read that the women here only accept other's opinions who are or have been in the same emotional state as themselves. You are right about coming here for support, you are definately getting it, but only from those who are telling you what you want to hear and agree with your opinions. It might be nice if you had a clue as to what you're talking about before you start making assumptions, Guest. Your assumption that all the women who have posted here are in "the same emotional state" is far from the mark. Speaking for myself, I'm currently a happily married woman, married to the same man for well over twenty years. I'm also a terrific mom.... who ALWAYS has her children's health and well-being foremost in mind. I find it difficult to imagine that a father of three daughters can't empathize with the OP's viewpoint. I think it would probably be unlikely that if you were in her postition you'd have no problem with your little girls sleeping over at a strange man's house.
whichwayisup Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t91129/ Guest, maybe go read her other thread before jumping to all sorts of conclusions and thinking she's out for blood. The main issue I see is a Mother, concerned for their child. Doesn't take a brain surgeon to find out that ANY child of divorce, or even separation, shouldn't be exposed to their parent's new partners. If I were in her shoes, I would be very upset finding out that OUR child had slept in a bed with the OW. It just isn't right! Even if they didn't have sex, or fooled around, it STILL isn't cool letting a child that isn't yours sleep in the same bed. You don't understand. LJ is right. Imagine, one of your daughters sleeping in the bed of another man and your exwife (if you two had split up and so soon too), you honestly would say you wouldn't feel that it's just WRONG to do??? Take the time to understand the OP point of view, read ALL the threads, instead of this one.
Guest Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 Generally speaking "most" of the people here are in some kind of emotional turmoil, or were at some point in time in their life. Also this woman is not a stranger, she has been in this child's life for some time now. Of course I would be upset if my wife left me for another man and they were staying at his house, but what could I do? I am sure I would react as many have here, but in the end what is really going to be the outcome? I would not be able to change the outcome. I would have to get to know the OM and try and make peace even though I would be biting my tongue. If you could somehow find it in your heart to forgive your husband for this infidelity and take some of this weight off your shoulders , would you? May I suggest you check out this book on cd called Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, but most importantly try The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, try listening to these in peace and quiet over and over until you understand the content. I can assure you that the weight will slowly subside. I will not bother you with anymore of my opinions because I know you have hard time with an outsider's point of view.
whichwayisup Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 Guest, now that was useful and nice information. Good post reply. Respectful.
Guest Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 Guest, My beef with you is not your opinion but your assumptions. My son has only known this women for 2 months. In those 2 months he has only spent six days with her. My H only takes my son every other weekend. Your other comments about his alcoholism were very hurtful as well. You made it sound like I got what I deserved. I have to live everyday with the fact the my childs father is an addict. So you coming here being so hurtful is not why I use this forum. I respect everyones opinions though I don't have to agree with them. You are in the medical proffession and may I say you have no bedside manner.
Ladyjane14 Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 Guest, now that was useful and nice information. Good post reply. Respectful. You're so nice, WWIU ... much more so than I. I found that post to still be a bit condescending. As if Sickinside weren't capable of reading a book to begin with, rather she should listen to it over and over until comprehension finally managed to dawn.
Author sickinside Posted July 20, 2006 Author Posted July 20, 2006 Somehow I got logged off with my last post, so not to confuse anyone the last guest post was mine. Thank you my friends for being so supportive.
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