horsekiss Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 UGGGGGGGG i thought i was doing so much better but today it hit miss him like crazy doing the no contact thing now 4 months today the first two months were awful-i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy couldnt eat sleep lost 15 pounds was with with him for nine years- but when push came to shove when it was time to move forward-to a commitment that i wanted for years-when pinned in the corner- he fled! couldnt do it i guess he is doing ok you wonder guys and girls grieve relationship losses so differently i guess i loved hard and i grieve hard!
jorgeajorge73 Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 I was with my first girlfriend for almost 10 years. I thought we were going to get married and all. Towards the last year of our relationship she began to change in the manner that she became highly critical of me. She would complain about the things that I would do wrong. I only took it, I didn't know how to respond. We drifted apart and she happened to get involved with someone else. Six month after we broke up, she got engaged. Last I heard, she's due in a few months. After the break up, it was very hard to deal with, I found myself to be alone after spending so much time and years with just one person. It really hit me about a year after our break up. What was I to do? I began occuping myself and making friends. In your situation, it seems that he was not wanting to committ in a longterm relationship, marriage. When people spend to many years together and marriage is not discussed, then it's just a waste of time. Now you have to start all over, you need to get know yourself again and explore the unknown. You will be scared but you have total control. I'm 33, freshly off a relationship. I thought I was going to be married and have a family by the time I was 30. Once again, I have to start all over. I've learned alot from my past two relationships. I'm in full control of my future. When it comes to dating, I'm straight forward. I don't like to play games and I'm looking for a long term committment, I simply state. I'm not going to settle just for anyone. The time has come for you to move on. If your waiting for that phone call, you're just wasting your time. Let him go and move on with your life. Life is to short, seek and seek wisely....
2020vision Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 UGGGGGGGG i thought i was doing so much better but today it hit miss him like crazy doing the no contact thing now 4 months today the first two months were awful-i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy couldnt eat sleep lost 15 pounds was with with him for nine years- but when push came to shove when it was time to move forward-to a commitment that i wanted for years-when pinned in the corner- he fled! couldnt do it i guess he is doing ok you wonder guys and girls grieve relationship losses so differently i guess i loved hard and i grieve hard! This is very very normal to do this. I had a breakdown the other day after several months of NC. And 10 months total apart from my ex. You are absolutely doing the right thing with NC. It is very hard to continue NC sometimes,but it is necessary to heal. Think of it this way, at least there are no new hurts that you are obsessing over. With enough time, the memories you are thinking about will fade. Sometimes you will have a delayed reaction, but it is okay. It is necessary to hurt to heal. Hang in there and good luck. Best Wishes, 2020
konfused Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Hi, I'm not sure how old you are or if this is your first major breakup, but here is something that helped me accept the whole situation. Initially, after my breakup, I kept waiting for my psyche to return to where it was before the relationship. Once I realized that I would never return to that innocent state, things slowly got better. We are changed people and must accept that. The greatest thing about first loves is the ignorance that they can ever end/I]
UT_longhorn Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 horsekiss..normal. been there. done that. and esp with a 9 year relationship, you've got a while to go. that roller coaster thing that they always talk about...well ur right there girl. NC for months...great for you. keep pushing along. it will only help you. keep posting. keep reading. go out..have fun. the world is yours. you can do anything and everything you want. do it.
loveinlife Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 Its good what you have done so far. Keep up the great work. Keeping in connection with an ex is really not good. Its been a year since I broke up with my ex. She still calls me to talk to me. Each time she does that I get my break down. Currently trying to do what you are doing, =)
tearsandfears Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 I feel for you horsekiss. A long time to be together no doubt. I knew my ex for around 5 years and it's four months of nc and most days I miss her like the day she stopped talking to me. I was almost going to call and beg her forgiveness the other day even though I basically did nothing wrong. It's not gonna be easy but I'm am sure the pain will gradually subside with time. Clearing the house of lil reminders will help if you haven't done that already. I'm so bad even yahoo messenger reminds me of her. Seriously though I suspect it's gonna take 6 month's to a year for you to get back to normal but it'll happen. Take it one day at a time.
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