With her to make her happy, not because i love her

[thisisarandomperson]

Ok i been in this LDR for quite a few months now. Lately im just not feeling like i love her or feel that i am really into her at all. Im mainly only with her to make her happy because her life is pretty rough at the moment. We're both 17 and im moving even further away in september to go to uni.

 

She is still moody, moany and falls asleep on me every night whilst we are texting. She said she would change when i wanted to split up with her but she has just gone back to the way she has was. She has fallen asleep on me every night since then (she used to do it then stopped doing it for a while) and she used to say sorry in the morning. For the past 3 days she hasnt said sorry for falling asleep for the past 3 nights. Do you think it is silly of me to be angry because she falls asleep on me whilst we are texting? I think it is rude and not very considerate. She says that people think it is stupid that i get angry about her falling asleep on me every night. I don't have a go at her in the morning for it (maybe i should) but i sometimes tell her that it does annoy me.

 

I just feel like she is taking me for granted and thinks that no matter what she does i would always be there for her. Which i guess is true. I feel like i am responsible for her and that if i leave her then something bad might happen to her. She has treated me like crap sometimes and she is just so simple minded sometimes. I like intelligent people but she is afraid of being intelligent because she doesn't want to be branded a geek. Im worried that at uni i would still be stuck with her (and being unhappy with it) while i miss out on trying to find someone that may be right for me. But then again if i dump her now i might not find anyone at uni.

 

Please let me know what you think of all this, i need someone to talk to about this

[superconductor]

Lemme get this straight: You don't really love her because she's moody, whiny, rude and treats you like crap, but you stay in contact with her because it makes her happy.

 

Help me if I'm wrong here, but does someone who's moody, whiny, rude and treats you like crap sound like they're happy with their life?

 

If you want her to change, there's only one thing to do: marry her. Women generally change after they get married (although it's usually not for the better).

 

I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.

[Tony T]

You are not responsible for anybody but yourself.

 

Her falling asleep is not the problem. You are a reasonable person and you have to understand that when people are totally exhausted they fall asleep. Why would you want to keep a dead tired person up in order to chat with you??? Certainly you are more considerate than that.

 

Get rid of this chick and find somebody you are more compatible with, including waking hours.

[The slayer]

I reckon you are probably not making her happy any way.

 

I can't see that you really have much of a relationship here to save, If you fear you might hurt her, why dont you just slowly withdraw, reduce the number of texts you send, make them less personal and eventually just stop.

[thisisarandomperson]

I do say to her that she should go to bed (and say night) when she is tired instead of texting me but she never does. I can't imagine her being that tired because she is on her summer holidays and is at home most of the day. Im not annoyed with her going to sleep, im annoyed that she does in during mid-conversation and doesn't even bother saying goodnight.

 

She says she is happy with me and doesn't want to lose me. Thats what she says everytime i try and split up with her.

[superconductor]

She says she is happy with me and doesn't want to lose me. Thats what she says everytime i try and split up with her.

You do realize, of course, that this is classic passive-aggressive behaviour, don't you? It's a hamfisted attempt at guilt inducement to get you to bend to her will.

 

Hey, if you're ok with being maniuplated like that, then by all means stay with her. But this is going to get a lot worse before it gets better, so I humbly suggest that you grow a pair and end this relationship, with full NC, immediately. Like, before sundown today.