Diver012 Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 One of the things I am supposed to do is share some early childhood experiences that were traumatic to me. The purpose of this is not to blame, rather than to name some of the reasons I feel the need to hide my true self. SO here goes.... I choose to share these experiences with the folks at LS... I remember once when I was a child, My family went to a department store because my father wanted to buy a good camera. I remember getting yelled at because I kept touching the camera. He just sat there and screamed at me because I wanted to see it. I remember getting so angry at him. I was very upset that he did that in the middle of the department store. I felt belittled, like I couldn’t do anything right. I was always getting screamed at because of my grades. I never had good enough grades. This is another time I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. My father would usually start off by saying he wasn’t going to yell and scream, but within a few minutes he would be screaming at the top of his lungs. I remember another time when I got into a fight with my sister over the car. I was pissed because she was going to try and trash it because she wanted a new one, I had just started to drive and liked the car. My father slapped me, I don’t remember why, but I was so incredibly angry. I remember going upstairs & stabbing my stereo out of anger, to my mothers horror. My mother never seemed to have the strength to stand up for my sister and I. She usually just sat there and watched everything happen. She let my father run over us time and time again. There were moments she tried, but usually she sat there in silence.
superconductor Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 Uh... I don't want to burst your balloon here, but this kind of thing is extremely common. I cannot think of anyone I know personally that hasn't had similar experiences. I hope, for the sake of yourself and your parents, that you've forgiven them and moved on. We all make mistakes, and we all end up regretting them in some form. After all, they're people too...
The slayer Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 Sorry to hear about these experiences Diver. My father used to get angry all the time, I felt as if I could do nothing right. As I have grown up I think this has caused me to both withdraw into myself for fear of getting things wrong and also develop a tendency to assume that everything that does go wrong around me must be my fault. What helped me get over this was learning to see why I felt like that and to see my father as a person, understand more about where he was coming from, and build a valuable relationsip with him as an adult. My father had therapy when I was in my teens and we are very close now. I think it's a really good idea to explore your experiences without allocating any blame, it truly does help you to overcome them. I wish you all the best.
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