Sisty Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 I have not seen or heard from the man who abruptly DUMPED me over 2 months ago. NC has been the rule for me but yet after all this time knowing what I know now it was for the best.....however things trigger memories and I am still dealing with it at times. I wrote him a two page letter right after the breakup but did not send it. Just decided to keep with the NC theory and yet found the writing of my thoughts etc very theraputic. Today I could not help myself. Today is his birthday and I remember this day from last year vividly. It was a great day....so I wrote him a note.. reworded, reread, and got a 2 page letter into 3 paragraphs...amazing !!! I just had to let him know how I felt about the breakup. Just had to. Some said not to contact him , others said I should so he knows how I felt by the way he did etc and also that he has some things of mine I want back.........and I think I really needed the closure....I left it open for him to respond and tell me why or not to respond at all...either/or.....I feel so much better and I think now I can really move on...whewwwwwwwwwww...any comments??????? Thanks !!
Diver012 Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 I dont think what you did was bad, if it helped you, and it was a release, then good for you. Get it off your chest and move on....
Chinook Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 Um, I don't think what you did is bad. I've done it myself. But mine was a 10 year relationship ending rather than dating. But that said, you need to be honest with yourself... this amount of time.. sending a note just opens the wound and pokes a stick in it.. like "hey, does this still really hurt?" I really hope that he doesn't contact you back because you may find that yes, in fact it does, still really hurt. It doesn't matter what you feel or think about the breakup - the sad fact is, when they have moved on, they're not really interested anyways. They may say they are, they may say they care and they're upset at how much they hurt you and they still love you... but the fact still stare you in the face that they moved on. Simple really when you think about it. It's that one thing which prevents me writing my ex-partner. He simply doesn't give a crap. Out of sight, out of mind. Once my home equity is sorted out and I don't HAVE TO talk with him, will be a great day for me because NC is going to help me to heal. I don't want him back now. I don't care about the break-up. All I care about right now, is not hurting and the only way to NOT hurt is to go complete NC. He cried yesterday when I told him this. He started spouting some thing about how his current girlfriend gets on great with her ex and they even went out to dinner together. Me...? I spy a fly in his perfect picture. Tough luck. It's a pity I won't be around to help him pick up the pieces when the sh*t hits the fan.
Author Sisty Posted July 16, 2006 Author Posted July 16, 2006 Thanks for the comments....I agree with all of them....my situation is certainly different...not as much time invested as some but nevertheless the abruptness of the break was a total shock and I hurt for some time over it but I know he is not coming back and I do not want him to. Even though the NC helped during the past few weeks ... I just really needed to get things off my chest to speak..to finalize it and move on. I do not expect a reply and know there will not be one knowing him as I do...and its ok....whats done is done and now I am ready for the next adventure....travel and a puppy... and being on my own....much easier and less stressful.....thanks again for the comments.....
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