Guest Posted July 15, 2006 Posted July 15, 2006 I don't want to have sex with my bf of 5yrs. I love him but his penis is just to big. It's not injoyable, quite painful actually. He is getting very frustrated with my excuses. I don't know how longer I keep telling him I have a head ache or on my period as an excuse. I offer hand jobs, blow jobs and he happily accepts but then wants to proceed to vaginal intercourse. I tell him it hurts during sex and days after but he doesn't want to hear it. I lay in pain and hope its over quickly. He thinks I don't love him or I don't find him actractive. Thats not it at all, it just too painful. I do feel him slipping away from me emotionally. He doesn't ask or initate sex anymore its been since march since we have been itimate. We just retire to our own side of the bed and go to sleep. I feel bad in away but relieved at the same time. I suspect he may have a ow but, I am not upset about that prospect if he does then I won't feel as bad. I am willing to turn a blind eye so he can be satisfied. My problm is I want satifaction too. I bought a dildo but its not doing it for me- I need a man. Is this set up a bad idea. Him having an ow and me having OM just for sex. I already have a man lined up and he is foaming at the mouth waiting for the green light but I don't know yet. What are yall think?
magichands Posted July 15, 2006 Posted July 15, 2006 Have you been "warmed up" first? Do you understand what I mean by that? And does HE understand what I mean by that?!
lindya Posted July 15, 2006 Posted July 15, 2006 I I tell him it hurts during sex and days after but he doesn't want to hear it. Do you use plenty of lube? When you say it hurts, is that due to length or width? Bear in mind that you're designed to pop a baby out of there, I wonder if the problem really does relate to his size...or whether you're incompatible on a more emotional level. As an aside, you might want to get some medical advice to check that you aren't suffering from any urinary tract infections that would make sex painful. Usually any indications that something is painful for you will stop a guy - sadists apart - in his tracks. It sounds as if your bf is blocking out this whole situation and hoping it'll just go away. The OW and OM setup you have in mind didn't march into my mind heralded by trumpets, flags and proclamations of "best idea ever." Though some deny it hotly, most people (unless they're complete robots) will form a certain degree of emotional attachment to someone they're regularly having sex with...so this sex quadrangle you have in mind is liable to exacerbate problems between you and your boyfriend, and create drama and hassle for two more people in the process. You're looking for some way of bypassing the need for both of you to sit down and talk openly about this, but I don't see that it's possible. This is a situation that's jeopardising the future of your relationship, and now you're mooting solutions that will almost certainly kill it off. The relationship has no chance of working unless the two of you can find the courage to sit down and honestly address this problem. You can't force your boyfriend to discuss it, of course, but I can't see how you'll work this one out without some high level, absolutely honest communication.
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 Having sex used to hurt me sometimes with my ex, so he used to perform oral sex on me till i came and then it didn't hurt as much - try that....its an excuse for it at least hehe
Recommended Posts