Dataniel Posted July 15, 2006 Posted July 15, 2006 Long story short: My girlfriend had sex with my best friend.... what should I do? Real Story: We've been dating off and on for almost 3 years now. Last night we opened up to eachother and she told me she has had sex with 3 people, including someone I know very well, since we started dating. She never cheated on me, she got with these people on one of the many week+ long break-ups we've had. It was hard for me to get her to tell me who the person was, but I had to find out. She said they only did it once and swore never to tell a soul. Turns out, the person is my very best friend. This had happened about a year ago, she said. I can't sleep now. I can't go about the days without thinking about her having sex with other people let alone my friend. It kills me so much, I can't even breathe! Please help me, I don't know what to do. Thank you.
AwkwardMan Posted July 15, 2006 Posted July 15, 2006 Long story short: My girlfriend had sex with my best friend.... what should I do? Real Story: We've been dating off and on for almost 3 years now. Last night we opened up to eachother and she told me she has had sex with 3 people, including someone I know very well, since we started dating. She never cheated on me, she got with these people on one of the many week+ long break-ups we've had. It was hard for me to get her to tell me who the person was, but I had to find out. She said they only did it once and swore never to tell a soul. Turns out, the person is my very best friend. This had happened about a year ago, she said. I can't sleep now. I can't go about the days without thinking about her having sex with other people let alone my friend. It kills me so much, I can't even breathe! Please help me, I don't know what to do. Thank you. Don't mention anything to your friend and move on with your life.
Tony T Posted July 15, 2006 Posted July 15, 2006 You need to dump this gal. There is something seriously wrong with a woman who jumps in the sack with another man immediately after temporary break ups with you. It's a sign of a veangeful woman, an insecure woman, a careless woman, etc. and you really don't need any of that. In my book, a woman who runs out and screws another guy when she's having a problem with you is a taco short of a combination platter. (I am aware that this is commonly called a grudge fxxk, but it's still very immature and a sign of an angry or unstable person.) Good luck...there are so many fish in the sea!
avellana Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 Sorry. That's a tough one to hear, but now you know. What you describe is one of the problems with revolving door relationships. People cope in different ways during intermission. Be it healthy or not, booty bingers aren’t uncommon. I don’t think the female is the only one to blame & we don't know that she was vengeful in sleeping with your ex-immature & stupid, yes. I would seriously have to question a friend that slept with my ex. It’s a bad relationship boundary to cross, and problematic in every sense. It’s obvious that neither respects your friendship. I would end the drama & dump them both.
Shane361 Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 You never sleep with your friends ex..thats a man rule I do believe. Also...she slept with your best friend...thats sick. Kick both to the curb and move on-Shane
tikigods Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 you need to break up with her, if she moves to one guy after another after you break up that means that she is using you just for comfort. Plus its your best friend not much of a classy girl
amerikajin Posted July 16, 2006 Posted July 16, 2006 My girlfriend had sex with my best friend.... what should I do? If it were me, I'd probably move on. She never cheated on me, she got with these people on one of the many week+ long break-ups we've had. That's more of a technicality, though. Okay, so you guys weren't officially dating, but think about the pattern of behavior here. She breaks up with you (and I'm assuming that's how it works, right), then she goes out and has sex with some guy behind your back. And if she gets caught, well then she can always say 'Hey, we weren't dating'. Which while technically true has to make you really wonder about the nature of your relationship with her. I think she breaks up with you when it's convenient for her. Or if it's you who's doing the breaking, then she's screwing people to satisfy her ego, and maybe there's even an element of revenge involved. Is this the kind of girl you want to be dating? I think that's why I rarely (almost never) go back to someone once I've broken up with them or vice versa. Once you lose that feeling, it's almost impossible to get it back, and usually you lost the feeling for a reason. There are cases of legitimate misunderstandings, and in that situation I might be willing to give it another go, but generally that's not the case. I think the fact that you've broken up with each other multiple times is telling. I don't think you've got a very solid foundation, and I think that's the real reason you should break up with her. Her bonking your best friend is a symptom, not the disease. I think you also need to consider whether or not your best friend is really even just a friend at all. I mean come on...he bonks your girl and then keeps it a secret all this time. I wouldn't talk to that bum ever again.
corny 1 Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Long story short: My girlfriend had sex with my best friend.... what should I do? Real Story: We've been dating off and on for almost 3 years now. Last night we opened up to eachother and she told me she has had sex with 3 people, including someone I know very well, since we started dating. She never cheated on me, she got with these people on one of the many week+ long break-ups we've had. It was hard for me to get her to tell me who the person was, but I had to find out. She said they only did it once and swore never to tell a soul. Turns out, the person is my very best friend. This had happened about a year ago, she said. I can't sleep now. I can't go about the days without thinking about her having sex with other people let alone my friend. It kills me so much, I can't even breathe! Please help me, I don't know what to do. Thank you. Move on with your life. If this girl does not have enough respect to do the right thing then she is not that into you. Especially since it was with your best friend. Find yourself a new girlfriend and a new friend as well. There is no excuse for a person to treat you like that. Move on.
Cecelius Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Worse than the fact that they did it, is that it's a dirty little secret they've been keeping from you for all this time. How long after that event did you and she hook up again? Wow, that's just gross.
j.carsey Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Yeah you should break up with her. Probably keep the dude friend though, what's the saying, bro's before ho's? Had an on and off again thing like that with my (now) ex girlfriend. Once I heard that during the interlude she had been sleeping with _multiple_ guys I knew it was over. Now that she is an ex, but we are still on talking terms, I actually don't mind that she is sleeping with other guys. Because we're no longer together, that's the difference The pain you feel is because she was sleeping with someone else while you were still in a relationship. That's hurtful, and should be the end
Author Dataniel Posted July 22, 2006 Author Posted July 22, 2006 An update to my situation: She has been on vacation across the US for a few days now. We've talked every day. The other night she called me up drunk as heck. She was very upset and kept saying how much of a horrable person she is for doing what she did to me (the whole bestfriend thing). I can tell she's very sorry for doing what she did so I officially forgave her. These recent events have brought us much closer and I'm very happy with where our relationship is going right now, but there's only one problem left.... what about the bestfriend? I chilled with him once since she told me. Actually, I was hanging out with his girlfriend and he just had to show up. Knowing what I know now, it felt like he was trying to keep his g/f and I apart so what he did to me wouldn't happen to him. I've done alot of thinking about my bestfriend and have come to the conclusion that he's a horrable bestfriend, and no it's not only becauce he slept with my girlfriend. I feel like I need to do something about him. I promiced my girl that I wouldn't say anything about her telling me they had sex, but then again, I feel like I... let him sleep with her which is not cool.
ridingthebulls Posted July 22, 2006 Posted July 22, 2006 Yeah you should break up with her. Probably keep the dude friend though, what's the saying, bro's before ho's? Oh please.. if there was any type of respect there his FRIEND/BRO would have thought that way and pushed the girl away. Instead he ****ed her. Both relationships are toast now.
nips5050 Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 An update to my situation: She has been on vacation across the US for a few days now. We've talked every day. The other night she called me up drunk as heck. She was very upset and kept saying how much of a horrable person she is for doing what she did to me (the whole bestfriend thing). I can tell she's very sorry for doing what she did so I officially forgave her. These recent events have brought us much closer and I'm very happy with where our relationship is going right now, but there's only one problem left.... what about the bestfriend? I chilled with him once since she told me. Actually, I was hanging out with his girlfriend and he just had to show up. Knowing what I know now, it felt like he was trying to keep his g/f and I apart so what he did to me wouldn't happen to him. I've done alot of thinking about my bestfriend and have come to the conclusion that he's a horrable bestfriend, and no it's not only becauce he slept with my girlfriend. I feel like I need to do something about him. I promiced my girl that I wouldn't say anything about her telling me they had sex, but then again, I feel like I... let him sleep with her which is not cool. I think you need to confront your best friend. And i think you need to sit your g/f down and tell her why cuz you HAVE to confront him. I don't think you need to dump your g/f like everyone is saying - we all make mistakes and I KNOW That most people on here (including those who told you to dump her) have messed up bad and wanted someone to forgive us...why shouldn't you? Altho I wonder how much you trust her now? Has that been affected? Anyway, yeah, you need to talk to your bf. For your sake and his...he needs to know that what he did was not okay!! The fact that he is your b/f and hasn't ever brought it up is shady...does he have a conscience??
Author Dataniel Posted July 23, 2006 Author Posted July 23, 2006 Altho I wonder how much you trust her now? Has that been affected? Kind of, but not really because she didn't actually cheat on me. If she had cheated on me this would be a totally different story.
Trashed Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 i sayy... f* both of them.. they are both pricks... i dont put up with bull**** like that.. and you dont deserve it.
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