justice Posted July 15, 2006 Posted July 15, 2006 I wanted to thank all of you who replied, the advice was well given and very much appreciated by me. The OW showed up at our place last night and all hell broke loose. She was screaming and crying and reminded me very much of a little kid throwing a tantrum. I was going to beat her ass but H stopped me. Instead, we called the cops because of our restraining orders. She was screaming at me and calling me names and blaming me for everything. Like I'm the one who started this crap? WTF????? Her H found out I guess, not sure on that because she was hard to understand. If he didn't know before, then he will surely know now because they (cops) came and hauled her off in cuffs no less. She was pretty violent. After they took her I had a meltdown. Thats the only way I know to say it. I started crying and was really angry. I was angry at my H because he brought this woman into our lives. It is his fault that we went through what happened last night. Or at least thats how I felt. All I could feel was anger when I was crying. I was shaking, upset and it all just burst out. I couldn't have stopped it if I had of tried. Today, I'm just very weary, unsure of what is going to happen next and wanting to crawl into a dark hole and hide somewhere. I guess thats normal. H was very concerned and said he was worried about the effects of what he caused was doing for me. He asked what he could do to help me get out of where I am right now and I told him I wanted us to totally pick up and move away from this horrid place and that he could never cheat again or it was over with for good between he and I, I went into how much pain I was feeling and everything else that was going on with me. When I was done he held me and cried. I felt nothing. I'm just numb now. I think moving totally away from this area is the best solution. We are looking into moving about 8 hours from here, back to where I'm from and where my family is. But I did stress the point that he could never, ever do this to me again because emotionally I can't take it again. I already feel broken as it is. And if we are going to patch this up then I can't have the OW doing these things. H doesn't want me to go to work today but I'm going anyway because I need a breather from this and work is the thing for me to help keep my mind off of it. I'm just tired deep down in my soul. I know he's trying and it helps me but it can't really help how I'm feeling emotionally or mentally. I think I've done pretty much all I can do and now only time and distance from this place and her are the only things that are going to help. Do any of you ever feel trapped by everything that's happened to you? Thats pretty much the way I'm feeling.
whichwayisup Posted July 15, 2006 Posted July 15, 2006 Don't do anything that is going to prevent you from letting your emotions out. It's good that you're not holding this in. I feel so awful for what you've had to deal with and I'm sure that your husband feels worse. Sorry to say this, but I don't have much sympathy for him BECAUSE this was HIS doing, not yours. Him allowing this nut into his life, is HIS responsibility. Though, it's good to read that he's shouldering the blame. Fatal attraction in the making. I really hope that the OW gets the mental help she needs. Obviously this situation pushed her over the edge and the raw emotion she's running on is making her do and say things I bet she never thought she'd do. Desparate people do desparate things without thinking...She's proof of that now. Take it one day at a time, and maybe consider seeking some one on one therapy because this may not be something you want to handle on your own.
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