Penni Posted July 15, 2006 Posted July 15, 2006 I met a guy and we stared seeing each other, and both seemed crazy about each other. I had to go away for a few weeks, and when I got back he wasn't even speaking to me if he could avoid it... no explanations... just like he has an "off switch". When I tried to get an explanation out of him, he still left the future open ended (couldn't get a definate "no"). I can't avoid contact with him at all (mostly because of where I work...and believe me I'm on the job hunt path for that reason), and he seems very uncomfortable around me. I don't know why at least being friendly should be this hard. Sure would make it easier as we have many mutual friends. By the same token, I am not over him at all... although starting to do a little better when in comes to outwards appearances (on the inside I'm probably getting worse). I have asked a few people for an honest opinion about what they think is going on... and have been told that if anything I'm a little out of his league... and that they also say that in comparison to the other girls they've seen him with. (Ok... I don't know what that all really means, but it has been a common opinion). Apparently, ever since someone hurt him badly in his most important relationship to date, there has been a bit of a line of girls preceding me with no real future prospects... but he falls pretty hard for them before it mysteriously ends. I'm not supposed to know this, but he has met someone else in the last few weeks and is suddenly in a long distance relationship (although somewhere he often has to work)... possibly with the same result, possibly not. I would love second chance if he ever would, and if he ends up free to do so. I'm not sure what to do, because I'm emotionally a wreck after the sudden turn around as it is. I tried, maybe even too hard, to remain friends... and have only just really given up on that. The most recent time I saw him I was finding it hard to even do the bare minimum of politeness (he's a customer of mine too). I guess I must be all over the place emotionally. I wonder if I could just manage some distance, and doing my own thing for a few months... that there's any possibility that he'd re-think this.
BrokenSpirit Posted July 15, 2006 Posted July 15, 2006 Well the first thing I would say is definitely distance yourself from him as much as you can, I know the work situation makes it hard... And I do understand your need to be friends with him, but thats not helping you. And you have to do what is best for you in this situation. Now my other question is, just by the way he ended things (BY NOT SAYING A WORD) shows a lot about his character. Hes a coward who couldnt confront you with the truth... Do you really want a man like that in your life? How do you trust a man like that? And one other things, his issues about picking women that arent right for him. Those are HIS issues, HIS baggage and its not your job to analyze him and try to fix him. I know it feels better to know that it wasnt something you did, but IT WASNT! Its not your fault at all! Dont blame yourself in any way if you are. Just move on!
Author Penni Posted July 17, 2006 Author Posted July 17, 2006 Oh I wouldn't have tried to fix him at all... I might have worded things a little wrong there. But yeah... I think that the period of time in which I allow he and I to remain friends has past. And I have kind of come to the realisation that what I have been on the receiving end of isn't right or really even normal. I still think distance would be good for me (because as much as I know deep down it's for the best, unlike him I still can't switch this off like switching off a light)... and I'll keep working towards a job change. But I'm going to have as little to do with him as possible in the future, most probably even if he does come back like they often have before, and concentrate on other things. Thanks for your reply
rugbyrob1990 Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Hi penni, it hate your going through this... But, like your friends say "your out of this leauge". How long did you date? How old are the two of you? The reason I ask is because your story is very close to one i'm experincing now.. Did you fight very much? Sorry for a thousand questions but i'm interested to know..
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