Outcast Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Look, just call them up and tell them. They are going to feel ROTTEN till the end of their lives that they were so awful to you when you are so ill. Because they can't imagine someone as young as you could be as sick as you are. Phone your mom right now and say 'Mom you have to listen to me now because I am extremly ill' and then just go from there. Give them the chance to love you and help you - you'll all be better for it.
whichwayisup Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 They will give a ***** once you tell them. As your parents it's their responsibility to look after you, even as you get older. It's just a fact of life. Trust me, once they know what is going on honey, they WILL help you. Isn't there any medical services they can offer you at an even lower price (*explain your situation) or even for free? If not, would you consider calling a hotline or even going to see a priest? Religious or not, they can give you some guidence and make you feel more at peace with things. *This is to make you laugh --- why not get the therapist to send the bill to your folks???? (geez, I hope that made you laugh) Just tell them, or an Aunt, Uncle, cousin - Someone. You can;t go through this alone.
TheSilentType Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Ok...my advice sucks! I just told you to cry, which will actually do more harm to you, and I told you to talk to your parents, who apparently don't give a damn. Ok, instead of crying....take a piece of paper and write down everything you are feeling. You need some outlet to release the thoughts that are going on inside your head. If you can't speak with parents, how about speaking with your brother? I wonder if he has a good relationship with you. If not your brother, then how about your friends? And Alchemyst, chin up Keep hoping for the best since that is all you can really do.
Author the_alchemyst Posted August 21, 2006 Author Posted August 21, 2006 Thanks again, you guys. WWIU: I've tried to look for other ways, but they insist that I pay full price. Sigh. I have actually already spoken with a Pastor, and LOL, he told me it was divine punishment, and that he recommended that I repent for my sins and ask for forgiveness, in an attempt to win favor with God. He said he was really sorry to hear that, but that god works in mysterious ways. Now that's funny. I'm not sure how I'll fare with a Priest. I honestly still don't think my parents will care. Really. If they did, they would leave me like an animal all by myself while they deal only with their crap. I will try to talk to them, though, when I manage to get ahold of them . . . Silent: Hehe. It's okay. My brother is on vacation with his gf. Plus, he's just like my parents--it's ALL about him. Friends. I've tried to. In fact, I did tell one, but she also has problems--bf that isn't loving enough, mom that nags, food with calories in it, etc. She asks on ocassion, but it feels like she asks more out of duty so that she can begin talking about her problems. I've tried to talk to another, but uhm. No. Haha. It feels like you people are the only ones whom understand, and I am thankful for that. Oh, and thanks for that, WWIU. Silly you. They'll probably sent it back to me and tell me to stop being a baby. I do wonder if I'm too childish, though. Hm.
TheSilentType Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 In fact, I did tell one, but she also has problems--bf that isn't loving enough, mom that nags, food with calories in it, etc. Poor thing....her life is so hard...you shouldn't bother her with your problems when hers are so much more difficult
Outcast Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I have actually already spoken with a Pastor, and LOL, he told me it was divine punishment, and that he recommended that I repent for my sins and ask for forgiveness, in an attempt to win favor with God. WHAT? This is outrageous! What a JERK! Honestly, anybody can get a &^%$ fake pastor certification from the internet these days. Cripes. That was just a moron in religous garb, Alchemyst. I hope you paid him no mind.
Author the_alchemyst Posted August 21, 2006 Author Posted August 21, 2006 I know. I don't want to bother her with my trite problems. But she also has a health problem too! She's trying very hard to combat mild acne, and it makes her sad. She's actually on anti-depression meds. When she told me that, I wanted to laugh. I'm glad you understand, though. I can't bug people with real problems.
norajane Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I'm sorry, sweets. And, I don't understand about the insurance. You're in school, so still considered a legal dependant, so you'd be covered by your parents' insurance policy. Also, doesn't your college have a health center that provides some kind of free mental health therapy? My college did...but they usually had at least one suicide there per year, so maybe that's why. If the parents don't pay your bills and don't claim you as a dependent on their income taxes, you can look into Medicaid, a state and federal program for low-income families, individuals, and children.
johan Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Alchemyst, you're selling yourself short and you're doing it to your parents, too. It's time for them to come the hell back to Earth and face this with you. At least give them a chance. When you went to your dad's office you should have demanded that he make time for you, and you should have told him you NEED to see him out of the office NOW, and it's very important. They may not listen to you from day to day, but it doesn't seem like you really require them to. And that's fine. But in this case, it's time for everyone to focus and get real. Adults will act like children if there's nothing else to do. You're going through this alone, by choice. You make excuses why no one needs to be bothered. You're cheating yourself. If you are reading this and taking it seriously, instead of responding to this thread, you'll be getting together with them to tell them what they need to know. I mean now.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I agree with Johan A. You know I love you and care about you and I don't want you take this the wrong way, but sometimes I get the impression that you're angry at your parents for numerous other reasons and maybe you want to use this against them. I don't know this for a fact and I don't know all the details, but you really, really, really need to talk to them about this.
RecordProducer Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Alchemist, I am so sorry you're going through this on top of your medical condition. What exactly were your last results (the figures)? You said that it took you a few dyas to read them. Didn't you have a doctor read them and consult you about the latest results? Were you ever hospitalized because of your disease? If yes, what did your hospital release papers say? It's unusual for doctors to not know what syndrome has affected your heart. Perhaps you haven't checked your diagnosis or have forgotten. The symptoms must be written somewhere.
whichwayisup Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Well, I can tell ya, there comes a time you gotta stand up for yourself, not worry about how your folks will react and just say your what's on your mind. You gotta know once they hear the news, they WILL be supportive. And, godforbid they aren't, shame on them! But, you'll never know unless you tell them. OK, forget the priest. Go to a Rabbi then, or even another religious leader. SOMEONE, because you need to talk about this and get perspective, otherwise i'm scared you're gonna go into a deep depression...
Author the_alchemyst Posted August 21, 2006 Author Posted August 21, 2006 Well, I followed you guys' advice and finally told my mom. I just got off the phone with her, in fact, and all I have to say is: I wish I hadn't listened to you guys because now I feel much, much worse. I don't think I will ever be able to trust my mother ever again. I shouldn't have listened! I was better off. I was better off . . . I'm going to do drown myself in tears now.
Outcast Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Unimaginable that a mother would not be supportive. I'm sorry, Alchemyst. We often make the mistake of thinking that people who have children might have some sort of kindly feelings toward them. Even though we're a bunch of strangers, I venture to say you can count on LSers for support.
whichwayisup Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 What happened? what did she say? what do you mean you won't be able to trust her again. WTF did she do to you A? I'm sorry... She's emotional just as you are - Give it afew days and I'm sure things will calm down abit.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Alchemyst, I'm sorry for what you're having to go through. But frankly, I do think you're being a bit too sensitive here. I understand that you're feeling emotionally upset. That's normal. You're right in feeling scared, sad, and alone - but I think it's more due to the illness than the fact that your mom / dad said something. You want this condition to go away, but it won't, and that's what causing you despair. Whatever your mom said to you, please, don't dwell on it. I mean, you don't want to waste your time doing that. If your parents don't have the time or love for you, then fine - you don't need them. No point whipping a dead horse. And believe me - if there's one person who can help you feel better, it's you. I agree with the poster who said that most cases that defy medical time-frames live because they want to. Please join a support group. Whether it's the emotional aspect you're seeking to fulfill, or the physical help you might get - meeting and talking to people with a similar condition will help you. If you have a unique case of cardiac failure, then join a support group that has people with serious / terminal ailments. Instead of focusing on how the doctor, priest, dad/mom etc. didn't support you, help yourself by associating with people who will. Take care of yourself - and do keep us posted!
Adunaphel Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Alchemist, I just read about what you are going through and I'm so sorry that all of this is happening to you, expecially at your age. Please go see another doctor. Not because the one who saw was an *******, but because doctors are not gods - and they can make wrong diagnosis. Expecially, do not give up hope - you are a strong person, and someone's will and desire to live and feel better can turn the odds of recovery in his/her favor. You could get transplant, the list might be very long but still sometimes it takes less time than expected. I really hope that your mom will be there for you, no matter what her first reaction was. What happened? Whatever she might have said, she might have been in shock/denial. I so hope she will be as supportive of you as a parent should and normally would. I second This_Too_Shall_Pass 's advice about joining a support group. And I think you should tell your close friends. I wish I knew anything about US insurance system and medical services. Is there anyone working in the medical or legal field that you know -friend, family friend, friend of a freind - who might advise you about how to get medical expenses covered in some way? take care of yourself.
ConfusedGal Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Hon, you did NOT make a mistake telling your mom.. She may not care. But she KNOWS. ANd she WILL repent at some time. I am sure there are sources of free therapy even if its a telephone line. Please look into it...Meanwhile we are all here for you...
Asafan Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I don't know anything I can say that will help you. All I know is that you have to try to be as positive as you can be. If you have friends, let them know what is going on if they don't. You really, really need support from where ever you can get it. You should not be alone in this. As for your doctor not going over the results with you, I just can't understand that at all. I work for cardiologists and they would never give a patient results of any kind, much less results that show a worsening of a condition, without you being in the office to answer questions. It is totally irresponsible of them and smacks of poor overall care. Please look into getting a second opinion. If I can be of any help to you at all, Please PM me and I will even ask my docs anything you would like. Everyone here wants to help you very much I'm sure.
blind_otter Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Different people deal with grief differently. At this point in your life it's important that you realize and accept that. And very often what emotions others project towards us has much more to do with them, and how they feel about themselves, rather than you. Some people are simply unable to provide support for a terminally ill patient. I really recommend you pick up a copy of "On Death and Dying" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. This book, as well as the one called "On Children and Death" has been a great help to my family now that my father is dying.
RecordProducer Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 Alchemyst, what exactly was your diagnosis? (Congestive) heart failure? Also, how come you don't have health insurance?
blind_otter Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 I talked to my mother the other day and found out that my Dad has had heart failure for the past like 10 years! There are a lot of good therapies out there, and if you don't have insurance, you can totally get on Medicaid. It's not the best, but it covers a lot and there are no co-pays. I was on Medicaid when I was pregnant in 2004. Also, this is a great opportunity to find meaning in your life. Try volunteering. It will get you out there, and sharing compassion with others will help you. Maybe you could even volunteer for hospice. It's awe inspiring to see how brave people are in the face of terrible illness. My Dad can't talk any more, he just whispers. But he still has a light in his eyes and a story to tell, even if it takes a long time. Time enough we have, if we chose, to do something powerful and meaningful. Anyone can do it. Anyone at all. All you have to do is make the choice.
silentcharon Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 Oh, that is really crappy. I'm sick too. What on earth did your mother say? I have been very fortunate to have a very supportive family and friends. I volunteer a lot more now- this is the funny part- for the past few years I have been going on the MS walk, trying to raise money, because I know two people who has MS. Then this year I got diagnosed with MS, the worst kind. I still went on the ms walk, and it gave me more meaning than ever- not only I was trying to raise money for other people, but for myself as well. Just like yours, it's a terrible disease, which no one should go through. I'm sorry, Alchy, we all are here for you. Please take it easy!
ConfusedGal Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 Al-Chemyst?? Are you there?? Let us know how you are doing!
Ariadne Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Hey you, I just found this thread because I was searching for your posts? because I like your posts? And bam, look what I found. I'm sorry about the heart problem, but I looked it up on the internet and found this (the first thing that came up): This is a serious condition that has no cure, but you can live a full and enjoyable life with the right treatment and active attention to your lifestyle.The most important thing to remember is that you're not alone. Nearly 5 million Americans are living with heart failure, and 550,000 new cases are diagnosed each year. You can manage this condition, and we’re here to help. Regardless of your treatment, you need to follow all of your doctor’s recommendations and make the necessary changes in diet, exercise and lifestyle to give you the highest possible quality of life. That didn't sound "so" bad... Maybe you are under the shock of the news and being scared (who wouldn't). But you are so young that I think you'll recover and strengthen that heart. Since you are so spiritual, holistic and the such, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out some ways to mentally or reiki like or some way to heal faster. Those things are powerful too. Find them. And your parens.. eeek... well, sometimes they really know how to upset. Good luck with that, have some patience, since you seem to be the most mature one of them all. And last, I can't believe you are not even 20! You are wise way beyond your years. Good luck with it all and relax, it'll be ok, you'll figure it out I'm sure, Ariadne
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