my ex bf(the strongest relationship i have ever had)is back into my life.. what ?!

[misono]

alright

so im pretty young, college student but i am found in a weird situation

i had a bf couple yrs ago and had one of the strongest relationships ever, i was very in love with him and i suppose he was too. we had to break it off because we were not acting maturely enough for all we were going through and it was very rough. took me a long time to move on.

now, im found very busy with college and work and i am dating a new man which doesnt make me feel quite what my ex did. i did give this boyfriend a ultimatum type of warning because he hasnt found a job ever since we have been together and has been failing college due to issues beyond my reach. he is really not there for me.. but he does claim he loves me like no other and if i leave him he would not know what to do and that he will change.

 

last couple of weeks, me and my ex habve been talking and seeing how we're doing in life, seeing how much have we changed... we really want to see each other and hang out ...

now, since he came back around im having all this doubts about my current bf.. is he the one? wtf? or...

maybe my ex is back because we are meant to be

or is this a test.. oh what should i do

 

im found extremely confussed about what i should do in this type of situation

go and see where this goes (see if something with my ex would work out) but then again how do i know if he only wants a rebound/be friends/not be lonely/get in my pants or be with me for sure

or...

try to fall in love again with my current boyfriend , which i have never quite felt that spark i felt for my ex.

 

truly again, my current bf doesnt deserve me dwelling on all of this, he is really nice to me and i dont want to hurt him

but what if im hurting myself at this same time

 

my ex bf often mentions me to dump my current because he isnt being a man for me, but a kid.. and he wants to plan all this getaway days, going to dinner, etc... which confusses things more for me

 

my bday is in a couple of days and my current is plannin all this things and before i even mention me not being in llove with him as i used to he starts sayin how much he loves me and to promise not to ever let him go, which makes me feel so criminal

 

 

ok what should i do?

 

misono, NYC

columbia university.

[norajane]

Resolve your situation with your current bf before even considering anything about your ex. And absolutely do not start seeing your ex now! Don't become a liar and a cheater - you will lose your sense of self-worth very quickly and both relationships will fail.

 

You have no idea what's up with your ex, who he really is after all this time, nor what kind of relationship you might have. Right now, you're just dreaming, and he's turning your head with all this negative talk about your bf, and with all his plans of what he will do for you. Dinners out and trips may be flattering, but they don't make a relationship worth having.

 

Maybe you don't want to be with your bf, and maybe you do. Whatever you decide, do it completely OUTSIDE of anything you think you might have with your ex.

 

If you decide to end things with your boyfriend, don't immediately jump into a relationship with your ex. You broke up for a reason, and until you are reasonably confident that those past issues are resolved (his and YOURS), take it very, very slow. Right now, your ex wants something from you and he's liable to do and say anything to get it. He's not showing very much respect for your relationship or your bf...one day, he might not show you any respect, either.

[Brittanyjean06]

An old flame is reapearing in your life eh? The shame of that how much damage that can do ! Now you got over this guy and it took you all the strength you had right? Well were never lucky enough in life to have feelings as strong as the first until later on , and I meen later on so of course your not going to feel the exact same for your current boyfriend. This is your happiness..not any one else's. You did break up for a reason though and what was this reason?? Man I am very confused for you because I just don't know what kind of advice to give you! If you don't have strong attached feelings for your present boyfriend now than chances are you won't ever.

 

Both might not even be the " man " that is supposed to be in your life, maybe you just need your own time for your self to sorten out all this confusion.

 

hope that helps..