coast2528 Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 my x contacted me through e-mail after us not speaking for 10 years soon after we broke up he joined the marines.. we have been talking on-line for about a week.. he says that he wanted to contact me to say he was sorry, and that he never stopped loving me. although he was my first love and we were together for a long time. makes it hard for me now just to cut him off.. he says that he would never come between me and my family. He respects me and is happy just to have made contact w/me after 10 years. However he wants to remain friends. I told him that i love my husband very much and nothing means more than my family.. is it possible that we could be friends after all this time. Now that i am married it further complicates things. My husband is aware we talk but is pretty spooked about the whole thing... how is this going to turn out. Now that he is back living two towns away is a friendship possible without jepordizing my husband and two children? need advice???
Guest Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 my x contacted me through e-mail after us not speaking for 10 years soon after we broke up he joined the marines.. we have been talking on-line for about a week.. he says that he wanted to contact me to say he was sorry, and that he never stopped loving me. although he was my first love and we were together for a long time. makes it hard for me now just to cut him off.. he says that he would never come between me and my family. He respects me and is happy just to have made contact w/me after 10 years. However he wants to remain friends. I told him that i love my husband very much and nothing means more than my family.. is it possible that we could be friends after all this time. Now that i am married it further complicates things. My husband is aware we talk but is pretty spooked about the whole thing... how is this going to turn out. Now that he is back living two towns away is a friendship possible without jepordizing my husband and two children? need advice??? If he's making a point to tell you he never stopped loving you, that to me sounds like he's hoping to be together again with you someday. Personally, I'd say nothing wrong with phoning on the very rare occassion, but I would not make it a habit to hang out in person. I would keep my distance and avoid even putting myself in a potentially sticky situation.
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 If you think that this man who is coming back in to your life is going to jeopordize your family than you know inside that you still have feelings for him or care for him a great deal? If you love your husband very much than this isn't going to ruin anything right? It's only going to ruin things if you let it..His intentions could be to get back together ? I don't see whats wrong if you see him maybe your husband could see him to?
Chinook Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 I don't believe we can really be friends with people we've previously had a relationship with. For my 2p, it's really your husband who you should be considering here. If it was me, I'd stay 'friendly' which is rather different from being 'friends'.
KittenMoon Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 Yknow, I'd say 10 years is enough distance to be friends, except he said that he never stopped loving me. . That's a questionable bait. Talking about feelings that should long be done with? Sketchy.
Ukwizard Posted July 14, 2006 Posted July 14, 2006 It can be possible to be friends, but like you say. It can become very complicated especially with you being married. I would speak to your husband first. He`s already `spooked`, by all this. It is possible to be friends, only if there are no feelings between the both of you. It sounds like you ex from 10 years ago wants you back by using the words `I ve never stopped loving you`. You also have to understand your husbands point of view. I dont know your husband, but if he is the insecure or jealous type then there could be problems. Also the fact that you are talking to him online could undoubtedly may make your husband suspicous. I`d say to my ex that things have changed, and you are married, and can only draw the line, and be nothing but friends. If he doesnt reply back then I think he knows where he stands.
justagirliegirl Posted July 14, 2006 Posted July 14, 2006 IMO you have managed just fine without him for 10 years. Your priority is your family and that is where your loyalty should be. The only reason he has contacted you is he thinks there is some slim chance of getting you back. What I would do is say it was nice catching up with you and I wish you well. Good bye.
littlekitty Posted July 14, 2006 Posted July 14, 2006 A ex lover come back after 10 years away who is 'still in love' with you. Your husband is spooked by this, and you don't say that you told him this man is still in love with you. IMO this friendship = danger to your marriage. Don't extend the hand of friendship too much. It's fine to keep in contact occassionally sure, but I think a RL friendship with that man will be difficult because he still loves you! I also think it would be disrepectful to your husband to form a close friendship with this man.
Recommended Posts