codergirl Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 I met a man who I was attracted to physically at first, but then fell for the person he was. He was really taken with me, he said that I was the first woman he has been attracted to on so many levels, in addition to physical, in his life. He told me he didn't want anything serious and I agreed, but then we talked about being exclusive, we lived together for two weeks and talked about him moving in permenantly with me. In hind sight I can see not only did he get scared and leave, I pushed him away due to my fear of abandonment. When he left he said he never really wanted anything deep with anyone. I left him alone and decided to just get on with life. He's called me a few times including today. It's been short conversations and nothing deep, but today he accepted an open invitation I had given him to take him out for his birthday. We are suppose to go out this weekend. Is it possible he really does feel an attraction to me like he has no other and wants to spend time with me? I'm willing to go with the flow and see what happens, no expectations. I'm wondering if that's what he wants as well. Maybe we'll talk and I'll find out, but for now tell me what you think.
surrealrain Posted July 14, 2006 Posted July 14, 2006 I think he's looking to get him some. You shouldn't waste your time.
norajane Posted July 14, 2006 Posted July 14, 2006 Well, if he didn't want anything deep with anyone, he should have run the other way when he realized you were "the first woman he has been attracted to on so many levels" BEFORE he started living with you. He sounds like someone who's going to be bad news for you because you want a lot more than he does out of a relationship. And how kind of him to allow you to take him out for his birthday! Move on. You've a better chance of finding what you're looking for in someone else rather than in someone who has already told you he doesn't want a significant relationship with you.
BrokenSpirit Posted July 14, 2006 Posted July 14, 2006 I know its hard to hear the negative when you want something so badly... But dont sleep with him! Why buy the cow when your gettin the milk for free... And he did let you know he didnt want anything serious... You just had blind hope but dont let it be your downfall... You have to be strong and go the no contact route so you can move on... I mean you really want to be with a 'man' and I use that term loosly, who told you he doesnt want anything serious? You deserve so much more than that and you obviously want so much more than that... Do yourself a favor and save yourself more grief and dont walk, RUN the other way... Sorry to be harsh dont mean to hurt you...
Devrapunzel Posted July 14, 2006 Posted July 14, 2006 I But dont sleep with him! Why buy the cow when your gettin the milk for free... Really good advice here. I agree with the others that you should go NC and be done with it. However, I know human behavior and I have a feeling you will be going to dinner with him. That being said, absolutely DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM. It might be nice at the moment, but it will only leave you emotionally distraught afterwards. You will be back to square one. Plus, like Broken Spirit says, why buy the cow if the milk is free? He will have no motivation to be in a realtionship with you. His motivation will be to keep loose contact so as to get you in bed now and again. Sorry if this stings, but we're just trying to save you some pain.
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