Sally00 Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 I am waiting till marriage to have sex. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months and we're in love... we also talk about marriage all the time. We're practically engaged. Anyways, he's not a virgin. He's done it with someone he was with for 2 1/2 years. But we talked about sex before dating. I said I was waiting till marriage. He said he would not pressure me into anything at all. I also didn't know that I would have my first sexual urge... this happened about the first couple months. But we haven't had sex. Everytime we get close, I think of God and how He meant sex for only marriage. I am a God-fearing person. No, I am certainly not one of those church people. But I do believe in God and what he has to say. Sometimes, I get really scared that I will give in. I know for sure that I won't. But there's still that part of me that is scared... and will probably get a little too close.. I don't know. Do you know how to make yourself just say NOOOOO... NO SEX. Something that will just keep you away from doing it? Anything will help... thanks.
magichands Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 Other than taking frequent cold showers? But seriously, it's like anything in life - if it's important enough to you, then you will make sure you save it for sometime special. I guess it comes down to willpower. I mean, I could have chocolate icecream every day - but if I only had it once a month, then I would really, really savour it. Slosh it around on my taste buds, and squeeze every last drop of enjoyment out before it melts. Ummm... what's my point? Hurry up and get married, so that you can have some chocolate icecream. But it's not going to be the sort of chocolate icecream that you COULD have now... it is a MUCH better kind. Because you waited for the "commitment" shipment from Switzerland. Unfortunately I can't afford that brand.
Blackfrost Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 It's all about willpower, and not putting yourself in situations where your willpower might falter (i.e. drinking, too much pronlonged groping during kissing etc) If you believe in waiting: Be true to your self and your convictions. You'll have lifetime of sex ahead of you.
Author Sally00 Posted July 13, 2006 Author Posted July 13, 2006 You guys are right. Thanks for your input. That's all I gotta think about... the willpower. I like the analogy of ice cream. And I like the fact that there IS a lifetime of sex.. all I gotta do is realize that. I'll just enjoy being a virgin while it lasts hehe. Oh, and another thing. I'm not going to hurry up and get married. I'm still in college. One big thing at a time.
magichands Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 Oh, and another thing. I'm not going to hurry up and get married. I'm still in college. One big thing at a time. Fair enough! I guess I was just getting impatient for you. A lifetime of sex? That sounds like a lot of work.
westernxer Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 I'll just enjoy being a virgin while it lasts hehe. Innocence can be a blessing in disguise.
magichands Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 Innocence can be a blessing in disguise. You're still allowed to have oral and anal - from what I've heard.
westernxer Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 You're still allowed to have oral and anal - from what I've heard. As a wise man once said, "Be moral, go oral."
magichands Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 As a wise man once said, "Be moral, go oral." Now I understand.
scrybe74 Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 I was raised christian as well....have you considered doing some actually research on what 'God' has to say about sex before marriage and marriage itself? You may be surprised. Read up on the history of marriage, the church and religion. Research it for yourself before you make a decision to wait or not. Keep in mind that a lot of things we were told came from 'God' actually came from an influential bishop/pope/minister or scribe for political/religious reasons. Human reasons. I'm not saying that God doesn't have anything to say about your sex life...just...to find out for yourself what is truly from God and what is simply inferred or all out lies.
Nur Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 Well, if you think that way, please don't tell me you're one of those people who believe that going for "technical virginity," meaning you've done every other possible thing in the book besides sex, is what the whole virginity-before-marriage thing means. Because once you have sex, you'll realize that it's no more intimate or meaningful than any other sexual act. Just keep it to kisses/hugs until you are ready to go further, which I guess means marriage for you. And don't forget to keep an open mind -- I used to think as you do, but I've found that sex is a wonderful thing to share with someone you truly love and are committed to (even without a marriage liscence). There's nothing at all wrong with waiting until you are absolutely, beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt sure. You are definitely doing the right thing in that regard. But make sure you think it over carefully and are sure about your decision. There is nothing sinful or evil about sex, providing you only share it with someone who deserves that part of you.
Nur Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 Also keep in mind that the whole virgin-till-marriage thing was brougt about back when women were considered property to be "unspoiled," and given to marriage as soon as they reached puberty to much older men. After all, if you are not a virgin at age 14, there is probably something sleazy in your nature. But the custom wasn't desiged for age 25. People back then died before 40. The bible was very influenced by the times. Jews not eating pork because it's "dirty," etc. Back then, it was. Now we have technology to sanitize meat. The custom is rather obscelete. It also mentions that "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" but you don't see people going around killing Pagans. Now, these days, when women can choose who they marry, it's nice knowing all of the person, including their sexual compatibility with you, before you stay with them forever, just as you'd expect to know how they react in a stressful situation, how they deal with anger, etc. A bad sex life is pretty harmful to a relationship, and it might be a nasty surprise if you find that he has a completely different sex drive than you do, likes different positions than you do (or refuses to try more than one), or has some fetish that you are completely against. Kind of a big chance to take, since your sex life is a pretty important part of your marriage. Just something to think about.
Hitman10000 Posted July 20, 2006 Posted July 20, 2006 Man, I'd hate to be your boyfriend. I'd never purchase a car if all they allowed me was to test drive on the streets, I want to ride it on the highway to see how far it can go and how fun it can be. If it sucked, I'd move on to the next car. Kinda messed up how Christianity puts the P*ssy on the pedestal like that.
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