PeanutHead88 Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 I still feel down in the dumps from my first LT relationship happening when I was 14. I know deep down that this is just a process you go through and that it takes a pretty long time. But with it being a year don't you think I could have let go by now maybe a tad bit? Well I haven't. It's been on my mind constantly and I still feel so hurt from what happend, things ended pretty badly. He hasn't spoken to me in a year which is for the better. The relationship was not fair on my part, and extremely Toxic. I dated a sociopath, who mimicked my feelings. How can I still be so hurt over it? I am so thankful for it being a year because when this all happend, it was unbearable pain, now It is just down in the dumps type of pain you know? My friend got over her first love after two years, and what took that was meeting someone new...mainly a new love. So I have hope on loving someone again in the future, but now I just feel the blues and even though I am asking this " is it normal to still be very hurt after a year " when I know the answer I just want it reinforced. So any one still feeling down in the dumps a year later? Feels like only yesterday this all happend but subtract some pain.
Buttaflyy Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 It's perfectly normal. Unfortunately. Me and my GF's have this idea that it sometimes takes half the time of the relationship. Luckily, you will find lots of support here to get you through. I find that like your friend, it does help to meet someone new. Not necessarily expecting anything serious, but to hang out with, talk to, have fun. Get back into the dating game and see that there are sooo many other fish in the sea. :love: Hugs:love:
KittenMoon Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 Brit- I think in reality you are SO OVER this guy. I may be way off base, so don't be offended, but I think what you're feeling now is just a longing for a new love, probably not much different than most single folks have. Because you were so young with your first LTR, you're probably experiencing the "longing" feeling for a partner many people become familiar with in high school, when your emotional states are in transition (at least, I remember this as I didn't have anyone most of my hs years, but prior to 13-14, the "longing" didn't really exist because bfs/gfs hadn't quite moved past being cute infatuations). From all the stuff you say, it sounds like you are still remembering the toxicity of your first bf, but I don't think that means you are not over him. You are remembering a tough period, but you are obviously wiser for it. I betcha 5 bucks it won't be long before you're on LS talking up your new beau!
Author PeanutHead88 Posted July 13, 2006 Author Posted July 13, 2006 I wish what you said was true! But you are right in some ways, I am just reambering the tough times that I had and wish that I could go back in time and fight back to all the crap that happend to me Yes it is still on my mind but with a past like that whos mind woulden't it be on?? Thanks so muchhh what a great way to make me feel better:) it really did! I have longings for love, but I don't want to base my life on just love in order to feel complete you know?
KittenMoon Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 But you are right in some ways, I am just reambering the tough times that I had and wish that I could go back in time and fight back to all the crap that happend to me Exactly! You're over him... but not what happened. Don't worry- someday all this will just be that "stuff you did as a teenager" I have longings for love, but I don't want to base my life on just love in order to feel complete you know? Yes and Yes. Its ok to long for it if you want it though... if you can deal with all the suckiness of waiting for it to happen! How long until college now?
Author PeanutHead88 Posted July 13, 2006 Author Posted July 13, 2006 Well I start community college some time in august! my friend says I miss him because I have nothign else to miss, that is true! thanks for the advice its good hearing it from someone with more of an objective point of view
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