littleME123 Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Hi everyone! Here's my story, any insight would be greatly appreciated! I'm 25 and my ex is 32. We had been dating for almost a year, and everything had been fantastic! He'd even told me that "I was too good to be true" and "Everyday is better with you." blah blah blah! From the very beginning we were close! I'd never had anyone who had me so intellectually turned on before! And he felt the same about me. Well, the last couple months of our relationship, we both began to get stressed out, and he started doubting that we were a good match. I was having a lot of personal problems and he was having more responsibility at work. Things have come up at his work that will force him to travel much more. He works for the government and doesn't have a choice. Looking back, I could have been more supportive and understanding, but I was going through some stuff too and being very selfish. I was expecting him to drop everything to comfort me and I wasn't aknowledging what he was doing to help. So, about a month and a half ago he broke things off. He said that I'm not going to be happy with him and his life. He cares about me, but I'm just going to be sad and lonely when he can't always be around and he'd feel terrible for doing that to me. Lately I've been an emotional mess, so I can see why he'd think I'd get like that. But I've already told him that it's not a problem for me. I want HIM and if his job doesn't always make that easy we'll just have to make it work. I've told him I know how these things go (I've dated military guys before) and can handle it. He's afraid that I won't be ok without him and he'll feel guilty. I've solved all my emotional stuff and the stuff that's been stressing me out is now gone. So, after nothing from him for a month, we start talking again. We've been talking on the phone and e-mailing each other for almost 2 weeks now. Everything has been great. Great conversation, even flirting. I've been trying to play things cool, but also trying to be clear that I want to get back together. The other night, we talked for about an hour. About half way through the conversation I asked him "What are we doing?" He said "I don't know." I asked if we were going to try dating each other again or if it's just not going to happen. He said "I don't know. Let me think about it." So I said ok and went back to conversation. He's leaving for business in a couple weeks and mentioned taking me out to dinner before then. Asking me where I want to go, etc. But he didn't set an exact date... So what is everyone's take on this? Should I just go with the flow? Forget the whole thing? Keep faith?
AriaIncognito Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 None of us will really be able to tell you if there's hope or not. Best thing for you to do, is to follow whatever your heart tells you. In my opinion, having no regrets is important (at least it is to me) so if my heart were to tell me to give him a shot, I would. If my heart were to tell me that we shouldn't be together, well then I'd do that. I wouldn't want to always wonder 'what if', so whatever it will take for you to not wonder about it, and whatever won't be destructive/hurtful to you or your life, would be my answer. It sounds to me like he's confused and he thinks you have some work to do on yourself before he'll be comfortable. if that's the case, and you're willing to change yourself, FOR YOURSELF, then I'd say that you might as well give it a shot, as it doesn't seem to be a harmful relationship from your story. Good luck, Jennifer
Author littleME123 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Posted July 12, 2006 Thanks! After we broke up I really started to look at myself and how I had become in the relationship. * I had stopped being receptive to his comforting, I had some hormonal issues... * I had stopped giving him the best of me. It's not right to give the person you care about most, the worst of you all the time. * I had started depending on him too much for my happiness. * I had neglected my own life. Stopped hanging out with my fiends and having my OWN LIFE! * I had stopped letting him know how much I appreciated him There are others... But I realized I don't want to be like that. It's unhealthy. It's unrealistic and unfair to expect him to be my sole source of happiness and comfort. I've done a lot of growing and hope I get a chance to prove it to him. He's really wonderful and I absolutely adore him! We had amazing chemistry, and still do during our recet phone convos, and we click in every possible way. I just can't let him go knowing his reasons and knowing in myself that he's wrong about me.
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