electric_sheep Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 It's interesting that message boards about life and relationships focus so much on what it means to be a man. There's an implicit assumption there that most men feel the need for some guidance in this area, and I wonder why that is. Well, I think there are a couple of reasons for this. Minority groups (and women) take a great deal of comfort from feeling like they are a part of a special group. Wereas white middle class men (such as myself) feel somewhat adrift and aimless, without any support group or connection. To make matters worse, the role that is expected of us is now unclear. This role is a little unclear for women too, but women can take comfort in this sort of female solidarity. Just consider, there is no "menism", just "feminism". There are no classes on "White studies" at University, just "Black studies". Add to this a collective feeling of guilt for f*cking up the world so bad, and you have a bunch of aimless, guilty, uncertain white boys having existential crisis. (I think maybe the Slacker generation, of which I am a part, was a response to all this ... we simply gave up ... screw the stars, I'll just be a rock). No wonder shows like the O'Reilly Factor and Rush Limbaugh are so popular. They are like the last hold out, before we all become sissy boys and sensitive metrosexuals.
electric_sheep Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Lastly, not all women would be impressed by this ideological image of manliness you have created ... and frankly, you can have the ones that are impressed. My girlfriend loves me because I write beautifully (when inspired), am sensitive and sometimes fragile, have good taste in shoes, sit down while taking a pee (especially after drinking beer) out of courtesy, am not afraid to pick up a mop or broom, let her grow her armpit hair out, and generally don't expect her to live up to the societal ideal of womanliness, which honestly has been very destructive and oppresive until here lately. So, you can have your insipid, unintellectual blonde hick to ride on the back of your Harley Davidson with you ... I'll sit quietly in my Kennith Cole's at a cafe in the Lower East Side enjoying a nice conversation with my smart, liberated, and sassy girlfriend, who is every much my equal. Thank you very much.
crazy_grl Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 I'm not sure where people are reading the macho nonsense that they're complaining about. Is it just a remanant of all the woman-hater, neanderthal threads that've been posted lately? Is that coloring people's views? I re-read the first post, and I don't see it. What I read was about having respect for yourself, setting boundaries and asking people to respect you, being happy, having goals and dreams, living for more than the pursuit of the opposite sex, being surrounded by worthwhile people, respecting women, and trying to improve yourself. To me, these are simply traits of a healthy, well-adjusted individual. I don't get all the arguements.
electric_sheep Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Ha. It's probably just me ... I'm sort of suffering from attention deficit disorder today for some reason ... I just read a couple of paragraphs and decided it was macho propoganda, then felt like ranting a bit. My apologies.
Author hyakku Posted July 17, 2006 Author Posted July 17, 2006 Wow, I cant even read anymore because it is emotionally draining. 50 years ago I would say society would say you had the rite idea. Luckily...men have evolved on an emotional level to a degree. No longer is the woman in the kitchen and man at the office. In this day and age how can anyone say a man is or should be this. Not even sure I would attempt such a feat. The biggest problem in the past has been that the woman was a slave of the man. Thats not the case and it burns alot of men. I suppose as long as we can look it up in the books it will always be the case but luckily to a smaller % as the years come and go. The 2nd problem that we have is that men are less emotional than woman this creating misunderstanding on many levels. A real man would attempt to try and understand the woman in order to relate on a more emotional plain. So if a man ask himself "what I did wrong" or "how can I remedy this situation" it makes him MORE the man and not less. You want to be the man that requires a slave who accepts the "do as I say cause I said it" then go ahead. But I want a woman that will put me in my place when needed and allow me to put her in hers when she needs it. How else could a relationship continue to be interesting and alive. -Shane Guess you haven't read through the rest of the thread then? I and many other posters did address this, reread again, relax, I'm not trying to post any machoistic propaganda, and read some of my follow up posts. Yea electric man, please reread as well, i've not only amended some of those, but most of what you posted is in congruence to my original post. Outcast, you got me again >_<. Its just alot harder not to make generalizations, when most people I know personally (I can use most here ), are like this, but you're right, I don't know the WHOLE world, I just visit alot of places where guys are like this, so I amend that as well . And yea outcast, like I said, I'm working on the emphathizing with others, because you're right, I dunno where and what they're backgrounds/conditionings/whatever is about. But please, those who oppose this, don't NOT post, those are the best kind of posts to me, because it helps me to see from your point of view and adopt maybe another mindset, i think its good to have conflicting ideas. I mean take for example what I've learned from people like outcast and lindya so far, because they presented me with another side of learning from their point of view. Edit: Electric, race doesn't have alot to do with it (though it is an influencing factor), more raising, conditioning, and enivorment. Example? I'm black (african american, whatever you wanna call it), and the blonde hick girl thing was pretty prejudice to blondes man, you should watch how you post or at least try not to, we all slip up though but watch it next time.
Outcast Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 when most people I know personally (I can use most here:p ) Yes you can
crazy_grl Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 It's probably just me ... I'm sort of suffering from attention deficit disorder today for some reason ... I just read a couple of paragraphs and decided it was macho propoganda, then felt like ranting a bit. *whew* I was worried the "macho manly men" had brainwashed me, and that's why I was missing it.
Author hyakku Posted July 17, 2006 Author Posted July 17, 2006 *whew* I was worried the "macho manly men" had brainwashed me, and that's why I was missing it. Who says we havent >_>.
electric_sheep Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Ha, I'm more manly than I thought ... insensitive, brutish, stereotyping. Point taken Hyakku. (and I'll try and read the whole post next time). I certainly hope no blondes or hicks got there feelings hurt, I love you both, seriously. (at least the blondes, anyway). And since my foot is already planted firmly in my mouth ... crazzy_grl, that's a really nice ass, honey. Got to get back to Rush Limbaugh now, hehe.
crazy_grl Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Who says we havent >_>. Uh oh! Nah, hyakku, no doubt you're a man for sure, but not one of the worst-case scenario, knuckle-dragging, "women belong barefoot in the kitchen" ones I'm worried about.
crazy_grl Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 And since my foot is already planted firmly in my mouth ... crazzy_grl, that's a really nice ass, honey. Why thank you. I've heard many good things about it.
Author hyakku Posted July 17, 2006 Author Posted July 17, 2006 Ha, I'm more manly than I thought ... insensitive, brutish, stereotyping. Point taken Hyakku. (and I'll try and read the whole post next time). I certainly hope no blondes or hicks got there feelings hurt, I love you both, seriously. (at least the blondes, anyway). And since my foot is already planted firmly in my mouth ... crazzy_grl, that's a really nice ass, honey. Got to get back to Rush Limbaugh now, hehe. No problem. And you can hurt the hicks feelings, its ok to do that:laugh: . Nah, hyakku, no doubt you're a man for sure, but not one of the worst-case scenario, knuckle-dragging, "women belong barefoot in the kitchen" ones I'm worried about. Wait.....I was supposed to give her shoes w hile slaving? Oops
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