Being a man

[crazy_grl]

hyakku, didn't you say in another post that you're still in high school? I think that was you. I only had time to read your first post, but I think you have a lot of insight and if you are so young, a lot of wisdom for your age. There are a few things I might argue with, but for the most I agree with you. I also think many of the things you said can be applied to women as well.

 

I don't have time to offer any more feedback, because I have to head out the door. If I have time soon, I'll get into more specifics.

[hyakku]

Here's something to chew on. It's a mistake to believe that people are intentionally, deliberately mean. I've met very few people in my life who haven't issues of some sort; and people's reactions to issues are often to behave less-than-ideally. So rather than devising a theory that all women are hideous and that you must try 'strategies' to fend off their horribleness, I suggest you do a lot of reading in psych, learn what messes people up and why they react the way they do, and then aim to find a healthy parnter.

 

All the rest of this hooey is just a big ball of bluster IMHO. And you spend so much time thinking about your 'strategies' that you don't notice when you walk smack dab into another person with serious issues.

 

Learn about other people; there's a good way to spend your time rather than devising rants and 'strategies'.

You are right, alot of people really AREN'T intentionally mean. But why do you keep accusing me of calling women hideous? I have said nothing of the sort. And you are right, strategies make things alot harder. Its good to maybe have some fun things YOU like, but I agree. Back when I thought that maybe neg hits and routines and BS would get me great women or speed seduction, I would fight you tooth and nail (and may even win. That's my blessing and curse I think, that I can fight for any cause and almost always find a way to come out victorious) over this concept, but being just a simple man (well as much of a man as a high schooler can be ), makes "game" just flow naturally, its more fun, you can actually enjoy the presence of a woman instead of thinking, "Is it time to run this pattern? Should I neg now? What phase of Attraction am I in!!??!?!?", and more importantly you realize that women aren't life, they are just a wonderful part of it. you make life what you want it to be, don't depend on females (or anything else for that matter) to make life for you, it puts unfair pressure on women, and you turn out unhappy.

 

Strangely enough, I am gonna major in Psychology (UCSB!!!! ), so I look forward to learning some of the stuff you are talking about, sounds really fun and interesting.

 

Again, I'm not exactly sure where I made you think that strategies and techniques were the way to go. I know they aren't, I used to believe they were, so I'm the last person you are going to hear say that. I find that when you appreciate every moment of life, and notice the details, and really get to appreciate other people, life is so much better. You dunno since I've changed my mindset from, "Technique, Pick up, alpha man ROARR!!!", to "Enjoy life and appreciate everything" how many fun and interesting people I've met. Train conductors, bartenders (not really bartenders because they also serve other stuff, but for lack of a better word), bus drivers (these guys have awesome stories, trust me), older people, younger kids, whatever. everyone has an interesting story and everyone is unique. Life is f***ing awesome just for that reason alone. When you get out there the best feeling is to just start talking to them, really get to see the world from their perspective and just have fun. I love having someone tell me a story of theres that's hilarious, or seeing a woman smile, not because I'm hitting her with my "ultimate SS pattern!!!" but because I am genuinly interested in her and her story, and am actually enjoying her company. That's what lifes about, living and having fun. Just my opinion.

 

And yea C_g I am in HS, its funny though because back then I was the one telling you all how you were all wrong about techniques and that the alpha male mindset was God and all. Now I look back and I smile that i've progressed. Life is f***ing GREAT .

[Outcast]

"Enjoy life and appreciate everything" how many fun and interesting people I've met."

 

Now you're talking!

how many fun and interesting people I've met. Train conductors, bartenders (not really bartenders because they also serve other stuff, but for lack of a better word), bus drivers (these guys have awesome stories, trust me), older people, younger kids, whatever. everyone has an interesting story and everyone is unique. Life is f***ing awesome just for that reason alone. When you get out there the best feeling is to just start talking to them, really get to see the world from their perspective and just have fun. I love having someone tell me a story of theres that's hilarious, or seeing a woman smile, not because I'm hitting her with my "ultimate SS pattern!!!" but because I am genuinly interested in her and her story, and am actually enjoying her company. That's what lifes about, living and having fun.

 

Congratulations! You have managed to fiigure out what it takes a lot of people half a lifetime to figure out. And some never do.

 

But why do you keep accusing me of calling women hideous? I have said nothing of the sort

 

But you speak of

goldiggers, bitches, immature brats, etc. They couldn't keep this mentality.

as though their numbers are legion. Sure there are some just as some men are abusive and controlling. There's bad apples in both genders. So, again, the trick is figuring out what the person in front of you is about. And sometimes that takes a lot of time.

[hyakku]

Now you're talking!

 

 

Congratulations! You have managed to fiigure out what it takes a lot of people half a lifetime to figure out. And some never do.

 

 

 

But you speak of as though their numbers are legion. Sure there are some just as some men are abusive and controlling. There's bad apples in both genders. So, again, the trick is figuring out what the person in front of you is about. And sometimes that takes a lot of time.

 

 

Ohhhh I see what you mean. I came across that way now that I read through it. What I meant was that these people would not be able to thrive, both jerks/*******s and goldiggers/bitches, etc. Not that they are the majority, but they wouldn't be able to survive in a world where everyone had high standards and expectations, and the marjority of people lived up to them. That's more what I meant, not that all women are like that . Hope I make more sense now.

[alphamale]

So, again, the trick is figuring out what the person in front of you is about.

If you can figure out a reliable and accurate way of doing that then the world will beat a path to your doorstep...

[Outcast]

That's more what I meant, not that all women are like that . Hope I make more sense now.

 

Much better

[lindya]

It's interesting that message boards about life and relationships focus so much on what it means to be a man. There's an implicit assumption there that most men feel the need for some guidance in this area, and I wonder why that is.

 

I liked your post, hyakku, insofar as you come across as a very positive person who appreciates the importance of creating and appreciating happiness. I suppose where I have some difficulty is that the first post instantly conjured up slightly stereotypical visions of a solitary John Wayne figure sticking doggedly to his own path. That works in films, where the script is set to make him shine....but in real life, adaptability is key.

 

What's a man? A man's a guy who wants to follow his purpose no matter what. No woman, man, animal, or anything in this world will take him off his path.

 

People change and evolve. Sometimes they need (for the sake of their own progress and potential for success) to be encouraged off certain paths. Most of us - even the manliest of men and the womanliest of women - will be guilty of sometimes taking a path that isn't actually leading anywhere worthwhile.

 

The flip side of your John Wayne image is a stubborn individual who's unable to concede that sometimes he's wrong. Unable to accept that as he walks his path in life, he'll find there are times when peace and happiness are impossibilities unless he learns the art of compromise. Figures out that life is always going to present him with situations where the only sane course of action is to take a detour from that path he was so set on following.

 

Suicide bombers follow a doctrine that dictates how a "real man" should act. The cultures they target demand that their leaders act like "real men by prioritising aggressive posturing above diplomacy. Tenacity can be a great virtue, but the fact that some people never learn the importance lesson of compromising and sacrificing a few dreams is at the root of some of our world's biggest problems and tragedies.

 

There's bound to come a time when you have to reluctantly concede that you're on a wrong path in life. Don't make it harder for yourself to deal with that moment by adhering too rigidly to fixed notions of how a real man should think and behave. You won't lose your authenticity by accepting that you aren't, in fact, a fixed island in a lonely ocean. Let yourself evolve.

[Outcast]

I hope you keep your new outlook on life throughout your life. I hope that when you get your heart broken (because it's probably inevitable, sadly) that you remain able to process it rationally rather than deciding 'all' women are evil and not to be trusted. You sound as though you have a very good head on your shoulders and I hope that you do whatever it takes to maintain that balanced outlook.

 

If you do, you will manage to have a joyful life and to recover from whatever setbacks beset you and not only survive, but thrive. You won't turn into one of the bitter, soured, sad people one sees all too often on LS. As you seem to have realized, life is too short to live it filled with negative emotions. Never let that philosophy change

[westernxer]

It's interesting that message boards about life and relationships focus so much on what it means to be a man. There's an implicit assumption there that most men feel the need for some guidance in this area, and I wonder why that is.

 

I think it's due, most of the time, to having bad experiences with women, or not having a father around to show them the ropes. Or else, their fathers are too p-whipped to make any sort of impact whatsoever, for fear that they'll be sent off the the dungeon, also known as the living room couch.

[alphamale]

It's interesting that message boards about life and relationships focus so much on what it means to be a man. There's an implicit assumption there that most men feel the need for some guidance in this area, and I wonder why that is.

Its because the mothers of most of these men have turned them into effeminate little sods. Or because they did not have the proper masculine guidance in their formative years. In addition, females today don't even know what they want out of their men and they send mixed messages to men. So the blame falls clearly on females.

[hyakku]

It's interesting that message boards about life and relationships focus so much on what it means to be a man. There's an implicit assumption there that most men feel the need for some guidance in this area, and I wonder why that is.

 

I liked your post, hyakku, insofar as you come across as a very positive person who appreciates the importance of creating and appreciating happiness. I suppose where I have some difficulty is that the first post instantly conjured up slightly stereotypical visions of a solitary John Wayne figure sticking doggedly to his own path. That works in films, where the script is set to make him shine....but in real life, adaptability is key.

 

 

 

People change and evolve. Sometimes they need (for the sake of their own progress and potential for success) to be encouraged off certain paths. Most of us - even the manliest of men and the womanliest of women - will be guilty of sometimes taking a path that isn't actually leading anywhere worthwhile.

 

The flip side of your John Wayne image is a stubborn individual who's unable to concede that sometimes he's wrong. Unable to accept that as he walks his path in life, he'll find there are times when peace and happiness are impossibilities unless he learns the art of compromise. Figures out that life is always going to present him with situations where the only sane course of action is to take a detour from that path he was so set on following.

 

Suicide bombers follow a doctrine that dictates how a "real man" should act. The cultures they target demand that their leaders act like "real men by prioritising aggressive posturing above diplomacy. Tenacity can be a great virtue, but the fact that some people never learn the importance lesson of compromising and sacrificing a few dreams is at the root of some of our world's biggest problems and tragedies.

 

There's bound to come a time when you have to reluctantly concede that you're on a wrong path in life. Don't make it harder for yourself to deal with that moment by adhering too rigidly to fixed notions of how a real man should think and behave. You won't lose your authenticity by accepting that you aren't, in fact, a fixed island in a lonely ocean. Let yourself evolve.

 

That's a good point, and I agree, I'm gonna start thinking about that more. I don't think anyones path in life should be destructive to self or others, besides that, i encourage everyone to do what they want, as long as they aren't harming htemselves. But you're spot on, being able to adapt is most important in life, because sometiems the purpose teh had before isn't what they want now. But another thing I wanna say is that I don't just mean a path or purpose in all of life, but small goals too. Alot of people want even the smallest things, but because they don't know HOW to go about getting even the smalles things, and they end up falling off. Even in small things guys, push till you accomplish. That's what confidence stems from. Setting goals, and accomplishing them.

 

I wanna thank you alot though, for that insight, especially about the suicide bomber perspective, that really opened up something for me. I think that a question I should now ask myself should be, "How is this going to benefit myself or others, and will it hurt others or myself", before just jumping on, sometimes I get hasty, so that's a good belief to have down. Thank you.

 

And yea outcast, I'm becoming more indifferent, I'm in life to enjoy myself, disrespect, anger, stress, etc, isn't necessary, and I try not to include that in my life if I'm not the root of it.

 

Thanks again, this is helping more than you all can know.

[avellana]

In simple terms.... you have to be something to yourself before you can be something to someone else. It's called having a spirit- a sense of who you are. Just be your own person and be content with what you see. Everything else flows from this.

[lindya]

Its because the mothers of most of these men have turned them into effeminate little sods. Or because they did not have the proper masculine guidance in their formative years. In addition, females today don't even know what they want out of their men and they send mixed messages to men. So the blame falls clearly on females.

 

Come on alpha...you should have seen enough of my posts to know I don't rise that easily. Not when it's a lovely warm day and I'm vaguely pissed (in the British sense of pissed, not the American one).

 

Seriously....taking responsibility for one's behaviour and actions has got to be high on the list of what it means to be a grown up, and and surely the most concise definition of a man is simply that he's a boy who grew up.

 

HOW to go about getting even the smallest things, and they end up falling off. Even in small things guys, push till you accomplish. That's what confidence stems from. Setting goals, and accomplishing them.

 

Definitely, hyakku. Having goals always gives you a sense of direction....and allowing some flexibility in those goals and the road that leads to them provides you with a better chance of success.

[hyakku]

Its because the mothers of most of these men have turned them into effeminate little sods. Or because they did not have the proper masculine guidance in their formative years. In addition, females today don't even know what they want out of their men and they send mixed messages to men. So the blame falls clearly on females.

 

Not entirely, in fact, not really. Sure, mother's raise their son more feminine then males would, but when these guys turn 18, and the **** they are doing ISN'T working, none of them say, "Alright, how can I improve myself, and figure out what's going on here?". They come on message boards (like these), and they rant and rave about how all women aer bitches, and that women are abusers, users, etc, but never look at the common denominator in these problems, themselves.

 

I don't want to sound like women ae 100% perfect, but I'm learning not to place blame on them, because if you think about it, it's not all women's duty to say to guys, "Alright guys, you were raised a bit wrong, let me tell you exactly what to do, how to improve, where you went wrong, and how you can do better next time". Guys need to stop being so afraid/arrogant, and go out there and meet people who are successful (not just with women, but in business etc), and just ASK, what the hell is going on. Most confident men aren't going to go, "HAHAHAHA YOU CAN'T GET LAID!!! HEY EVERYONE THIS GUY GETS NO PUSSY AT NIGHT !!! WOOOO". Really. (though if I saw that I'm sorry but that would be damn funny).

 

Avelanna very true, and a nice condensed version lol.

[Outcast]

but never look at the common denominator in these problems, themselves

 

Dude, we may have to get you an 'official guru' button and stick you on a mountaintop You're exactly right, of course. People who are desperately insecure can't bear to feel as though they've made mistakes so they project their issues onto everybody else in the form of blaming everybody else for their problems. That way, they don't have to look in the mirror and see the hard truth. Nor do they have to make any effort to change. Much easier to say 'that's the way my mommy/sister/girlfriend/wife/(insert any female here) made me' and feign helplessness to do anything about it.

[hyakku]

Dude, we may have to get you an 'official guru' button and stick you on a mountaintop You're exactly right, of course. People who are desperately insecure can't bear to feel as though they've made mistakes so they project their issues onto everybody else in the form of blaming everybody else for their problems. That way, they don't have to look in the mirror and see the hard truth. Nor do they have to make any effort to change. Much easier to say 'that's the way my mommy/sister/girlfriend/wife/(insert any female here) made me' and feign helplessness to do anything about it.

 

I like buttons

[Brittanyjean06]

A real man loves a real woman. And a real woman shares alot of those qualities In the first post( thread ) It's all about being strong with integrity.

 

I hate guys who think that being a man consist of Machoniss and no crying at all

 

A real man isn't ashamed of shedding some tears right?

[Brittanyjean06]

Aye! I'm always late on my replys

 

Bahaha.

[crazy_grl]

After reading through the whole thread, I see that lindya has pretty much covered what I would have said about the original post, and she did it much more effectively than I could have.

 

One thing I want to say though, hyakku, is that as I read, you reminded me of a friend of mine. He's an absolutely great guy. He says some of these exact things (though about people in general, not just guys). One thing I dislike about him sometimes though is that he tends to be a little uncompassionate. He's not a jerk or anything. He just has the opinion that if he can be the way he is, everybody should be able to, because he's no one special. He's unsympathetic to the fact that he's had it easy compared to some other people, and he doesn't have any psychological disorders, etc.

 

I bring this up only because I hope you'll keep those things in mind. If other people aren't as enlightened as you, give them a chance and help them out until they prove that they don't want your help or aren't worth it.

 

And again, I'm seriously impressed by the fact that you're only in high school. I hope you stick with this attitude your whole life. I think it'll make you very successful and happy.

[ronnieromance]

Not entirely, in fact, not really. Sure, mother's raise their son more feminine then males would, but when these guys turn 18, and the **** they are doing ISN'T working, none of them say, "Alright, how can I improve myself, and figure out what's going on here?". They come on message boards (like these), and they rant and rave about how all women aer bitches, and that women are abusers, users, etc, but never look at the common denominator in these problems, themselves.

 

 

 

I never got on the internet and cried. I took my lumps and learned from them. I don't think women are evi, eitherl. Never have. I do think that it is in your nature to push and pull us in different directions and be consequently turned off by the ease with which it is done.

 

I was taught to always give what women wanted, be a gentleman. I was told that sex was beautiful and should be done on rose petals with soft music, not hair pulling, spitting, scratching and screaming.

 

Yeah, I spent my teenage years and the first half of my 20s dating and being hurt trying to live up to a females idea of what a man should be.

 

Basically, when I got my **** together, is when I, more or less, adopted a view in line with hyakkus initial post. I can honestly say I'm much happier and more productive.

 

My mother, being the single mohter in question, did a great job with me. Love her to death and she's really one of my friends as much as my mother. But some of her motehrly instincts essentiall hampered my growth and made some lessons last longer than they should have.

 

 

-R-

[alphamale]

Yeah, I spent my teenage years and the first half of my 20s dating and being hurt trying to live up to a females idea of what a man should be.

yea join the club RR...

[hyakku]

After reading through the whole thread, I see that lindya has pretty much covered what I would have said about the original post, and she did it much more effectively than I could have.

 

One thing I want to say though, hyakku, is that as I read, you reminded me of a friend of mine. He's an absolutely great guy. He says some of these exact things (though about people in general, not just guys). One thing I dislike about him sometimes though is that he tends to be a little uncompassionate. He's not a jerk or anything. He just has the opinion that if he can be the way he is, everybody should be able to, because he's no one special. He's unsympathetic to the fact that he's had it easy compared to some other people, and he doesn't have any psychological disorders, etc.

 

I bring this up only because I hope you'll keep those things in mind. If other people aren't as enlightened as you, give them a chance and help them out until they prove that they don't want your help or aren't worth it.

 

And again, I'm seriously impressed by the fact that you're only in high school. I hope you stick with this attitude your whole life. I think it'll make you very successful and happy.

 

The irony, is that I know exactly what you (and he) are talking about, because I do do that sometimes, and I realize its something I've gotta work on. It just seems like after I've changed, EVERYONE should want to make their lives successful. I guess its because I look out, and there's so much untapped potential ins o many people, just because they don't wanna push for it, it kind of angers me sometimes that people have been giving an opportunity to succeed, but don't.

 

Recently though I've been trying to emphathize and I'm starting to realize that I dunno where that person has been in the past. I mean some people may just be downright cynical, but alot of people may have had something traumatic happen, so its not really my place to get angry cuz I dunno the full story. Those with psychological disorders and all I understand though, one because I wanna major in psychology, and two because I know people like that.

 

But thanks, it is something I've gotta stay conscious of, because I end up realizing that it only harms them, and makes me look bad for being too ignorant to stop and think about what path that person might be walking on, so i've gotta eliminate that ignorance .

 

I never got on the internet and cried. I took my lumps and learned from them. I don't think women are evi, eitherl. Never have. I do think that it is in your nature to push and pull us in different directions and be consequently turned off by the ease with which it is done.

 

I was taught to always give what women wanted, be a gentleman. I was told that sex was beautiful and should be done on rose petals with soft music, not hair pulling, spitting, scratching and screaming.

 

Yeah, I spent my teenage years and the first half of my 20s dating and being hurt trying to live up to a females idea of what a man should be.

 

Basically, when I got my **** together, is when I, more or less, adopted a view in line with hyakkus initial post. I can honestly say I'm much happier and more productive.

 

My mother, being the single mohter in question, did a great job with me. Love her to death and she's really one of my friends as much as my mother. But some of her motehrly instincts essentiall hampered my growth and made some lessons last longer than they should have.

 

If only most men actually DID this. Most just whine cry, settle down in life and take the scraps like pathetic puppies being fed leftovers from the kitchen table (not that all puppies are pathetic ). But you're right man, experience is the best teacher, and there is no such thing as failure, only lessons learned.

 

And now that I have more thought about nmy mindset and kept it, I realize what tests are for. I mean picture this, it really hit my hard last night (I was listening to something about self improvement and stuff):

 

Imagine you are walking down the street, and every look you get, every (or msot) person that talks to you has a hidden agenda. A rare few can carry a normal conversation without trying to get you in bed and use you for their own purpose, most DON'T wanna be friendly, only have one thing on their mind. And this isn't just happening one day, its happening daily, EVERY DAY. You start to become immune to there seemingly "innocent" approaches and calls, and recognize these torpid conversations as a means to bore you into having sex, CONSTANTLY.

 

So how would you figure if this person was worhty of getting past just talking to you and spending more time? Well let's say (I got this from David D, really powerful analogy I believe): Someone said, you have 24 hours to figure out if this person is a liar or not. And at the end either you get a million dollars, or you DIE. What would you do? Well you would most likely devise some type of test that they WEREN'T conscious of, to figure if they were telling a lie or the truth, and you would constantly be running these tests to make sure that you would past this challenge.

 

Now sure dating may not have you DYING, but it does pose a serious risk of some guy is a closet rapist, serial killer, or mental nutcase that could injure you, or your offspring.

 

That's what tests are for. There not made JUST for hyakku, or JUST for RR just to knock our egos down or something, tests are NECESSARY, because almost every GUY has a hidden agenda, its just the reality of an attractive woman.

 

So instead of getting all worked up and angry about tests, laugh, and accept them, because you shouldn't blame a woman for NEEDING to know if you are trustworthy or not, hell I would want to know if I was getting approached 20 or 30 times a day by people who all just wanted to stick their poles into me, hell yea I would test all the time.

 

This, my friend, is why tests are necessary, and why women have all the right to test men, even when in relationships, there are alot of good actors out there that can past these for some periods of time. Games, tests, whatever you wanna call them, or actually necessary for her safety, whether she does them consciously or not, she has every right to, because men aren't being honest about what they want, they try to sneak in with this creepy things.

 

I guarantee if every guy that started a conversation with a woman made it clear from the beginning that they were interested in her but could actually control themselves, these tests wouldn't be as necessary. But when a woman has someone that she thinks is a friend and it turns out he just wants to bone her, she needs to weed these guys out from regulars.

 

Just my opinion, and alot of this I think i picked up from older guys, some of David D (I don't really like to use him for techniques anymore, more just for concepts that I think are useful for understanding dating dynamics, because I think he's pretty good at concepts. Techniques aren't needed anymore thank God ).

[Outcast]

but alot of people may have had something traumatic happen, so its not really my place to get angry cuz I dunno the full story.

 

You don't even have to have something traumatic happen. Some people are just naturally more energetic, ambitious, less easily discouraged, etc. Some folks can receive therapy to help them, say, with the discouragement but there's only so much you can do to tweak energy levels.

 

Everybody is not the same; that's the important thing to remember. So many people say 'well I managed to do X so everybody should be just like me' but everybody is NOT just like you and people who think that everybody's the same don't comprehend the complexity of humanity. So that you may be a firebrand is part of your makeup and not a lack on the parts of others. It's just that they are not you.

Most just whine cry, settle down in life and take the scraps like pathetic puppies being fed leftovers from the kitchen table

 

Ugh. There we go again. Definitely not 'most'. You're not in university yet. When you are, if you write a paper in which you make a statement like that without good science and stats to back up your statement, you'll be burned at the stake, as well you should be. Broad generalizations are wrong most of the time (and yes, somewhere there are stats about that ). And anecdotal evidence (meaning the 'evidence' you've gathered by hearing some stories or talking to some people you know) never is sufficient or acceptable to prove a point.

 

Try to make a practice of not making statements you can't produce evidence to back up. Doesn't mean you have to haul it out, but if you are doing psych, you'll be required to learn how to conduct proper studies and derive conclusions only after rigorous elimination of the possibility of error.

[Shane361]

Wow, I cant even read anymore because it is emotionally draining. 50 years ago I would say society would say you had the rite idea. Luckily...men have evolved on an emotional level to a degree. No longer is the woman in the kitchen and man at the office. In this day and age how can anyone say a man is or should be this. Not even sure I would attempt such a feat. The biggest problem in the past has been that the woman was a slave of the man. Thats not the case and it burns alot of men. I suppose as long as we can look it up in the books it will always be the case but luckily to a smaller % as the years come and go. The 2nd problem that we have is that men are less emotional than woman this creating misunderstanding on many levels. A real man would attempt to try and understand the woman in order to relate on a more emotional plain. So if a man ask himself "what I did wrong" or "how can I remedy this situation" it makes him MORE the man and not less. You want to be the man that requires a slave who accepts the "do as I say cause I said it" then go ahead. But I want a woman that will put me in my place when needed and allow me to put her in hers when she needs it. How else could a relationship continue to be interesting and alive. -Shane

[electric_sheep]

I don't know ... with all due respect, this all seems like pop pychobabble and macho philosophy to me. This seems like the sort of attitude that causes men to go off and fight wars, defending their "honor" or "property" or whatever. Maybe I'm just too Metrosexual.

 

First off, I don't agree with any of this "real man"/"real woman" crap. I think people are people, no matter what their sex, and I think the things that make a person a good person are the same whether you are a girl or a boy.

 

The traits that we identify with being manly or womanly are for the most part drilled into us by our society and culture ... though admittedly some of it is hormonal/biological.

 

I think it would be wonderful if in the future girls learned to speak up for themselves and like math, boys learned to cry and like colors and butterflies, etc ... and people were free to simply be themselves without having to live up to any role or ideal.

 

I'm not sure I like the idea of sacrificing everything for this "purpose" or "calling" you talk about either. After all, what the hell are we doing here anyway ? Pretty much just wasting time till we become fertilizer. Everybody has to decide for themselves what gives their life meaning. For me, my relationships with other people give my life meaning.