Trivium Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Ok, so I''ve been with this girl for over a year and she ened her lease at her apartment and moved into a house that i'm renting with friends and now our lease is up and I really don't want to move in with her into a new apartment but she keeps telling me that she has no where else to go. I got her the job she has now as well as her first car and she's so in love with me but we fight daily, I don't know how to tell her i don't want to share a place with her because when i bring it up she just breaks into tears and begs me not to leave her. She has friends but they have become more distant because of us being together. What should i do to let her know it's not going to happen. It being US getting a place together. One thing to add is i really screwed myself by taking her with to look at apartment and she even wants to pick out a dog to get I just don't know how to tell her it's over. I've tried packing my stuff and telling her i'm leaving when we fight figuring she'd say "fine go" but soon as i bust out my suitcase she's on the floor clinging to me. What can i do?
Pyro Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Ok, so I''ve been with this girl for over a year and she ened her lease at her apartment and moved into a house that i'm renting with friends and now our lease is up and I really don't want to move in with her into a new apartment but she keeps telling me that she has no where else to go. I got her the job she has now as well as her first car and she's so in love with me but we fight daily, I don't know how to tell her i don't want to share a place with her because when i bring it up she just breaks into tears and begs me not to leave her. She has friends but they have become more distant because of us being together. What should i do to let her know it's not going to happen. It being US getting a place together. One thing to add is i really screwed myself by taking her with to look at apartment and she even wants to pick out a dog to get I just don't know how to tell her it's over. I've tried packing my stuff and telling her i'm leaving when we fight figuring she'd say "fine go" but soon as i bust out my suitcase she's on the floor clinging to me. What can i do? You are going to have to get tough with her on this one. She sounds very clingy. You need to do what is going to make you happy. Have you tried explaining to her that living with her will only make you unhappy? It sounds like that you can't communicate with her, so you will have to be firm with her. Just tell her that you love her but at this point, you can not live with her and if she wants the relationship to last, she will respect your decision and do what is right.
gfto Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 This could turn into a situation that could wreck havoc on your quality of life. Stalking might be a strong word to use, but it could easily turn into that. I would politely tell her that you no longer want to see her, and then go with strict, carved-in-stone NO CONTACT.
norajane Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 You're going to end up married with children and the dog if you don't grow some balls and tell her what you want, what you don't want, and then stick to it.
YellowLioness Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Yeah, if I were you, I'd just say something like, "Hey, I know that both of us are unhappy in this relationship. I don't think it would be a good idea for us to continue to live together. In fact, what I want is to be single. I know you're upset, and you have every right to be angry with me, but right now I need to take care of myself and my needs." That way, you keep the ball in your court, and there's really nothing she can say to argue with it. If she gets on the floor and begs, tell her to stand up and be strong on her own, that you can't just keep staying in a relationship because she breaks down in theatrics.
FredTravels Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Or you could just send her a text message "keys will not work. locks have been changed. will ship your stuff. bye."
waitingforlove Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 I can't believe how means guys can be. As much as I agree with you guys, I also think perhaps you could give the girl a chance? Tell her not to be so clingy to you anymore and warn her that if she continues to be that way, you'll break up with her. Don't just suddenly tell her that you have to end the relationship without her having any idea that you are upset. I do think you guys have communication problems, so please talk it out with her!
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