Author strangeway Posted July 13, 2006 Author Posted July 13, 2006 This is my whole point!! He doesnt just start emotionally, verbally or physically abusing me out of nowhere. The point is, he doesnt have a reaction, period! Unless I push him to one, which one could assume is harrassing because it is unwelcomed, but if I dont provoke him to answer me about this, or that, he wont ever talk to me at all....at all....It is like I am a fish in a fish tank that he does what is necessary to keep alive.....he makes sure I am fed, and have clothes on. That is all he is concerned with. If I have eaten, and if I am clothed. Anything, any conversation other than that is unecessary in his eyes. He doesnt tell me that (because he doesnt talk to me) but that is what his actions say.
basscatcher Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 Are you sure domestic violence doesn't affect you? Ask yourself these few questions... There is blaming, cursing or name calling. One person controls the finances. There is control of outside interests and friendships. I see a "Jekyll/Hyde" personality. I make excused for their behavior. Sex in sot a 'mutual' agreement. Household responsibilities are not shared. There was violence in our families while growing up. There are mind games, hostile humor, and /or put downs in public. I cannot express my own opinion. I have trouble communicating. I live in fear. I have unrealistic expectations for myself and others. I feel isolated from my friends or family. One person makes all the decisions. I feel intimidated by looks, actions, and/or voice tone. They threaten suicide or to leave me. There is undue jealousy of my friends, family, and/or my time. There is destruction of my personal property and/or abuse of pets. My children are being used against me in any way possible. I feel angry, on edge, depressed, trapped, and/or suicidal. I find myself yelling at others, especially those I love. I have been a victim of verbal, sexual, and/or physical abuse. I feel alone with absolutely no one to confide in. I struggle with feeling rejected. There is no respect for privacy in our home. Whenever I share things, it's eventually used against me. I am constantly guessing what is wrong or what I did. My partner/friend seems to tune me out and never really communicates with me. What is abuse: Physical Abuse: Any touch not given in love, respect and dignity. Emotional Abuse: Any communication, admonition, reprimand, or reproof that does not uplift, edify, or bring conflict resolution. Are you aware there are 19 forms of abuse. Some forms of abuse are so subtle that people accept them as normal. All forms of abuse are devastating and destroy the individuals and their relationships.
blind_otter Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 This is my whole point!! He doesnt just start emotionally, verbally or physically abusing me out of nowhere. The point is, he doesnt have a reaction, period! Unless I push him to one, which one could assume is harrassing because it is unwelcomed, but if I dont provoke him to answer me about this, or that, he wont ever talk to me at all....at all....It is like I am a fish in a fish tank that he does what is necessary to keep alive.....he makes sure I am fed, and have clothes on. That is all he is concerned with. If I have eaten, and if I am clothed. Anything, any conversation other than that is unecessary in his eyes. He doesnt tell me that (because he doesnt talk to me) but that is what his actions say. You do realize that men and women communicate differently, right? I'm not going to try to force you to see an abusive situation, IME people realize that, in due time, on their own. I will tell you that I have experience with mutually abusive relationships where I would badger and nag for communication until the situation got out of hand. I very often felt nameless rage. Sometimes so intense that it would wake me up out of a sound sleep. Do you do anything out of anger towards him? I had a lot of trouble admitting that I myself had poor strategies when it came to dealing with my own anger. When I learned new, better ones, the way I related to romantic partners miraculously changed.
strangeway01 Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 I feel like whenever I actively seek to recieve help or information concerning this matter, I am immediately shot down. I call a friend, their phone is disconnected. I call another friend, and the phone has these weird mechanical noises that drown out our voices. I try to come here to seek advice and all of a sudden, my password doesnt work anymore, even though it is the same password I have been using since the beginning of time. I feel like I am constantly being thwarted. I cant turn to anyone, because there is no one. Point is that there is no clear sign of abuse until we start fighting, then the namecalling and pushing. and it is over before it even began.
Recommended Posts