Smung Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Well, it’s been awhile now that I and my ex broke and I wanted to give some words of encouragement to those just recently dumped! When I first was dumped I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that the woman I loved was say, “sorry it isn’t working for me”. Looking back I can remember being in auto pilot and doing my job barely, not wanting to go out or do anything! Next, I went into the classic “What if” stage. I was like?? Huh?? What’s not working? What can be done to fix it? What is happening? What if I had only done this or maybe that!! After awhile I started getting mad at myself for being so fooled and falling in love without the other being in love. Sounds Familiar? It should, most people go through these stages during a break-up. Now for the encouragement, I found that the following helped get over the pain and MOVE ON!! First I was lucky to have close friends in the area that took me under their wing and started introducing me to new people and getting me out and having fun. Staying busy was important in this process. Staying busy helped me to not email, text, or call my ex. Sure, I would respond to her emails (Big Mistake) but as of two weeks ago have also stopped that. For me the problem with responding to her contacts was not allowing me the time to be able to move on. Yes, here is the plug for NC now. I know it’s tough, I know it doesn’t seem right to not have contact, BUT it’s the only thing that will help you! Contact soon after a dumping will only make things worse. YOU need time to heal, remember the other person is far ahead of you in this process and should be looked at the dumper as toxic waste. They will either try and use you or manipulate you into a position you don’t want to be in. Another helpful thing I did to get over being dumped was to make a list of all the crappy things I could think of about my ex. Stuck it to my Refrigerator and read it each time I started getting Nostalgic. People have a nasty tendency to remember their past relationships with rose colored glasses. Putting up a list of all the faults helps you get over that! The kicker for me was finding a new relationship with a person who actually wants to spend time with me. Going out again for walks along the waterfront or going out to a nice little bar for drinks and pool, do wonders for getting over the old and moving on! It can be done! Hang in there and stay strong... There IS someone out there for you get away from your computer and find him/her!
JCD Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Thanks for sharing that. Isn't it amazing just how rose colored the glasses really get? The breaking point for me was when I found her lying to me on several occasions and I just couldn't trust her anymore. So that "lack of trust" took number one spot on my list. Like my friend said, chalk this one as experience and move on. Hopefully I've learned something and that knowledge will help me in the future to pick ms. right.
Guest Posted July 14, 2006 Posted July 14, 2006 my ex of 9yrs. broke up with me a few months ago I did the nc thing for a month and a half after the breakup then I started contacting her again, big mistake! I led myself on to believe that it could be something more cuz she always responded to my calls and texts and also said yes whenever I would ask her to hang-out this charrade went on for over a month, well I was slapped in the face by reality when she told me tonight not to get my hopes up cuz she's happy where she's at in her life and she's also seeing someone new and she doesn't wanna go back to us. reading these posts really helps just knowing that there are others out there going through the same thing as me helps to not make me feel so alone. thanks for the words of encouragement it gives me hope that there is life at the end of the tunnel after the ex
Recommended Posts