spinnelli Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 What is the argument against rebound relationships anyway? Anyone ever feel like they just need someone else or something else to obsess over just for a little while, something else to be excited about right now that will erase the ex's thoughts from your mind? I don't necessarily want to hop into another relationship and it's not about my inability to be alone, I don't have a problem with that. But why do I have to be alone and be sad at the same time. I just need a new object of affection, like a brief meaningless fling or affair that will force me to focus my attention on someone else just for a few months. I KNOW that will definitely topedo thoughts of the ex from my mind faster than these NC crap that is taking up so much energy and effort. I'm tired of thinking about him, us and our whole relationship, I'm just sick of it but no matter how sick I am of it, I can't seem to make myself stop. And there is the saying that the fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone new (figuratively speaking ofcourse, not a license to be whoring around). The new fling will ofcourse be just that, a fling, that both parties are well aware of , and can walk away from at will so no one gets hurt. But even with that, I'm not so lucky, I'm not exactly swatting guys off like flies as a newly single woman. Oh how I wish.......
SC Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Some people may not see it that way. The thing is that many people don't want to think about anyone else straight away. OK, no contact is difficult but initially you must get over your grief before you start finding someone else. I was dumped 3 days ago and I dont wanna think about anyone else at the minute, not her, no one. I do agree that finding someone new will help you focus on someone else rather than ur ex. But you must be so careful that it doesn't backfire. What happens if the other person starts to love you but to you it's only a fling? I'm so unconfident that I can't bring myself to dump anyone, hence I'm always dumped even if I wanna finish a relationship. I even feel as though no one else would want me ever. I'm really down in the dumps that even if I think of another woman I'm still gutted and I just look like a sad loser. Hence no action later on. Sorry for playing devils advocate. I do think it is a good thing to have a fling afterwards. There are just a few difficulties with it tho and they should be considered before jumping in.
lebowski24 Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 I think as long as the other person is aware it's a fling, then what's the harm? Although the best would be a one-night stand, I could certainly use one of those right about now.
MrPot Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 I think it's absolutely a good idea to start dating right after a break up. I'm doing it now. It keeps your mind off of him/her and makes you feel good. Why not?
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 That saying only applies to some of us. From my " personal experience" I find at first of the break up all you want to do is run to someone else, but why be in something that is not real? Why have to go to someone else when you can take time for your self and your life and make friends and do the things that you want to do. That is the healthiest way out. I think once you are able to move on by your self you should start dating and see other guys. But that only applies to some people to. Sure it gets lonely but you can find all the love and comanionship from your family and your friends and you'll see that It is important to stay single for a while and you will also realize how great it can be:)
alphamale Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 What is the argument against rebound relationships anyway? Anyone ever feel like they just need someone else or something else to obsess over just for a little while, something else to be excited about right now that will erase the ex's thoughts from your mind?....... There's only one hard & fast rule to "rebound" relationships. If you're the one on the rebound then don't tell your new lover. And don't talk about the ex.
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