its been a year since we had a rough spot, still not over it. FOR THE LOVE OF

[alwaybroken]

HELP ME.

 

i'm now 22, she is a year younger. We have been dating for 2.5 years.

 

Last summer I was so stupid and confused I was really mean to her and broke up with her (for really no other reason besides not wanting to settle down). When I broke up with her we used the term "taking a break". She said she was going to wait for me (meaning she wouldnt see other guys), I didnt NOT make her say this she said it on her own. She'd call me all the time telling me how much she loved me and wanted to be with me and all this stuff she was willing to do to be with me again. She thought that we'd get married.

 

Because of all the calls I become more mean to her just to get her off my back. After two weeks I realized what a stupid mistake I had made. I called her up to talk about it, after some talking she confessed that she had hooked up with my roommate (it was summer so i wasnt in town, but they both were). Now this gets weird because 1) I was planning to live with him again, and 2) my girl had just started a lease for the apartment NEXT TO MINE, the same building, the door right next to mine and my roommates. So I was so mad of course I am not going to live with that roommate again. So I lived with some "real" friends. The problem is she was still on the new lease and he was still living there as well. Well me and my girl got back togeather and all year long (this past school year) I'd get furious everytime I saw my roommates car parked, and even more FUROIS as I passed his door to get to my girlfriends. I had to deal with this everyday. I'd even pass him by once in a while. My blood is starting to boil right now as i write this. The school year ended and my gf no longer lives there now, but I still hated every day that she did. To top it all off my roommate took pictures on his cell phone of them hooking up (naked sexual acts...). They did not have sex, but I get so mad about it all, wondering why she let him take pictures, and why did he want to take pictures. I confronted him about the photos he said he deleted them but i dont believe him (after all he did stab me in the back already). I always worry about the pictures, everyday.

 

sO this happend last summer, i think about it everyday and it makes me depressed. I love this girl so much and I hate myself everyday for letting it happen. If i wasnt so stupid none of this would have happend. I want to marry this girl but I am affriad the pictures will show up one day and that would detroy me. Durring the past year I have become a HUGE control freak with my gf and I hate it when she talks to guys or my friends, or goes to partys/bars without me. I never had a problem with this before. I would really love to get over this but it so hard... I bring it up a lot with her and I get really mad I call her names, i get very angry and mean.

[alwaybroken]

im losing sleep over this and its been a year... its currently 4:38am i cant sleep cuz this is all ive been thinking about lately. some days arent as bad as others, but it crosses my mind at least everyday.

[Sally00]

Well, we all make mistakes. You said you felt like you made a big mistake breaking up with her. Well, looks like she made a mistake... with the pictures.

 

 

They're just pictures. Stop thinking about it. Don't let some stupid pictures ruin what you and your girlfriend have. It's in the PAST. Just look ahead to the future.

[Walk]

Maybe I'm reading too much into your words, but you sound obsessive about this. You said you're becoming more controlling, that you're taking your anger out on her by yelling at her and calling her names. It's mentally scarring, emotionally abusive.

 

Why are you so mad at her? Do you feel she betrayed you?

 

I'm concerned for you. It doesn't sound like you want to be this way, or treat her so cruelly. I know my college has counselors to help students deal with emotional difficulties. I think it's already paid for by the tuition. It might be helpful to you if you were to talk to a professional about your feelings and get to the root of the problem, rather than release all of your negative emotions onto your gf. And I could vouch for the fact that it is horrible, absolutely horrible to have the person you love throw mean words at you because they are angry at something else. It destroys their self-esteem, kills their happiness, make them feel like less of a person... all so that you can feel better for a brief minute. Please look into the counseling. Its confidential, and no one else would ever need to know. And it would help your relationship become something wonderful and happy instead of vindictive and depressing.