JhnZ71 Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Hi, Im 18 and normally I live in the St. Louis area during the winter, but in the summer I live in Boston. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 10 months, she lives in St. Louis. Before I left we agreed that nothing would come in between us and we would figure out a way to get through the three month seperation still together. Ten days in I get a call and she is crying telling me how much she loves me but she wants to have an "open relationship". I of course am appaled and say no. She relenting for some time says ok and we stay together, after some time thngs seem to be going well again. About a week ago, I went home and saw her and everything was great as normal. We had tons of fun together. Now 5 days after I get back to Boston she wants to have an open relationship again. Citing that "home just isnt the same without me", and its so hard for her to not have me around. I dont want to be a jerk and "limit" her or be the excessively selfish boyfriend who keeps his girlfriend on a short leash. At the same time however I just cant bear the thought of loosing her to this, because when we are together things are awesome. What should I say to her? I tried to give her the option of breaking up (permenantly) or staying togehter. but she tells me that its not fair and that im not giving her a choice. Please help, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
CanaDavid Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 hm... i am kind of going through the same thing... try to reach some sort of a compromise.. set boundaries to what she can and can't do... things that you will be somewhat okay with. see... the problem i am running into is where to draw the line... that is the hardest part, because noone wants to sway at all... especially with how much you let her do.. but that is what has to happen. good luck to you and your relationship.
Fun2BMe Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Why don't you move to her town or have her move with you? It sounds like she is throwing this at you every time things are going great as a way to get your attention to move closer to her? When you offer the choice to break up instead she says no. I don't think it's a good option to have an open relationship if both of you are not ok with it. Tell her that if she doesn't love you enough to be exclusive, then you have decided that you shouldn't be together, that true love takes sacrifice and is not easy all the time. I don't think it's selfish of you to not be ok with an open relationship, and to consider that as having her on a short leash. I think it's selfish of her to want one! Most people are not ok with sharing their SO with others, even if they live at a distance from each other.
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